Dear Val, I've now read and reread your message (quoted below) several times, and want to thank you for putting this important concept in such clear and tangible terms.
I have just one thing to add: It seems to me that this points to a broader issue that's deeply connected with the social dynamics of collaborative communities that value public communication, and is not restricted to gender-related topics. In the Wikimedia world, we have lots of people who are willing, even eager, to offer help and advise in a wide variety of areas, but that don't feel any special *responsibility* to meet specific expectations for help and advice. So frequently, we encounter frustrations when people seeking help (analogous to your example of men with poor social skills -- but I'm trying to look at it broadly, as "people lacking XYZ skills") encounter some kind of resistance on our projects, and assume that the people around them will take the time to educate them. This dynamic can lead to all kinds of discord, but in many cases, it isn't really any one person's fault. I think this is something worthy of some careful thought, and probably research. It would be great if we could think through how expectations of assistance play out throughout our projects; I suspect that we would start to see some ways to improve not only the gender gap, but perhaps some other general negative dynamics in the movement. -Pete [[User:Peteforsyth]] On Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:33 PM, Valerie Aurora <vale...@adainitiative.org> wrote: > Hi Phoebe, > > Thanks for your thoughtful and carefully explained comment! The > perspective I am coming from here is over 13 years of experience with > spaces for supporting women in open tech/culture, starting with > LinuxChix in 2002. > > A pattern that groups like this have found over and over again is that > a spaces designed to support women in these areas inevitably attract > men with poor social skills, who then ask the group for (unpaid) help > improving their social skills. In most open tech/culture groups, such > requests would be unthinkable, but we are often socialized to expect > women to provide emotional support and help to others (especially men > and children) on request, without consideration for the value of their > time and energy. > > The result is that, without a strong awareness and guarding of the > original purpose of the group, the group dedicates an ever-larger > portion of its time to teaching men social skills. Many of the people > who are interested in the original purpose of the group tend to lose > interest and depart. This is exactly what happened to LinuxChix - our > IRC channel became primarily about counseling various men who had > found a welcoming and supportive environment, and our mailing lists > were more enjoyable and fulfilling for men looking for emotional > boosts than for women looking for a supportive environment where they > could talk about Linux. > > In short, I agree with you that there is some potential benefit to > providing free social skills counseling to men who are interested in > supporting women in open tech/culture. In my experience, the cost is > much greater: the time and emotional energy of many women that could > be used much more effectively on other projects. > > -VAL > > -- > Valerie Aurora > Executive Director > > You can help increase the participation of women in open technology and > culture! > Donate today at http://adainitiative.org/donate/ > > _______________________________________________ > Gendergap mailing list > Gendergap@lists.wikimedia.org > https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap >
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