-Caveat Lector-
an excerpt from:
Ritual Abuse
Margaret Smith©1993
HarperCollins Publishers
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
ISBN 0-06-250214-X
213pps — out-of-print
--[4]--
Chapter 4
Physical, Sexual, and
Emotional Abuse of Children:-
Brainwashing and Programming
Dream: April 11, 1985
I was at the kitchen table eating dinner with my family. Everyone was talking
and laughing, and I kept trying to say something. Their conversation became
louder drowning out my voice. Nobody looked at me. Nobody acknowledged that I
had said something. I felt like I was in a glass cage. I could see out, but
no one could see in. The feelings of isolation were unbearable. I walked over
to my mother and started pulling on her sleeve. "Mom, Mom, listen to me!" I
pleaded. She continued to laugh with the others, without so much as her head
turning toward me. I looked up at my entire family. "Listen to me!" I
screamed, "Why won't you listen to me?" Still, they didn't look at me. I I
felt like I was invisible. Anger burned inside of me. The frustration made
every cell in my body turn to fire. I hated them, but there was nothing I
could do to make them acknowledge my existence.
I reached for a hammer and smashed my arm. "Look at this!" I said. "Do you
see this?" Still no one noticed. I became crazed with my fury to hurt myself
I was mocking just how little they cared. "Look at this!" I said, and I
started rubbing my body on the carpet as hard as I could to give it rug bum.
I felt nothing. My body didn't exist. All I wanted to do was hurt my family,
and my body was the tool I could use to show just what they had done to me. I
wanted to make people see the pain. I wanted to mock the games of silence I
never had control over Still nobody noticed.
There was a knock at the door I got up and answered it. It was my best
friend, Kristin. She looked at me with horror "Oh, my God," she said. "What
have you done?" For the first time, I looked down at my body and noticed the
torn and mangled flesh. I felt confused and numb. I had never noticed the
physical damage. "We've got to call the ambulance," she said. I was quiet. I
didn't know what to do anymore.
The ambulance came, and they hooked me up to an I.V. and a life-support
system. The medic looked down at me and said, "You know you may die." I
looked over my body and saw the bruised limbs and the tired bones. I felt
overwhelmed with grief My body had paid the price for all the pain I could
never express in words. I realized that the most important relationship in my
life is the relationship I have with myself. Who was my family, anyway? Who
were any of those people who ignored me? My body was going to die. I was
going to die. What had I done to deserve any of this?
I had punished me because I could never punish anyone else. I always vented
my frustration on me because no one else could acknowledge the
all-penetrating injustices perpetrated against me.
In that final instance, I saw it. I saw that no matter what happens, that no
matter what anyone ever says or does to me, it will never be worth losing me.
And I felt it. I truly felt it. Me—without anyone's opinions or ideas of what
I was. just me. I looked at my body, and I truly remembered. I knew I had to
keep living. I had found my reason to survive.
Although many different groups engage in ritual abuse, the abuse has many
common characteristics. Sexual abuse, animal and human sacrifice, and
physical torture are common themes. Many groups also profit financially from
child pornography and child prostitution. Most victims of ritual abuse report
being drugged during the abuse. Due to the effects of the drugs, many of the
ritual abuse memories may have a distant, foggy quality, as survivors
remember the abuse in therapy. Tables 4.1 and 4.2 list the types of abuse
perpetrated against ritual abuse survivors in our study
Table 4.1 The Forms of Abuse Perpetrated Against
Ritual Abuse Survivors
Molestation or intercourse 100%
Forced participation in group sex with adults 96%
Torture of you 94%
Witnessing or forced participation in animal sacrifice 90%
Witnessing or forced participation in human sacrifice 88%
Sodomy 88%
Drugged during the abuse 88%
Witnessing or forced participation in cannibalism 82%
Forced to torture others 75%
Child prostitution 52%
Child pornography 52%
Forced to breed children who were later sacrificed 36%
Table 4.2 Other Forms of Abuse Mentioned by
Ritual Abuse Survivors
Mental programming 21%
Bestiality 17%
Use of electric shock for torture 13%
Witnessing/ forced participation
in dismemberment/mutilation of bodies 12%
Being hung upside down 10%
Forced to kidnap children from playgrounds 8%
Hypnotism 8%
Pets killed 4%
Psychic surgery 4%
Being rented out to other cults 4%
Violent cult rituals often involve the sacrificial killing of animals or
humans. One survivor recalls in detail the killings she witnessed during the
rituals.
In all, I believe I witnessed the murders of six people as part of the
rituals. They were: a baby who was dismembered and killed with an ax, a baby
who was stabbed to death by my mother, a baby who was stabbed by a man, a
young pregnant woman who was stabbed in the stomach (to kill the fetus also),
a mentally retarded or schizophrenic man who was given a lethal injection,
and a man who was stabbed to death. There may have been others, but these are
the only ones I have distinct memories of...
When people or animals were stabbed to death, their blood was caught in a
gold bowl, and then everyone drank some of it. Parts of the bodies, such as
hearts and organs, were also eaten.
Consumption of blood and flesh, performed in a communionlike fashion, is
usually an integral part of ritual sacrifice. Rituals sometimes involve the
killing of children and adults, and the acts are not necessarily carried out
in the name of Satan. One survivor describes a ritual similar to the one
noted above, where the purpose of the ritual was to seek purification from
God:
In 1952 or 1953, at the age of eight or nine, I witnessed the ritual sexual
abuse and murder of children in a Christian "healing church" within an hour's
drive or so of my home in Maryland.
