Friday, September 2nd,
2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our
helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded
in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced
all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in
a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all
our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type
of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come
they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in
south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my
head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died
and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the
weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did
anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know
how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and
mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the
day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego
to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this --
after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your
finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those
who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps
of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row.
You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees,
there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had
a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally
left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force
One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could
catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a
bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there
done that.
There will be those who
will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have
your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky
scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of
Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore
them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual
about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that
stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just
stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in
poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town.
C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can
you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me
laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr.
Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there.
Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
P.S. That annoying mother,
Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of
the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities
along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them<about:blank> before they
get to DC on September 21st.
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