Hi everyone, I haven't written to this list in a long time and also I apologize if I am taking this out of context or anything but I had to pipe in when I saw this statement from (I believe it was) Dani: "The man is the predator, the woman is the prey, as has been since time immemorial " First of all, I am not going to argue that the above statement might be the opinion of some. But I think it's a really narrow minded way of looking at the complexity of the relationship between men and women. And it inspires me to address what I often find to be a misconceived view of the relationship between the leader and follower in tango. Sometimes I have found that men get on these power trips about leading and neglect to acknowledge the true fact that the follower has an equal amount of influence on the dance and that it is truly a partnership. Even the most machismo men can not deny the powerful role of the follower. Here are a couple of things to consider about the role of the follower and her power to influence the dance: 1. It is the woman's choice who she dances with. She allows herself to be approached or not, she selects whether or not to catch a man's gaze. I would go so far as to say that most of the time it is really the woman doing the asking with her posture and eye contact and not really the other way around. 2. The follower is in control of the dance. Without someone who has agreed to follow you, there can be no lead. There is nothing "prey"-like about this and it is a completely conscious and active choice on the part of the follower. Without her trust and response your lead means nothing. Also, the way in which she interprets the lead is her choice, so as a leader you have to be aware of and open to the possibilities she presents. 3. The follower has an extremely influential role in the expression of musicality. Her timing, responsiveness, and the manner in which she executes the movements which are lead are all completely her responsibility. Also, the spaces in between what you lead are hers to play with. The best dances happen when both the leader and follower are striving to make the dance delicious for the other person while confidently expressing their personal uniqueness in a warm and trusting embrace. Be kind to one another. Don't confuse femininity and masculinity with weak and strong or predator and prey. -Razorgirl
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