Author: miriam
Date: 2014-03-06 02:24:02 +0000 (Thu, 06 Mar 2014)
New Revision: 14957

Modified:
   packages/trunk/glamour/debian/control
   packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.6
   packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.desktop
Log:
Changed a lot of text. Fixed some typos.



Modified: packages/trunk/glamour/debian/control
===================================================================
--- packages/trunk/glamour/debian/control       2014-03-06 01:53:08 UTC (rev 
14956)
+++ packages/trunk/glamour/debian/control       2014-03-06 02:24:02 UTC (rev 
14957)
@@ -9,20 +9,20 @@
 Package: glamour
 Architecture: all
 Depends: python, ${misc:Depends}, fonts-dustin, fonts-freefont-ttf, 
fonts-liberation
-Description: beautiful 2D game with princesses for young girls
- In this beautiful strategy game targeted to girls age 8 to 12, each
- participant will take control of a princess from a fairy tale. You
- must walk through the kingdom collecting shoes, dresses and makeup
- to use at the balls, but must be careful: the fashion is always changing.
+Description: beautiful game in which you have to take control of a princess
+ In this beautiful 2D strategy game where each participant will take control
+ of a princess from a fairy tale. You must walk through the kingdom collecting
+ shoes, dresses and makeup to use at the balls, but must be careful: the 
fashion
+ is always changing.
  .
  You play Maddeline, a young girl on her sweet sixteen, who will walk the
  whole town looking for the perfect outfit. You will need to avoid getting
  you look ruined by the dirty dogs and the bad language of the Viking man.
- Watch out not to get late. Avoid playing with the butterflies.
+ Don't be late! Avoid playing with the butterflies!
  .
  With a lot of strategy, a bit of luck and the right look, you'll be
  glamorous at the ball. And maybe even get the heart of the charming
- prince.
+ prince. The game has also some very nice graphics and music. 
  .
- The game has some very nice graphics and music. It was made after a board
- game with the same name.
+ Glamour is the electronic version of a table-top game with the same name,
+ that can also be downloaded and printed freely by anyone.

Modified: packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.6
===================================================================
--- packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.6     2014-03-06 01:53:08 UTC (rev 
14956)
+++ packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.6     2014-03-06 02:24:02 UTC (rev 
14957)
@@ -1,27 +1,29 @@
 .TH "Glamour" "6" "" "" ""
 
 .SH "NAME"
-glamour \- 2D strategy game targeted to girls age 8 to 12
+glamour \- 2D strategy game for kids aged 8 to 12
 
 .SH "DESCRIPTION"
-In this beautiful strategy game targeted to girls age 8 to 12, each 
participant will take control of a princess from a fairy tale. You must walk 
through the kingdom collecting shoes, dresses and makeup to use at the balls, 
but must be careful: the fashion is always changing.
+In this beautiful strategy game, targeted to kids about 8 to 12 years old, 
each participant will take control of a princess from a fairy tale. You must 
walk through the kingdom collecting shoes, dresses and makeup to use at the 
balls, but must be careful: the fashion is always changing.
 
 With a lot of strategy, a bit of luck and the right look, you'll be glamorous 
at the ball. And maybe even get the heart of the charming prince.
 
-The game has some very nice graphics and music. It was made after a board game 
with the same name. You can download the board game from 
http://ocastudios.com/bronze/glamour
+The game has some very nice graphics and music. It was made after a board game 
with the same name. You can download and print it freely from 
http://ocastudios.com/bronze/glamour
 
 .SH "USAGE"
-You play Maddeline, a young girl on her sweet sixteen, who will walk the whole 
town looking for the perfect outfit. You will need to avoid getting you look 
ruined by the dirty dogs and the bad language of the Viking man.
+You are Maddeline, a young princess just turned 16. Now you're old enough to 
attend the royal balls and your fairy godmother will help you get ready for the 
most exciting dances.
 
-Watch out not to get late. Avoid playing with the butterflies.
+You will have to walk the whole town looking for the perfect outfit. Watch out 
your way while walking around this amazing city full of filthy foes. They may 
harm your look. You wouldn't like to reach the ball all covered with dirt. 
Don't be late! Avoid playing with the butterflies!
 
+Visit the Make-up, Shoe, Dress and Accessory Castle to find the most beautiful 
outfits and win the Prince Charming heart.
+
 .SH "AUTHORS"
-All programming and art are public domain, released so by us, their authors.
+All programming and art are public domain. The music, however, comes in a 
variety of free licenses. They can be used and altered, even commercially, but 
credit MUST be given. Special thanks to http://www.jamendo.com, from where most 
of our music cames from.
 
-The musics, however, comes in a variety of free licenses. They can be used and 
altered, even commercially, but credit MUST be given. Special thanks to 
http://www.jamendo.com, from where most of our music came.
-
 And then there are the fonts: Gentesque, by Paulo Silva, is in OpenFont 
License while Chopin Script, by Diogene, is in Public Domain (hurray!).
 
+The original Arial font used in the game has been replaced by Liberation Sans 
in Debian.
+
 If you are a developer of free content, please consider the limitations the 
varying "free licenses" impose on derivative works. Tons (or better yet, Teras) 
of cultural content, as images, music and fonts that are "free" are quite 
unuseable due to legal and procedural restraints (we just cannot give credit to 
every bit of data we'll use). "Free for personnal use, but not commercial", 
"free for use, but not to alter" and/or "free for use, but not to distribute" 
hinders freedom, and equals "free as in beer, not as in speech". Giving credit 
to a music used is fair and doable, but not to the recording of step sounds, 
for example, or other minuscule but necessary files. Please help us spread and 
create upon your work by releasing it either in public domain or in GPL - avoid 
semi-free, non-standard and multiple-standard licenses. These just end up 
torturing developers with pages of sad and unfortunate license disclaimers... 
such as this.
 
 want to congratulate or complain? do it to glam...@ocastudios.com

Modified: packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.desktop
===================================================================
--- packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.desktop       2014-03-06 01:53:08 UTC 
(rev 14956)
+++ packages/trunk/glamour/debian/glamour.desktop       2014-03-06 02:24:02 UTC 
(rev 14957)
@@ -1,10 +1,10 @@
 [Desktop Entry]
 Type=Application
 Name=Glamour
-GenericName=Game for young girls
-GenericName[es]=Juego para niñas pequeñas
-Comment=Beautiful 2D strategy game targeted to girls age 8 to 12
-Comment[es]=Precioso juego en 2D girigido a niñas entre 8 y 12 años
+GenericName=Game for young kids
+GenericName[es]=Juego para niñas y niños pequeños
+Comment=Take control of a princess and be the most glamorous at the ball
+Comment[es]=Controla a una princesa y sé la más glamurosa del baile
 Icon=glamour
 Exec=glamour
 Terminal=false


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