Yes, I think this is something we can use as our foundation with some minor 
changes as suggested by Christian. Overall, this looks as a good document.



________________________________
From: christian.jacque...@orange.com <christian.jacque...@orange.com>
Sent: Monday, May 29, 2017 7:49 AM
To: adr...@olddog.co.uk; i2nsf@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [I2nsf] comments about I2NSF framework draft://Progress with 
draft-ietf-i2nsf-framework-05

Hello WG,

I agree with Adrian that this document looks sound overall. Here's a few minor 
comments/questions for clarification/nits from my side.

1. Section 1 (end of first paragraph):
* Not sure I understand what lies beneath the "internal functionality" of NSFs 
- wouldn't "capabilities" be sufficient?

2. Section 3.2 (bottom of page 6):
* The "Hence, this abstraction..." sentence reads a bit fuzzy and complicated 
to me. Did you mean: "Hence, this abstraction enables NSF features (or a subset 
thereof) to be treated as building blocks by an I2NSF system: thus, 
developers..."? If so, I would rephrase accordingly.
* I would suggest s/Interface to flow-based NSFs/interfaces to flow-based NSFs" 
(top of page 7)
* s/dedcribed/described
* Expand DOTS (Distributed-Denial-of-Service Open Threat Signaling) and provide 
a reference to the DOTS architecture draft
* It seems to me there is a slight overlap between the Monitoring and the 
Notification I/F Groups, since the former explicitly indicates that the I/F 
could be a report-based I/F, whereas the latter is meant to receive 
notification events, which could be seen as a specific instantiation of 
reports. Besides, upon receipt of a notification or a report (in the case of 
the Monitoring I/F Group), the controller may take actions accordingly. Maybe 
one option to clarify this would consist in merging both groups with the 
appropriate elaboration about reports and notifications?

3. Section 3.3 (bottom of page 7):
* s/An NSF's capabilities/NSF capabilities

4. Section 4 (middle of page 8)
* s/usermay/user may
* Not sure what is meant by "the while provider platform - the whole I2NSF 
system? If so, I would be more specific.
* The "The authentication between the user..." sentence (bottom of page 8) 
reads strange to me and introduces a qualitative comment which I believe out of 
scope. Did you mean: "Mutual authentication between ISNF users and the ISNF 
system (or a subset of the NSF functions it controls) is required to reduce the 
risk of NSF-targeted (DDoS) threats." I also think that this notion of NSF 
attestation should be clarified, especially when a user is not cleared to 
perform such attestation (but may be granted access to some NSFs for the 
enforcement of his/her security policy. Likewise, An NSF instance 
(configuration) may be altered because the I2NSF system made a decision, e.g., 
according to a network-originated event but without jeopardizing the behavior 
of the said NSF: what becomes the value of the attestation in that context? I 
think this last sentence of section 4 should be either carefully developed 
(possibly in a specific section) around the notions of user clearance, user 
profiles, attestation, global consistency of the I2NSF system, or deleted.

5. Section 6.1:
* s/maybe/may be (top of page 10, first paragraph)

6. Section 6.2:
* s/used/by using (bottom of page 10)
* s/trusted channels as described in the previous section/the trusted 
connection mentioned in Section 6.1

7. Section 6.3:
* The statement of the first bullet can also apply to physical NSFs: I fail to 
see why vNSFs differ from that standpoint.
* s/polices/policies (second bullet)
* s/Policies to one vNSF/Policies enforced by one vNSF instance
* The cluster design depicted in Figure 2 suggests a few lines about the need 
for global consistency, and especially coordination between NSF managers of 
different clusters, especially when a same vNSF (instance) may be invoked by 
both NSF managers.

8. Section 7:
* s/etc/etc. (bottom of page 12)
* I would delete "simple" in the last sentence of the section
* s/specify/specific (before "profile")

9. Section 7.1:
* I would delete "simple" before "user" (bottom of page 13) and would rephrase 
the sentence like: "I2NSF user flow policies should have a similar structure as 
NSF policies, but with user-specific semantics (e.g., description of the packet 
contents, description of the ECA-based rules, etc.)."
* s/IPSec/IPsec (bottom of page 13)

10. Section 8:
* s/resource/resources (bottom of page 15)
* I would rephrase the "Therefore, it is very important..." sentence as: "It is 
therefore required that the I2NSF system supports dynamic discovery 
capabilities as well as a query mechanism so that the I2NSF system can expose 
the security services and their corresponding parameters it supports to the 
user, possibly yielding negotiation capabilities between the user the I2NSF 
system provider (or security service provider). Such dynamic negotiation 
between a user (including a 3rd party) and the I2NSF system provider is meant 
to facilitate the delivery of the required security service: the outcomes of 
such negotiation would indeed feed the I2NSF computation logic to dynamically 
allocate NSF resources and enforce security policies that accommodate the user 
requirements."

11. Section 10:
* I would remove "i.e., the last bullet listed above" part of the sentence.

12. Section 11:
* I would rephrase the first sentence as "NSF control and monitoring demand 
trustworthy, robust and fully secured access."

Cheers,

Christian.

-----邮件原件-----
发件人: I2nsf [mailto:i2nsf-boun...@ietf.org] 代表 Adrian Farrel
发送时间: 2017年5月19日 1:49
收件人: i2nsf@ietf.org
主题: [I2nsf] Progress with draft-ietf-i2nsf-framework-05

Hi WG,

I am about to do a document shepherd review prior to starting a WG last call. 
In conversation with Linda just now I think I spotted a few areas where I am 
going to make chunky suggestions for additional text, but overall the document 
looks sound.

If you care deeply about this work and haven't looked at the framework for a 
while, now would be a good time. Don't wait for WG last call.

Thanks,
Adrian



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