The church was an ornate mausoleum, with stained glass windows high on the
walls and with crypts for the storage of embalmed bodies. Wooden pews faced a
long, stage-like altar. The pulpit stood to the worshipers' right ...
According to the preacher, the Day of Judgment was near at hand (as evidenced
by the practice of air raids, bomb shelters, and city evacuation plans of the
Cold War), so the salvation of souls was urgent. He said the old people
before him had already grown wise in the work of the Lord-, their survival as
exemplars of the faith was essential. In order that those men might continue
the work of the Lord, he said sanctified children "had offered their own
vitality in Christian sacrifice." These little girls, lined up on the altar,
were "saints" voluntarily surrendering their lives that their elders might
live to spread the Gospel among those yet unsaved before the Day of Judgment.
The men had only to "embrace" the pure children (that is, copulate with them)
to receive a share of their vitality. During the "communion" rituals at the
church, the girls, four to ten years old, thus discharged their "lifeforce"
to the men over a period of several weeks until they were completely emptied
(that is, dead).
Violent cults use a variety of justifications for these human and animal
sacrifices. Some groups state that human sacrifice is no different than the
animal sacrifices of the past. They note that the God of the Old Testament
demanded animal sacrifices in his name. In their belief system, human beings
are nothing more than complex animals, and they have no more right to life
than any other creature on the earth. If the God of the Old Testament
demanded animal sacrifice, they say, why is the sacrifice of a larger animal,
a human, more of a sin than the sacrifice of a smaller animal, such as a
lamb? Some groups state that the ritual context is the only justified place
for killings. In life, in order for anything to survive, something must die.
Be it an animal or a plant, something must be killed. This is the law of
nature, the food chain, the act of eating. Some groups may claim that the
sacrifice of animals or humans in rituals brings them closer to understanding
the natural order of life, which naturally encompasses death. They view the
sacrifices as a way to directly confront this natural cycle of life and death
in a systematic, structured fashion. By killing in a ritual, as opposed to
random killing for food or during war, the group claims to connect the act to
something higher than themselves. To a group based on this philosophy, the
human or animal sacrifice is just that, a sacrifice. One creature dies to
regenerate the life of all the rest. In such a belief system, the death of
the sacrifice results in greater wisdom for all people who witness the death
of the victim.
No matter what philosophical justification is used for the "sacrifice,"
children always see the act as a cold-hearted murder. Children who watch
people or animals killed are terrified as they watch the creature die. It is
one thing to eat a salad; it is another thing to watch creatures suffer,
knowing that you could ease their pain. If the adults in the groups connect
to the feelings of the helpless, desperate child, they realize that no
justification stops the intense pain, loneliness, and fear.
CHILD ABUSE
Adults who sexually, physically, or emotionally violate children attempt to
rationalize their behavior in order to stop their own guilt. Some adults
claim that physical child abuse is "discipline." The adults believe they have
a right to physically assault children if the assault is justified by some
principle, such as, "You asked for the beating by talking back." In the case
of ritual abuse, secrecy maintains the smooth operation of the group. If the
child tells someone about the ritual abuse, the child is disciplined, that
is, punished with torture. For example, the abuser might insert needles into
the child's genitals, all the while telling her she is evil. Other torture
might include stretching, electrical shock, prolonged confinement with body
parts or insects, or being hung upside down, while verbally instilling the
same lesson.
Some adults in cults justify their violent behavior by telling themselves
they are preparing their victims for the difficult struggles of life. No
matter what justification is used for the ritual abuse, the violence is
always about the exploitation of helpless victims. When adults steal
children's rights of physical and emotional safety, the violating acts are
about the abusers' own pain. They are capable of hurting children without
remorse because of their own emotional isolation from other human beings.
Some cults abuse children in order to make the children stronger" than other
people, to create a "superior" breed of people who can withstand any degree
of pain. Sometimes the abused children are nothing more than objects used for
magical purposes during rituals. Many magical teachings are based on the
belief that people reach higher levels of spiritual awareness through pain
and suffering. Sometimes magicians inflict the pain on themselves, and
sometimes on innocent victims. Children in these situations become nothing
more than another article-like a robe, altar, or candle-used during the
ritual. They are treated as inanimate objects. Children are also used by
their abusers to satisfy the abusers' sadistic fantasies.
The sexual, physical, and emotional assaults on the children in all ritual
abuse contexts appear to have specific, unspoken functions. Violent cults
want to control their victims. Most often, the goal of the ritual abuse is
indoctrination. Children abused in these cults learn that their bodies are
not their own and that anyone can touch them or do whatever they like.
Children learn they are neither physically, sexually, nor emotionally safe.
They must obey those around them or risk being attacked.
The abuse is intended to make the children feel helpless and ashamed.
The more helpless and hopeless the children feel, the easier they are to
control. A great deal of the ritual abuse is also designed to make the
children feel responsible for things they had no choice about. The cults
deliberately set up scenes where a child is forced to commit or witness a
violent act, only for the group to turn on the child. Cult members tell her
that what happened was her fault, because she is "evil" or "bad." The child
learns that she cannot control what goes on around her. She learns that no
matter what, she will always be the one at fault. On a deep, feeling, child
level, ritual abuse survivors are taught they are responsible for every bad
thing that happens around them, and that no matter what, they can't change
any of it. A survivor describes an example of this brain-washing during a
lynching:
At one point, [my father] kicked me and knocked me down. He said to me, "That
nigger fucked you, and that's why we had to cut his balls off and string him
up. He fucked you because you asked for it, showing off your little tits and
all that, you little whore. You helped us cut him up and string him up. So,
for the rest of your life, all the niggers of the world will be coming after
you to kill you, and you will have to let them do anything they want."
