>How to shower like a Woman: >> >> 1. Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning cos >> there was a distinct chill in the air due to the temperature dropping >> below 33 degrees. >> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you >> see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh >> immediately, ignore his juvenile turban gags and then rush to bathroom. >> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so >> that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. >> 4. Turn on the hot water only. >> 5. Get in the shower, once you have found it through all that steam. >> 6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and >> pumice stone. >> 7. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added >> vitamins. >> 8. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added >> vitamins. >> 9. