On a lighter note, there's high elves and then there are "high" elves. Oh,
Portland, I love you so:

The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she
got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding
elf.

But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by the
intersection of Southeast 7th and Morrison.

A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and
staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car.

She called 911, reporting that "a pirate" was attacking her car.

When police got there, they detained Konrad Bass of Glendale, Oregon.

Bass told officers that he wasn't a pirate but a "high-elf engaged in
battle with the evil Morgoth."

Morgoth is a character created by JRR Tolkien in a prequel to the Lord of
the Rings stories. In the stories, he is the character from which all evil
grew.

Bass, who was cited for criminal mischief and transported to Providence
Hospital, also told officers he had taken LSD.

The woman's car had several puncture marks.


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