-Caveat Lector-
an excerpt from:
Ritual Abuse
Margaret Smith©1993
HarperCollins Publishers
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
ISBN 0-06-250214-X
213pps — out-of-print
--[8]--
Chapter 8
Survivor Revictimization and Proposed Solutions
One of the most important aspects of talking about survivor revictimization
is identifying the victimizers. Are they the cult members or part of the
noncult public? If revictimizers are cult members, then they victimize
survivors either because they are acting on orders, or because they can't
handle their own entrapment in the cult. The noncult public revictimizes
survivors because they don't believe survivors. They don't want to hear about
ritual abuse because it scares them. They want to believe they live in a safe
world. They want to send their children to school and church worry-free. They
don't want to know about the corruption. They don't want to believe cults
have power because they would have to change their entire understanding of
the world.
When I first remembered the abuse, I told everyone about my memories. It
never occurred to me that I wouldn't be believed. It never occurred to me
that people wouldn't have compassion for me. Many of my friends said they
believed something bad had happened to me, but they didn't believe the ritual
abuse memories. A few of my friends believed the ritual abuse memories, but
they couldn't believe the prevalence of the problem. It is devastating to
have the memories questioned. Let's put it this way: When I am feeling the
pain of the abuse and someone has the nerve to doubt my memories, it feels
like I am lying there, with bruises up and down my thighs, welts on my rectum
and vagina, while the onlookers determine whether I have a tight to my pain.
Just as devastating as the nonbelievers were the people who believed me,
but who decided I was somehow responsible for what happened. I was judged and
blamed for things I couldn't control. One friend told me she didn't think I
felt guilty enough. She wanted me to scream and cry in remorse for the
violence I was forced to commit. What she didn't realize is that I felt so
guilty when it happened that I stopped feeling at all. I don't accept blame
for what happened to me. I remember how bad it was, and that the society that
is judging me today is the same society that turned its back on me when I was
a child.
Then there were the people who believed me, but who wanted to control my
recovery They wanted to tell me where my wounds were. They wanted to tell me
how to heal. Like the cult, they told me who to love and who to hate. Not
being believed is painful enough. Being blamed for what happened felt as
cruel as cult behavior Trying to tell me how to live my life, and how to
understand the ritual abuse, is every bit as violating as being blamed and
not believed.
Society needs to accept that sometimes people do hurt other people on
purpose. They need to stop pretending they live in a safe world at the
expense of those who are victimized. They need to feel their own pain so that
they can have compassion for those of us who have the courage to face our
pasts. And if they can't handle it, they need to understand that it is their
problem, not ours.
It seems clear from the newspaper reports I have seen linking child molesting
with "Satanic Rituals," that the phenomenology of the Salem witch trials is
being created all over again; that is, innocent adults are being accused by
hysterical children.
Catholic theologian Aidan Kelly[1]
Jeffrey Burton Russell, a historian at U.C. Santa Barbara who has written a
four-volume study of the idea of the devil, sees a parallel between fear of
satanism and the witch trials of the past "brought on by hysteria."... "My
one wish is people would play this down and it will go away."
Los Angeles Times, April 23, 1991
Not only does the general public offer no support to survivors, many
of the people who are supposed to help them don't either. Many survivors are
revictimized as they search for therapists. Most therapists do not believe
children are abused in cults. Some therapists believe ritual abuse happens,
but they are unaware of the prevalence of the problem. When survivors do find
therapists who believe them, skeptics say survivors are led by these
therapists to believe they are ritual abuse survivors. They say being a
satanic ritual abuse survivor is a fad.
Authorities say America is witnessing an epidemic of concern over Satan and
his minions, especially among adherents of fundamentalist Christianity.
So-called ritual abuse is only a part of it. But are these tales of incest
and human sacrifice true? Many mental health experts think not.
Los Angeles Times, April 23, 1991
When ritual abuse is publicly denied, it is extremely painful for the victims
who are trying to recover. Ritual abuse survivors really have two
perpetrators: the cults that violated them, and the society that let it
happen and that today still does not provide them with protection and
compassion. Survivors who share their cult memories are often blamed, looked
down on, or not believed. Three women in this study were told they were
possessed when they revealed their ritual abuse histories. One survivor said
that someone accused her of being in a cult today, and the person reported
her to the police. She wrote:
Sometimes I just hate myself because there aren't a lot of people I can
relate to that have experienced the same things that I have. I just hate
being a cult survivor. It is so lonely. I am a "freak" in society. Everyone
is cautious about making friends with me. One woman in a support group was
afraid that my cult might get her. The terror society has around satanism is
quite intense. I'm glad I'm a multiple. Sometimes the only safe place I have
is within my inner worlds.