None of what he said was actually true. I don't believe I was ever abused by
a black man, and I certainly did not participate in the torture and lynching
of this man.
Many cults pervert or misuse Christian teachings in an attempt to make the
child feel guilty and ashamed. A survivor gives this example:
On specific holidays throughout the year, the cult would engage in rituals
which mock or oppose Christianity. At Christmas, rather than baby Jesus being
born, he was tortured, sexually abused, and murdered by "Mother Mary,"
Joseph, and the Three Wise Men. Also they told me after that ritual: "Jesus
died for your sins. You are bad. You should have died. It is blasphemy what
you did. You are bad. He died because of your sins. You should be punished."
Most survivors noted that eventually they were forced to participate in the
violence. One survivor stated:
On at least one occasion, I was forced to participate in a murder ... I knew
they were going to kill him, and some adult (I don't know who) came up to me
and put my hand around the sharp knife's handle and this person closed his or
her hand around mine, and together we cut off the mans penis. Then he was
stabbed to death by the adult. They told me I had taken his "manhood" and
that because of that, I would have to take on the role of a male, and that I
could never enjoy being a girl or a woman.
Cults are able to cut children off from their own sense of what feels right
and what feels wrong by forcing them to participate in violent acts. Many
survivors recall being forced to hurt and kill the things they love. Some
survivors recall being forced to kill their pets. For a child living in such
an isolated environment, being forced to kill a pet may be like killing her
only friend in the world. By making the child betray the things she loves,
the cult is able to force her to rely solely on the group for any emotional
nurturing.
PROGRAMMING
Many groups deliberately program ideas and beliefs into their victims during
overwhelmingly painful torture sessions. For example, while needles are
inserted in her vagina, a girl might be told she is filled with poison that
infects anyone she loves. Survivors are usually programmed with specific
information about how to behave outside the cults. While being tortured, they
are told to never talk about the abuse. They are told how to act and who to
have as friends.
Torture used during programming usually takes the form of electrical shock,
stretching, or poking with needles-methods that do not leave marks. One
survivor remembers:
There was a doctor present at each one of the rituals who seemed to have a
special high-ranking position. The doctor advised the people who were
torturing the children on just what to do, and what not to do, to leave any
marks. And after the ceremony was over, he treated some of the injuries and
explained to the parents what they could say to explain away the injuries, in
case school officials or anyone else asked in the case of children abused by
their parents, if the torture ever caused enough physical damage for someone
to suspect abuse, parents might have kept the child at home "with the flu."
Hypnosis is also used to enhance the effects of programming. Hypnosis and
torture are used to gain control of every aspect of Victims' lives. As
ritually abused children grow up, hypnosis and torture are used to program
where to go to school, what to do as a job, and even who to marry.
Programming also involves teaching children that they are somehow superior to
others. This common brainwashing tactic alienates the children from any sense
of belonging with other "ordinary" human beings. This sense of "specialness"
is the only positive feeling children raised in cults are allowed to feel.
The children learn to identify this feeling with belonging to the cult. The
cults use this ploy of "specialness" to keep the children bonded to the
group. One survivor recalls:
The leader soon learned he could make us do or believe anything he
wanted. On one end of the spectrum, he told us we were Kali, goddess of
destruction, and we would do unspeakable acts for him. On the other end, he
would use drugs, hypnosis, and torture to make us not reveal anything about
the cult.
Triggers
Victims are programmed under torture to respond to specific triggers, such as
certain colors or words. Using the trigger stimulus, the cults are able to
contact the personalities who were born during the torture. After being
triggered, survivors forget what they did while they were in their other
personality. The groups use trigger words or symbols to bring survivors to
meetings or rituals against their will.
For example, a survivor who wants to break free of the cult might do
everything in her power to get away from her abusers, only to receive a phone
call from them in the middle of the night. When she answers the phone, she
hears bells and a voice that whispers, "Come" The word "come" is a trigger
word she learned during tor-ture. The message she learned about the trigger
was that when she hears the word "come," she needs to go to a ritual or else
they will find her and torture her again. When the survivor hears the
trigger, she immediately switches personalities and complies with the wishes
of her abusers. The next morning the survivor wakes up completely unaware
that she received the phone call or went to a ritual.
To summarize, programming is about control. It is about brainwashing the
child into becoming a member of the group. Most of the programming is
designed to protect the group's secrecy. The silence of all members is an
essential priority of all cults that ritually abuse children.
Because it is done so consistently during such traumatic situations,
programming seems to have mechanical effects on survivors. Without even
realizing it, survivors respond to triggers and programming they learned
during their childhood. Programming has an even greater effect on survivors
when brainwashing is intertwined with the survivors' true feelings.
Separating their true feelings and fears from programming helps survivors
break the hold the brainwashing has on them. The following are examples of
typical cult programming and how it taps into the real feelings of survivors.
Suicide
Many abusers program survivors under torture to commit suicide if they ever
remember or tell of the ritual abuse. This is the easiest way for cults to
get rid of members who do not comply with the rules of silence. A suicide
makes the survivor look like the problem and discredits the claims of abuse.
Feeling suicidal is a very common experience for ritual abuse survivors.
Survivors of ritual abuse experience excruciatingly high levels of pain.
Survivors raised in cults, if they choose to leave, often have to cut ties
with old friends and family members. They constantly have to keep their eyes
open for people who may attempt to pull them back into a cult. The lives of
ritual abuse survivors trying to break free are filled with fear and dread at
the possibility of having to face the abusers. They are plagued with
loneliness and the feeling that they dont belong anywhere.
Survivors who are still being ritually abused today are faced with the
greatest feelings of hopelessness. They feel utterly helpless, like animals
trapped in locked cages. These survivors see no escape from their lives of
suffering. To these people, suicide appears to be the easiest and quickest
solution.
Suicidal feelings also surface through the memory process. As survivors begin
to remember the abuse, they experience the same feelings as when the abuse
was happening. This is a natural part of the memory process; however, without
an understanding of the pain, the survivor may believe the suffering will
last forever. The physical and emotional pain is so intense that the survivor
may want to die. It seems she can numb the pain by killing herself or hurting
her body. Suicidal feelings are very common among people abused in cults.
They let the survivor know in the deepest manner possible, "I wanted more
than this." It is important for all survivors to remember that it is a
mistake to act on these suicidal feelings. There is hope for change today.
Self-Mutilation
Some violent cults teach survivors to internalize their "punishment" for
going against the teachings of the group. As punishment, survivors are
programmed to cut themselves or to hurt themselves if they ever tell people
about cult activities. Again, survivors are usually taught this lesson during
torture sessions. They are told trigger words to make them hurt themselves at
the command of their abusers and told to self-mutilate if they ever go
against the group.
Survivors who tell about the abuse are faced with the justified fear of not
being believed. Many survivors have been victimized when they told of the
ritual abuse. Survivors have been told they were possessed, blamed for the
abuse, and not believed. The injustices perpetrated against survivors by the
cult and by society are so great that some survivors feel they have only one
way to express their anger and frustration. The only person's behavior they
can control is their own, so they turn their frustration and anger inward and
they cut their own bodies. They turn on themselves because other people do
not hear their pain or accept the truth of what they say.
For many survivors, telling about the abuse also leads to validation of the
memories, which causes more pain. When survivors accept that their memories
are true, they must grieve for everything they have lost. Often they become
plagued with self-destructive impulses because they are so furious and hurt
by the past they cannot change.
Acting on self-mutilating impulses causes survivors more pain in the long
run. When survivors are able to find a safe environment, they are able to
ride out the pain of the memories with support. They are then free to scream
about the injustices committed against them. They grieve their losses. In the
end, they live in their own personal truth. They regain their lives.
Kill the Person You Tell
Some violent cults also protect their secrets by programming survivors to
kill the people they tell about the abuse. Once again, people label the
survivors as insane and invalidate the memories of ritual abuse.
This programming is usually taught during torture sessions. Or the child
might be put into a situation where she is allowed to get close to a cult
member. When she tells the cult member about abuse perpetrated against her,
the member turns on her and aligns with the abusers. She feels like killing
this individual, and the abusers may use this rage from the trauma to control
the child. They may tell her that all people that she tells about the abuse
will eventually betray her, and she is best off to kill them soon after she
discloses.
This programming to kill taps into the survivor's valid desire to protect
herself. If someone breaks into her house and attacks her, then she has the
right to use whatever violence necessary to stop the attack. All people have
this right to self-defense. But survivors of ritual abuse were never allowed
to defend themselves in the cult context. These natural feelings for
self-protection have been twisted by the cults into a blind rage that the
cults control. The survivors never received any genuine relief for their rage
because their feelings could never be expressed to the people who violated
and controlled their every move. Cults use this blind rage to force survivors
to commit acts of violence.
Kill Someone You Love
Survivors are also programmed to kill the people they love. By teaching
survivors to betray their own most intimate relationships, the cult is able
to destroy the survivors' connections to other people. Children abused in
violent cults often bond with one another, and the cults use these
relationships time and time again to hurt the survivors. They force close
friends to betray and humiliate each other. Eventually, the children are so
confused about love and their feelings that killing people they are fond of
seems easier than having to betray them or be betrayed by them at the next
ritual.
This programming taps into survivors' own uncomfortable feelings about being
vulnerable: When they were vulnerable in the past, they were betrayed. These
violent cults teach children that they are unlovable. They tell them that no
one will ever care about them. This type of emotional cruelty makes the
children ache so badly for love that when they finally feel love inside and
reach out to someone, they are paralyzed with fear that the love might not be
returned. Their entire sense of worth—in proving that the cults are
wrong—lies in the hands of the beloved. This degree of vulnerability is
uncomfortable, if not unbearable. By killing the loved one, survivors destroy
their chance to feel the pleasure of being loved, but they are able to cease
the discomfort of not knowing if the love is returned. It sometimes seems
easier to stay numb than to open up and possibly have your feelings rejected.
Love/Hate Relationships Between Cult Members
Children raised together in violent cults develop powerful bonds, similar to
the bonds that develop between war veterans. Cults use these close
relationships to keep survivors bonded to the group. Cults also use these
relationships to teach survivors that they will never be able to trust or
love anyone without feeling hurt and betrayed.
Cults deliberately set up scenes where friends betray each other, For
example, a cult might force children who are close friends to beat and
torture each other, and then convince the injured child that his friend
wanted to do these cruel things. When the children grow up, they learn to
enjoy betraying the people they love, much in the same way that they learn to
hurt themselves to survive the pain. Initially, neither child had control of
the violent scenes. They were both trapped in a situation that neither of
them could change. They learned to do as they were told, even if it meant
betraying their strongest feelings to treat their loved one with kindness.
As the children grow older, they feel intense love and intense hatred for the
people they are bonded to in the cult. For many survivors, not only is the
beloved the person who made them feel loved and special, but the beloved is
also the one who tore their heart to shreds when he complied with the wishes
of the cult to betray them. These betrayed survivors carry the hidden shame
and remorse for all the times they were forced to betray the loved one as
well. The survivors end up feeling as if their love is tainted and dangerous.
