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If for some strange reason you wish to leave us know that you will be missed
As the shock from Art Teele’s dramatic suicide begins to fade
and details of his final thoughts emerge, an entire community is compelled to
confront and come to terms with some uncomfortable realities. Some issues are
already in the throws of heated debate, however, there is one issue which looms
large, but speaks quietly, as if still hiding in the closet:
Homophobia. While a number of factors contributed to Teele’s decision to
take his own life, it is most disconcerting that his final conversation with
popular columnist Jim Defede focused on being “deeply upset” at allegations of a
sexual tryst with another man and how those allegations leveled a “devastating
impact” on his college bound son. Art Teele was literally embarrassed to death,
not by what he did, but by what he imagined his supporters would think about
him, given their attitudes towards homosexuality. While the feet of the sensationalist media and malicious
prosecution are rightfully held to the fire for the extent to which their
misdeeds contributed to Teele’s fatal decision, any honest analysis will
demonstrate this equation has at least two parts. The first, and obvious, part
is the media and police focus on Teele’s personal life. The second part of the equation is less obvious, but no less
important: the real and perceived reaction of the public, including- no,
especially- the reaction of his friends, to allegations he
was with another man. Teele was embarrassed because he feared so much of the
public, including his supporters, were condemning and spiteful towards people
identified as or accused of being gay. Teele feared that those who supported him through the years,
in good times and in bad, would somehow look at him differently if they thought
those stories true. While the media is to blame for making private matters
public, many of his own supporters are to blame for making him feel he would be
abandoned in the face of those allegations. Accusations of infidelity with women were plentiful, but they
failed to elicit either humiliation from Teele or outrage from his supporters,
even among the clergy. God found the crime of adultery so fundamental, that it
was granted special status as part of the Ten Commandments. Yet, this capital
transgression is apparently more easily forgiven by mankind than homosexuality,
a religious misdemeanor, as it were. It seems that if the crime is cheating on
one’s spouse, the rundown of who, when and how are mere details. However, in the
inverse logic of homophobia, the cheating itself is a mere detail, trumped by
the more sensational prospect of the gender of the cheatee. Teele’s fears and suspicions did not developed in a vacuum,
but as he engaged in conversations, overheard small talk, listened to opinions
and was preached to from the pulpit. His fear of the power of homophobia was
informed by the attitudes he witnessed. Make no mistake about it, when you make homophobic remarks or
jokes, you directly contribute to the atmosphere which produced the sense of
shame engulfing Teele. As you made those remarks, someone, maybe even the one
joking with you, was made to feel they would rather be dead than to have you
think they were gay. While it is easy, and correct, to blame the media for their
part, the fact is that you too contributed to the “devastating impact” often
associated with being outted, and deserve your very own piece of the
blame. The stigma attached to homosexuality is a completely social
invention. The great works of any official is in no way compromised simply
because he has relationships with other men. Conversely, the failures of those
officials are neither magnified nor attributable to their sexual
preferences. It is devastating to ponder the sense of shame and isolation
which consumes countless other people- human beings with feelings, sensitivities
and frailties, and the role we each play in fostering that shame and building
that isolation. Potential is limited, dreams are halted and lives are cut short
because of the shame we collectively build. Regardless of the veracity of the allegations- and, for the
record, most of us could care less- the notion that someone could even consider
taking his own life in part because others thought he was gay speaks very poorly
of this society and offers an unsettling glimpse into the psyche of many people
living closeted lives, in fear of their own personal expose. The connection between homophobia and Art Teele’s suicide is
real and we are forced to either deal with this uncomfortable subject now or
watch as it plays out again later. | ||||