Another survivor in the study says,
You cannot tell anyone in this society unless they have been abused
themselves. You're looked down on. We as a society are a long way from
understanding child abuse let alone ritual abuse ... Once a victim, always a
victim, until we can have a voice.
Survivors are not only victimized by the attitude our society has toward
people who were abused, but they are also victimized by clergy and
psychiatrists. Survivors said the following:
I went to a psychiatrist because I was feeling depressed, and began
discussing my childhood. He made statements such as "a trauma occurs, and
then children fantasize about the extent of what occurred." I felt completely
discounted and it made me extremely fearful of discussing it further, since I
was sure no one would believe me. That incident, along with others, was
detrimental to my recovery.
I was given an exorcism by the Catholic church. I don't have evil entities
inside of me—I have multiple personalities! This caused further splitting.
Our society has a long history of victimizing people labeled with psychiatric
disorders. In the sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries, those
designated as mentally ill were locked up in "lunatic asylums," chained,
beaten, and only fed enough food to keep them alive. They were on display for
visitors, as animals are on display in the zoo.[2] One survivor writes:
I feet that these people will always have power and anonymity because the
things they do are so bizarre and terrible. And since there are no bodies or
evidence for proof, society will never believe it does or could exist. We are
the survivors, but still the victims because people want and need absolute
proof Therefore we remain in hiding trying to heal and recover alone. It's
like being a prisoner of war in a war camp, but nobody believes it ever
existed!
I have not yet been able to work because of the intense memories. I am now
seeking employment and have to explain eight months without a job. I can't
say "I was experiencing repressed memories of ritual abuse," so I'll have to
lie. It's been an extreme financial hardship. Therapy costs are enormous, and
I had a hard time even finding a therapy group. Most therapists in the [San
Francisco] Bay Area seem to be pretty enlightened about ritual abuse;
however, there are only two therapy groups (that I could find). When I was
looking for a group, I was told by a therapist of a womens incest-survivors
group that I wouldn't "fit in" and would freak out the other survivors
because of the nature of my abuse. I feel all of this has been further
victimizing to me. Also, I've been in and out of therapy since I was sixteen,
and only now have I found a therapist who understands.... Society is in
almost total denial about ritual abuse, and the resources for survivors just
are not in place.
Most cult survivors learned not to feel their pain. In order to financially
support themselves, they develop multiple personalities that help them
conform to the expectations of those around them. When survivors allow
themselves to feel the pain from the abuse, they are unable to participate in
their daily routine for a significant length of time.
Some survivors never learn to effectively dissociate from the pain of
the abuse. They have never been able to function in society. These survivors
have been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for most of their lives. They
may end up on the streets or on welfare. One therapist I know refers to such
people as "professional multi-ples" Many people have little compassion or
support for those who have the courage to endure the truth of their pasts—a
truth that nat-urally encompasses pain. In our society, no matter what the
excuse emotionally, if you are unable to support yourself financially, you
are judged as a failure. Emotional upheaval is not accepted as an
excuse for financial hardship.
Going to the Police
Survivors in this study who reported the ritual abuse to the police received
a variety of responses from the officers. One survivor said she went to the
police after having just experienced a "rape with bums, torture, times three
with evidence. They disregarded it.. " On the other hand, another woman
reported a series of death threats left on her answering machine, and the
officers took her seriously. They believed her when she told them the threats
were cult-related, and they taught her ways to protect herself Whether
officers believe survivors depends on the department's attitude toward ritual
abuse and on the individual who took the report. Some police departments are
educated about ritual abuse; others are not. Some police officers are
compassionate and helpful; others treat victims with disrespect.
Only 18 percent of the survivors in this study reported the ritual abuse to
the police. Some survivors feared that cult members were in the police force.
One survivor said her father's friends who abused her were judges and the
district attorney. Another survivor reported that her uncle and his brother,
both reported as perpetrators of her ritual abuse, are police officers.
Survivors were also afraid that reporting the abuse to the police would make
them look foolish. Some survivors have self-destructive pasts and are afraid
police officers would point to these chaotic instances in their lives as
proof that they should not be believed. Police officers are supposed to
protect the public. Survivors who seek protection should not be interrogated
as if they had committed a crime. Survivors have a right to be taken
seriously by police officers and by our legal system.
Survivors who speak out say they do so to take a stand against the cruelty
and violence in the cults. One survivor who reported the abuse to the police
said:
My son recently disclosed in therapy that my parents had abused him in some
way. I felt I was strong enough to stand up and tell.
Another woman reported the abuse to the police because:
I believe we survivors can do more damage to their criminal activities and
networkings than anyone else. We know more. I hate knowing there are children
being horribly abused or murdered. I have to do something about this. Who
else will?