But love is not what caused the betrayal. The reality is that the children
were trapped. Love gave the children their few fleeting glimpses of security
and pleasure. It was the cult that betrayed the children. It was the cult
that taught them love is about pain.
If You Ever Tell, We Will Kill You
Many violent cults threaten survivors and harass them in an attempt to bring
them back under the influence of the group. Cults promise to kill any
survivor who tells of the ritual abuse. Through experience, survivors know
that these cults are capable of killing. Despite these threats, cults usually
do not seem to act on their warnings. The first priority in violent cults is
to maintain intense secrecy. Cults are more interested in keeping their
existence secret than in killing a member who may be attempting to leave the
group. From their perspective, their energy is probably better spent pursuing
survivors who are trying to get out to manipulate them to return, rather than
acting on their threats to kill survivors.
People who attempt to leave the cult often face such overwhelming denial and
revictimization that they eventually give up the struggle to find a better
life. The fact that most people do not believe ritual abuse exists adds to
the power cults have over their victims. As a result, many survivors never
find the help they need to break free. It is very difficult for survivors to
get out, and the groups are able to move in and pull survivors back in at
their weakest moments.
We Will Kill the People You Love
Many violent cults threaten to kill the people survivors love, but usually do
not act on this threat. Again, acting on it might be a mistake. If the loved
one of a survivor is a noncult member, killing the nonmember would validate
the survivor's memories of the ritual abuse. Moreover, killing the friend
would leave the cult vulnerable to attack from noncult people who may have
cared about the murder victim. This would break the first rule of secrecy.
After examining their priorities, they may decide that keeping any single
member is not worth jeopardizing the existence of the entire group.
It is also not in the cult's best interest to kill a loved one who is a cult
member. Cults spend a great deal of time programming and raising each
survivor to hold a specific role within the group. Killing one member because
they are about to lose another would potentially result in losing them both.
They know that if they acted on the threat to kill this individual, the
survivor trying to get out would lose a strong tie to the cult. In fact, the
survivor would probably hate the group even more. Therefore, it seems to be a
more effective tactic for the cult to keep the loved one alive while
continuing with the threats.
If You Leave, We Will Torture the Cult Member You Love
Many violent cults threaten to harm someone the survivor knows is a cult
member. The cults have access to these people for torture or physical
deprivation. The bonds between cult members are the most powerful weapons the
cults use to make survivors comply with their wishes. Threatening to harm a
loved one in the cult is enough to keep most survivors from leaving. Cults
are very capable of carrying out these threats. Often close friends and
family members are also members of the group, and risking their safety may
not seem worth a failed attempt to leave the group.
Unfortunately, even if the survivor stays in the cult, this loved one will
still be hurt and so will she. By leaving the group, the survivor gives a
chance for others to follow. As long as people remain cult members, they
remain unable to protect themselves or the people they love from the physical
and mental cruelties of the group. The best way to protect loved ones is for
survivors to get out themselves and show by example that it is possible to
have a new way of life free of control by others.
We Are Magic
Violent cults want children to believe they are all-powerful. They try to
convince children that they have magical powers. Often they tell the children
that they can read their minds and send evil spirits after them if they
misbehave or betray them. Survivors sometimes feel the presence of alter
personalities who believe they were possessed. The sensation is actually a
memory of how each survivor felt at a certain point during the ritual abuse
experience. It is not the wrath of spirits that cults control. The acts
committed against survivors, the horrible feelings that they must have felt,
combined with the cult framing the emotional experience of the children as
"evil spirits controlling their bodies," all lead survivors to explain this
particular sensation of loss of body control as a possession. The evil spirit
is really the final eruption of the repressed emotional energy that the
survivor can no longer control.
Abusers pretend to have magical powers to intimidate children into
compliance. They use these lies to make children feel powerless. Sometimes,
as survivors remember the abuse, coincidentally at the same time something
bad happens to them-they may get in a car accident or get cancer, for
example. These natural occurrences, which happen to ritual abuse survivors
and non-ritual abuse survivors alike, are sometimes mistaken as proof by
survivors and their advocates that the cults in fact have magical powers.
This interpretation of survivors' traumatic experiences is extremely
revictimizing. Survivors of ritual abuse have a right to get sick and face
tragedy in the same way that all people face their painful life experiences.
They have a right to face life tragedies without feeling "cursed" because of
their ritual abuse experience.
You Are Crazy ... It's Only a Dream
What violent cults do to children makes them feel the craziness of never
knowing what is real. Often they tell children that the ritual abuse is only
a dream, a very, very bad dream. They tell children that kids actually enjoy
being sexually and physically abused. They make the children thank them after
they have been beaten. They teach children never to trust their own
perceptions of reality, by lying to them about what is happening. The
overwhelming feelings children experience during the abuse exacerbate the
feeling of being out of control and "crazy."
As the memories surface in later life, it is very confusing for survivors to
understand why they never remembered any of the abuse until that moment. They
may feel crazy, but they also feel a strong sense of familiarity, which lets
them know they are not making any of it up. Survivors of ritual abuse are
often accused by others of being crazy. With the statement "You are crazy,"
people are able to completely discount and minimize a person's feelings,
thoughts, and behavior. "Oh, that person is just crazy. No one can believe
what he says." The survivor who is told that she is crazy is told that her
reality is not the truth. When a persons reality is denied, she may feel
crazy, but that is very different from actually being psychotic.
You Are Evil ... You Belong with Us
Many groups teach children that they are evil and belong only with the cult
group. They tell children that people outside the group see their "defective,
evil cores." They claim that whenever anything bad happens to the children,
it's because people finally see the black-ness inside their souls. These
children learn that whenever they are victimized by others, they have asked
for the attack in some way. They learn that there is something innately wrong
with them that will never change.
"No one else will ever want you," the cults tell the children. Abused
children believe these lies because they are plagued with self-loathing for
what they were forced to do. Initially, before the children are able to
dissociate from the feelings, the children feel excruciatingly painful
self-resentment, guilt, and self-hate. They know the things they were forced
to do were "bad," and they identify this badness with themselves. The ritual
abuse sets these children apart from people who were not raised in cults. If
the children accept that they are bad, then they can belong somewhere-with
the cult-and not be alone. Sometimes their only hope for acceptance or love
appears to be with other cult members.
You Can Never Make Mistakes
Many violent cults program children to perform violent and non- violent acts
during rituals. Children who make mistakes are se-verely reprimanded. Under
the guise of discipline, cults intimidate children into not thinking about
what the cults are forcing them to do. All the children worry about during
the ritual is whether they are doing the act "right"
This type of intensive structure cuts children off from their own internal
sense of right and wrong. By dictating the children's actions, and then by
threatening the children with violence if they don't comply, the cult is able
to control the childrens thoughts during the abuse. For example, take a child
who is slowly being trained to hold a specific role in the ritual. Each time
the child makes a mistake, the child is tortured. Soon, the child is only
aware of whether she is acting in a way that will keep her from being hurt.
This keeps her from reflecting upon her own feelings and thoughts about what
is happening during the ritual.
in some violent cults, making a mistake is followed by extreme
torture. During the torture, children ask themselves, "Why are they hurting
me? Why?" The simplistic answer in the child's mind is, "Because they don't
like me" For a child, that is the worst pain of all. Wanting to be perfect is
another way of saying I just want to be liked.
We Are Your Family
Survivors are taught that the only life worth living is a life as a member of
the cult. Cults often refer to themselves as family even if they are not
blood relatives. They try to make children feel loyal and dedicated to the
group in the way that most people feel dedicated to their biological
families. Under the guise of "parenting," the cult determines for the
children their present and future behavior.
Survivors who go against the wishes of the cult sometimes feel like failures
for betraying "their family." If survivors choose a life other than the one
the cult has planned for them, sometimes they become plagued with thoughts
like, "I am a failure ... I will never amount to anything." These messages
are placed in the survivors' minds during torture sessions and throughout the
abuse to keep them from ever having enough self-esteem to go against the
desires of the group.
It's Too Late ... There's Nothing You Can Do
Many violent cults tell children that there is no hope and no wayout. Abusers
constantly relay this message to children during torture sessions and
reiterate it when the children are feeling hopeless. For example, an abuser
might put a child's pet on an altar and kill it, after the child has tried
desperately to make the abuser stop. Then the abuser laughs at the sobbing
child and says, "It's over. It's. too late. There is no way out."
In the past, in many ways, the abusers were right. It was too late. Less than
ten years ago, if survivors told of the ritual abuse, they were thrown in
mental hospitals and diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenics. Today, however,
this attitude is changing. Survivors can remember the ritual abuse, and their
own current entrapment and find adequate help. They can reach out for help
and be heard.
Survivors who believe there is no escape from the pain feel completely
helpless. As children, they couldn't stop the abuse, no matter how loudly
they cried or screamed. As adults, they may have watched their own children
being tortured or killed, unable to stop what was happening. The cults teach
their members that they have no control of what happens around them, that
their behavior has no effect on their environment. Survivors learn that no
matter what they do, they are doomed to receive more pain. This learned
helplessness may prevent survivors from being able to leave the group as
adults.
You're a Fool
Ritual abusers hurt the people, animals, and toys that the children love.
Children who try to protect the things they love, or who act on their
feelings to help and give to others, are ridiculed and mocked. For example,
the abusers may deliberately set up a situation in which the child believes
one of the cult members is going to protect her and love her. The child loves
the savior adult and takes action to protect the adult from harm. When the
child tries to protect the adult, the adult turns on the child and start to
laugh at her. The adult says he likes to be hurt, and that the child is a
fool to try to protect him. The child feels confused and betrayed. The
message she receives is that she is a fool if she ever tries to help another
person. They teach a memorable lesson: that just like her, her love or help
is tainted and dirty.
Cults always make fun of the positive expression of love. People are mocked
when they express their love for other cult members, and they are taught that
no one in the cult is capable of loving another human being. They also dont
believe that anyone could honestly love a member of the cult, because they
see their own internalized shame and disgust in other people. They believe
they are all too "evil" to be loved. Love, however, is what allows cult
members the ability to fight the pain and programming of the cult. Making
survivors feel like fools when they love other people keeps survivors from
feeling the strength that comes from the power of love. If they never feel
the strength that is found in lovein the ability to feel-then they will have
difficulty breaking free of the cult.
No One Will Ever Love You
The cults tell the children that they will never be loved by anyone, that
they are tainted and messed up inside, and that anyone who gets close to them
will see their "dirtiness". For example, as a child complies with the wishes
of his abusers and hurts a helpless crea-ture, an abuser might turn to a
friend of the child's and say, "Look at him! Look at him!" meaning, look at
how "evil" and "disgusting" your friend has become. This causes the child who
complied with the abusers to feel that his close friend has now seen his
"dirty, evil core."
