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From http://www.freemalaysia.com ================================= I, (NRIC no: ), being of a certain age and statuesque body, do hereby solemnly and sincerely declare as follows: 1. On a date that is not important because it subsequently will be amended several times, I heard of may have been involved in believe I am convinced of could have witnessed a despicable act of corruption treason titillating sex improper use of solvents I am coming forward now because I only recently found the time realized it is wrong to do bad things sobered up attended Ummi's seminar . No matter how all this appears, I am not making this statement because I am under any pressure whatsoever or because it looks like I may make a lot of money I have been caught doing something bad I am plain daft I crave publicity I am under the influence of narcotics it is obviously politically expedient for me I'm facing hard time . 2. I now wish to formally denounce the perpetrator of this despicable act, who is none other than: the assembled keADILan leadership Anwar Ibrahim Wan Azizah Ismail my neighbour on the left my manager, lah Sabri Zain . I make this statement solely to clear my conscience and to serve justice in its purest form. I sincerely hope this puts my action in the proper perspective for the public and makes them believe what I say. I also trust this will protect me from lawsuits, deliver me from the vengefulness of anyone I have wrongfully accused, and provide an excuse if I ever am held accountable for my words. 3. In addition and in order to be fair to myself in this, I would state that as a power junkie civil servant flunkie corporate crony whatever , I only did as I was instructed, believing that it was for the good of the nation the race the prime minister the economy . I now realize that I was easily used and manipulated - but that's definitely not the case at the present time. 4. Before I move on to the details of the heinous crimes revealed in this declaration, I would like to take the opportunity to call upon all freedom-loving and independent-minded Malaysians to vote for Barisan Nasional. After all, if it weren't for the government, we would not all be where we are today, myself included. Ahem. 5. Here are the details of my allegations: (Hints: describe instances of meetings with foreign agents, kinky sex, and the transfer of huge sums to any business or person believed to be affiliated with the target. Remember: sums should always be in billions; check you math when converting to foreign currencies; be vague about dates. And always, always describe the SB goon at your press conference as a "close family friend.") 6. I have reason to believe that the government is already aware of these wrongdoings. They also have full knowledge of where all the money is to find the photographs to look for semen stains Soh Chee Wen is hiding to put this declaration . Hence, I do not actually have any supporting documents with me. But now that I have brought this to the public attention, we can all rest assured that this matter will be resolved appropriately. In other words, this is just about the last we will ever hear of it. 7. Most solemnly subscribed, freeMalaysia Statutory Declaration Bot v1.02b |