Other women who do not trust the police have written books or given
public-awareness talks on ritual abuse. One survivor who speaks openly about
her abuse said:
There is no longer any reason why I would not talk about what happened to me,
Another survivor said:
I talk more openly, since I believe ritual abuse needs to be known about. I
probably take risks doing so, but it gives me someplace to put my rage. I
dont talk if I suspect someone is a perpetrator or an unsafe person.
Each survivor must decide how much and with whom they want to share their
memories. Survivors have a right to talk about the abuse without being
revictimized. Survivors also have a right to remain silent if they don't feel
safe. They have the right to protect themselves from being hurt by people who
don't believe them.
Fear of the Cult
Another reason society hears little about ritual abuse is because many
victims are silenced by threats. Survivors justifiably worry that if they
tell people about the abuse, then the groups may harm them or the people they
love. Fifty-eight percent of the survivors in this study said they don't feel
safe from their abusers today. One woman who was abused well into her
thirties said that the group still watches her.
The hierarchy has a person keeping tabs on me. The less they know, the safer
my family and I will be.
She selectively shares the ritual abuse only with the people she trusts.
Another survivor also spoke in detail about her fears:
Even if there were more understanding I still wouldn't broadcast it because
... I dont want cult people being told, "Hey, I found one. Let's go get her,"
and their trying to use me. I have enough problems with my cult and others in
cults who are trained to spot people like me. It takes them time to figure it
out, and I have no intention of making it easy on them.
Although some survivors in the study felt comfortable with support groups
specifically for ritual abuse survivors, other people said they were afraid
to attend support groups. Some survivors said that in groups specifically for
ritual abuse survivors, the dynamics of the support group started to feel
similar to the dynamics of cults. Some survivors said they met people at
support groups who tried to pull them back into cults. Survivors not only
have to worry about finding a group that allows them to tell the truth of
their pasts, but they also have to worry about meeting cult members who will
access them.
Surviving on a Daily Basis
In the cults, each child is made to feel like a misfit. Each child is at some
point isolated, ostracized, and hurt. Children are ganged up on and
emotionally and physically tormented. There is no sense of justice. It is the
people who don't hurt others, the ones who are vulnerable, who are attacked.
In mainstream society, we see a similar pattern of attacking those who are
vulnerable. Usually, the person who is attacked has been deemed a social
misfit. Most of the time these "misfits" have done nothing to hurt other
people. They are used as the scapegoats for other peoples aggression and
insecurities. Think of the overweight woman, the poor dresser, the nerd in
grade school who was teased maliciously. The misfits who are ganged up on are
usually those who can't stand up for themselves. They are the people with no
friends, who hurt so badly from the attacks that they are unable to take
effective action to rebuff the cruelty.
Seeing victimization in society reminds survivors of the abusive cults.
Sometimes survivors wake up in the morning and don't want to get out of bed.
They fear going out into the world, where they have to wear a shield of armor
that is not all-protecting.
Survivors are keenly aware of the following types of victimizations that
occur on a regular basis in our society. These types of victimizations remind
survivors of the ritual abuse:
o shaming people who are socially inappropriate
o having to witness the mistreatment of a child
o intentionally leaving someone out of a group
o using condescending, judgmental, or critical tones or labels
o exploiting people for sexual gratification or money
o telling people not to feel or what to feel
We each witness, participate in, or are on the receiving end of these types
of behavior every day. These behaviors are not as cruel as ritual abuse; but
when survivors are hurt in these ways, the repressed pain from the ritual
abuse emerges. We cannot shelter ourselves completely from victimizing
behavior. However, we can decrease the pain victimizing behavior causes us by
realizing how the victimization reminds us of times when we were severely
abused.
in the case of ritual abuse survivors, when survivors are unaware of their
pasts and havent felt their repressed pain, their minds are unable to
separate past from the present. When they hear a baby cry, they unconsciously
start to feel the grief they felt as they watched a child tortured or killed
in the cult. Survivors who are healing allow themselves to release their pain
while remembering the abuse scene.
Victimized people have a choice. They can choose to protect themselves from
the cruelty of others. They can accept that there are people in the world who
will take advantage of them. They can learn to hide their feelings from
certain people who may hurt them. if they so choose, they can conform just to
get by. Taking such action should be viewed as an inconvenience, a result of
living in an unsafe world. Not taking action to protect themselves up to this
point should not be viewed as a personal flaw. People should not look down on
survivors or criticize them because the ritual abuse left them as vulnerable
as children. They no more asked for their victimizations than children ask
for theirs.