The cults tell the children these lies in order to bond them to the group.
People who feel they will never be loved experience life as utterly and
completely meaningless. This gives the cults the opportunity to control every
aspect of the victim's life. If the victims no longer care what happens, then
the cults can make them do whatever they want.
Survivors of ritual abuse feel this ache for love, which they often identify
as the reality that they have never been loved. It is a painful and
devastating thought. However, there may be times when people feel angry at us
or not even care whether we live or die, but everyone has been loved, if at
least for a moment.
The pain identified by survivors as the reality that they were "never loved"
is a deep realization of the isolated lives they had to endure because of the
ritual abuse. Each survivor knows there are places deep inside that no
one-except for someone else who has been abused in a cult-could understand.
And many times those who have also been ritually abused are drowning in their
own pain and are unable to provide her with the support she needs. The
survivor needs a nurturing love that she believes she will never find. This
deep knowledge that her needs may never be met fits with the cult's message
that "No one will ever love you!" because that may be how it feels to not
have your needs met.
You Are So Special
Children in many violent cults are programmed to feel special and superior to
other human beings. They are given specific roles within the group that are
most suited to their personalities. These children often are told that they
are a goddess, Jesus, or some other important figure. For example, at a
ritual a little girl may be dressed up in a fancy costume and told she is a
goddess who has a message for the world. She is told that ordinary human
beings will never understand her. This form of brainwashing is a deep and
devastating betrayal of a child's need to feel loved. It keeps the child from
ever feeling connected to other human beings.
Young children naturally feel special. Children love to fantasize that they
are the queen or king of the land. This natural feeling of specialness is not
the type of specialness we think of as adults, but is based on a deep and
powerful love for oneself It is not about arrogance and power. It is about
wanting to be the most loved and important person in the world, the one who
gets all the good attention. Manipulating this feeling of specialness betrays
the child's love for herself and her desire to be loved by others.
It feels good to be told you are special. When you are truly loved by
someone, you are the most special, the most loved person in the loved ones
life. The programming of being "special" taps into this need to receive
special love and recognition from another person. But to the child's
detriment, this programming is designed to make the child feel superior and
different from other people rather than cherished and wanted.
To add to the confusion, children who are programmed to believe that
they are special are continually reminded as adults that they are mere
members of the group and "no better than any- one else" If an adult member
talks about feeling special, others look down on him. It is taboo in the
cults to toot your own horn. Many violent cults don't want adult members to
feel any self-love or to express any positive feelings toward themselves. If
individual members believed they were special and powerful, they might have
enough strength to go against the group and break free. Cults do not want
their members to feel empowered unless the feelings are controlled and tamed
by the cult belief system.
Each member is torn by a sense of specialness that contradicts their deep
feelings of being "evil" and "unlovable." When anyone reminds them of this
contradiction by sharing their own feelings of specialness, other members
immediately want the person to be silenced.
You Can Save the World
Many violent cults tell their members they can save the world. During a
ritual, for example, the abusers might set up a scene where a small child is
allowed to rescue an animal that is about to be killed. The abusers then tell
her there are many animals suffering in the world that all need her help.
They ask her, "What would you do to save all the animals?" They tell her that
if she figures out how to do it, they will help her. They make her feel that
saving an individual is not important. It is the entire world that must be
changed, and she has the power to do it.
If members believe that they can someday change everything that has ever
caused them pain, they do not feel the pain of their losses. This programming
saves individuals from killing themselves when they do feel hopeless and
trapped in the cult-, it restores the feeling of individual control and
convinces them they can make changes. However, this programming also makes
them believe that they are not only responsible for their own happiness, but
also for the happiness of the entire world. There is no way that any one
single person can change the entire world. This dream of saving the world is
like a soothing narcotic hope, but in reality it prevents people from taking
care of themselves.
Abusers use this programming time and time again to manipulate survivors. if
survivors use this fantasy to suppress their hard-felt grief, they will
inevitably feel a desperate need to protect the fantasy of saving the
world-even if it means sacrificing their own lives.
Hatred for the World
Cults control children by isolating them from the larger society. They make
children feel like they belong to an elite group that will someday have
control of the entire world. They teach them that the cult is right, and that
everyone else in the world is wrong. They view noncult people as weak and
inferior. Their belief systems are based on a deep hatred for all people who
have never been members of the cult.
Most survivors of ritual abuse harbor some resentment for the larger society
that did not protect them. The cults use this justified resentment for
society to bond its members to the group. They make survivors feel completely
isolated and alienated from the larger society. They teach survivors that
there is no place to turn for help. just ten years ago, survivors did not
have a place to turn. Today, things are changing. Survivors who persistently
search for adequate help find it.
If They Find Out, They Will Throw You in jail!
Many violent cults are able to silence children by making them feel
responsible for what happens in the cult. Children are told that if others
knew what they had done in the cult, then people would lock them in a cage.
Sometimes cults even act out scenarios in rituals where they place children
in cages to show them what jail feels like. The children are terrified by
these threats because they know bad people go to jail, and they know they
were forced to do very bad things in the cult. The children become terrified
of the law and of the larger society because they think everyone would hate
them and punish them if they found out what they had done in the rituals. At
the same time, they feel a bitter hatred and resentment for the "law." For
children raised in cults, the laws of the country they live in sometimes seem
like hypocritical laws that protect everyone but them.
When ritually abused children are unable to escape from their abusers, they
are afraid to remember current ritual abuse memories for fear that they might
be put in jail. Many adult ritual abuse survivors who are stuck in cults
today are afraid to try to get out because of this threat. in some ways, the
cults are right. Unfortunately, in a court of law, it is very difficult for
adult ritual abuse survivors charged with ritual abuse to prove they were
brainwashed from childhood to commit the acts. Even if the adults were
tortured from when they were babies never to seek help or tell of the abuse,
it is not regarded as an excuse. It is not an excuse that most of them never
had a choice to become anything other than a "willing" member of the group.
As a result, these survivors once again feel horribly betrayed by the system.
If You Tell, They'll Lock You Up in a Mental Hospital!
Unfortunately, this threat sometimes comes true. It is not uncommon for
survivors to end up in psychiatric hospitals as they remember the abuse. Some
survivors choose to be hospitalized; other survivors are hospitalized against
their will by their therapists because of suicidal feelings or acts.
In the hospitals, survivors are often drugged and treated with grave
disrespect. Few psychiatric hospitals are based on the philosophy of
empowering the patient. Most hospitals frame patients as "mentally ill" or
"unhealthy" as a result of the abuse. They do not address ritual abuse
survivors as people who were severely traumatized as children. Even some of
the hospitals specifically for people with dissociative disorders revictimize
survivors. In these hospitals, the staff treat the "mental illness" of MPD as
opposed to providing a supportive, nurturing environment for the survivors in
which they are able to express the truth of their deep emotional pain in an
empowering manner.
Trauma centers, as opposed to psychiatric hospitals, appear to have a more
empowering philosophy regarding the role of dissociation in the abuse. Trauma
centers are aware that the abuse, not the multiple personalities, is what
causes survivors' pain. Enlightened trauma centers treat the personalities as
the guardians of the truth. Unfortunately, survivors have reported
revictimization even in trauma centers.
Survivors must be cautious as they remember the abuse. They need to find
therapists who will respect their feelings about hospitalization. They need
to remember that therapists cannot legally put their clients in mental
hospitals unless they believe the clients are going to act on feelings to
cause harm to themselves or others. In the case of therapy for ritual abuse
survivors, the threat of hospitalization should not stop survivors from
talking about homicidal or suicidal thoughts or feelings. These feelings are
a common part of remembering ritual abuse, and talking about violent feelings
need not be an indication that survivors intend to act on the feelings.
Survivors must learn early in the process of remembering, through cooperation
and communication in the multiple system, to keep their personalities from
putting the entire system in situations where they might legally require
hospitalization in a revictimizing facility. Personalities can talk about the
suicidal or homicidal feelings, but acting on the feelings is hurtful to the
system as a whole. The personalities must work together to keep them all as
safe as possible.
People Will Think You Are a Child Molester
If survivors can identify with a child and feel a child's pain, then they are
unable to participate in the rituals. Many violent cults teach all members to
be afraid of children because they want the survivors to hate children, to
resent children. This programming is one of the most devastating forms of
programming for survivors because the pain of being forced to abuse children
is perhaps the greatest pain of all. For survivors, it is taking part in what
led them to their own destruction.
In the cult environment, survivors do not have a choice when they are forced
to molest another child. They commit these acts against their will, then they
hate themselves and wish there was a punishment great enough to make the
guilt stop. Many violent cults tell all their members, children and adults,
that if they are seen around children, people will believe they are molesting
children outside of the cult. This programming taps into the survivors' shame
from the ritual abuse. The only way some survivors are able to deal with the
painful thoughts is to avoid children altogether.
Since survivors saw children being abused as they were growing up, sometimes
they feel plagued with thoughts of molestation and child abuse whenever they
are around children. Survivors think there is something innately wrong with
them to make them think such thoughts. But it should be no surprise that
children would remind ritual abuse survivors of their own abuse. The problem
arises when a survivor does not know she has been molested as a child, and
she identifies with the images she has of herself as a "per-vert" In these
cases, the survivor may act on the thoughts of sexual abuse and hurt the
child.
The many forms of programming used by cults go against what society labels as
normal, acceptable thoughts and behavior. This programming is meant to
isolate survivors.
Cults train survivors to keep these programmed thoughts and feelings secret.
During the programming, the survivors are told that these "negative' ways of
thinking are so bad and evil that if other people knew about these "crazy
thoughts," they would hate them and throw them into mental hospitals.
initially, these fear tactics isolate the effects of the programming to
specific personalities that do not participate in the survivors' daily lives.
By isolating these thoughts and feelings, cults are able to train survivors
to look like garden-variety people who have not been traumatized by a violent
cult.
When survivors remember the ritual abuse, these tortured and traumatized
personalities are finally given a chance to speak. The programming then
surfaces in their daily lives because the tortured and traumatized
personalities are no longer isolated to their ritual abuse experience.
Survivors become plagued with all the thoughts and feelings that were placed
in their minds. When survivors understand the effects of programming on their
behavior, they are able to break the programming and make their own choices
about their lives today.
The point of all programming through torture and hypnosis is centered on
forcing the child to rely on the cult. A primary purpose of violent cults is
to recruit new members and to keep the ones they already have. It is
absolutely essential for survivors and their advocates to remember the
intensive and structured brainwashing that is used in the cults to force
these children to commit acts of violence. The children may feel ashamed
because they hurt about what happened, but they were never shameful for what
they were forced to do. Even adults who were brainwashed in cults from the
time they were babies, and who are stuck in cults today due to amnesia, have
a right to acknowledge their own victimization and seek help. Survivors of
ritual abuse who are unconscious of their behavior, and as a result are
unable to make choices without being influenced by this intensive cult
brainwashing, are also victims and deserve a chance to have their pain heard.
pps. 75-102
--[cont]--
Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
Kris
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