PROPOSED SOLUTIONS
Professionals in law enforcement and psychology need to be educated about
ritual abuse. Survivors need supportive people in their lives who believe
them and who do not blame them for the abuse. They need to know that our
society as a whole supports them and wants them to seek help. They need to be
reminded that they are not to blame for what happened to them, and they no
longer have to feel ashamed. They no longer need to hide their pain.
Therapy for Survivors
Survivors need affordable therapy. When survivors feel a memory surfacing,
they need to know there is a safe place to go. Support centers must be
available to adults with MPD and posttraumatic stress disorder. These centers
should be designed to provide survivors with support while helping them work
through their memories. Counselors should be available on a walk-in basis and
by appointment. Such centers must be safe from cult infiltration. Survivors
also need overnight centers where they can turn for emotional support when
their memories are too overwhelming to process in a single day.
Public Outcry
Our society denies ritual abuse because acknowledging it forces us to take
action. Most of us cannot live with the knowledge that we allow people to
suffer. We want to be able to help. We want to be able to make a difference.
Public outcry is the most influential force in this country. Support the
people who come forward to speak the voice of the wounded child. Don't deny
it. Do what you can in your own comer of the world to make the world a safer
place. Violence and vindictive judgment is not what will stop ritual abuse.
Violence is what caused ritual abuse in the first place. Only worldwide
programs to protect and empower children will stop ritual abuse.
Is It Discipline or Abuse?
Our country has a difficult time upholding the laws against child abuse
because we are confused about the difference between discipline and physical
abuse. Discipline is supposed to benefit children. it teaches them
self-control. Abuse, on the other hand, occurs when adults misuse their power
in ways that violate children. Physical child abuse is legally defined as any
assault against a child that leaves a mark. Under the guise of discipline,
many parents have broken this law.
Education
Children need to know their rights. They need to know adults do not have a
free license to do whatever they like with them. Children need to be aware
that acts such as beating children, confining children in small places, and
molesting children are all against the law. Children need to be encouraged to
tell someone if adults are breaking the "rules." A good first step might be a
mandatory video describing what is abuse that is shown in schools annually.
The message needs to be clear: This country does not support violence against
children. Children who are being abused must know that there are people in
this world who care about them and want to help.
All people who come in contact with children should be formally educated on
the symptoms of child abuse. in order to standardize reporting practices,
professionals working with children could use a standard form any time they
see a child who shows symptoms of abuse. Each symptom of abuse could have a
point value. For example, a physical mark explained by a sketchy story could
have a high point value; class disruptiveness could have a lower point value.
When the point total reached a certain number, the professionals would be
required by law to file a report. Such a form would need to be reviewed
periodically to ensure its reliability and validity.
Therapy for Abusers
People convicted of child abuse must be required by law to attend long-term
therapy. That is the only way the cycle will be stopped. The therapy must be
structured to confront the following topics. First, abusers must be forced to
listen to the perspective of victims. They must be required to face adult
survivors expressing their feelings of rage about how their lives were stolen
from them by their abusers. The abusers must see the pain their acts have
caused victims.
Second, the abuser and his or her therapist must talk about how the abuse has
and will adversely affect the abuser's victims: The abuser must not be
allowed to dissociate from the physical and emotional pain he or she caused
another human being.
Third, therapist and client need to address the abuser's childhood, which was
probably filled with trauma and abuse. Through this process, abusers learn
that they were vulnerable as children and that their own abuse has caused
them the problems they are having today, the greatest of which is their
abusive patterns.
Therapy should also address any current life problems that may be causing
stress. Abusers attack children for the same reasons alcoholics take a drink:
to avoid painful emotions. Confronting current problems helps the abuser
minimize that stress.
Finally, abusers must learn skills that will help them change their lives.
They need to learn how to redirect their abusive impulses and how to begin to
be in healthy relationships.
Our country must provide abused children with protection and support. In
order to protect children from abuse, we must have a system that truly
protects them and empowers them toward healing.
CONCLUSION
Most of the people in violent cults were probably raised in them and are
unable to get out due to trauma or amnesia. The adults who want to leave need
a way out. The adults who don't want to leave need to be forced out.
If we actively attack the problem of child abuse, we actively attack the
cults. The cult abusers of tomorrow are the abused children who yearn for our
help today. if we protect them, we stop the cycle of ritual abuse.
NOTES
1. Quoted in Arthur Lyons, Satan Wants You (New York: The Mysterious Press),
160.
2. B. R. Hergenhahn, An Introduction to the History of Psychology (Belmont,
CA: Wadsworth, 1986), 319-20.
pps. 171-182
--[cont]--
Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
Kris
DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER
==========
CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic
screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters
and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright
frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects
spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL
gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers;
be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and
nazi's need not apply.
Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
========================================================================
Archives Available at:
http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html
http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/
========================================================================
To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Om
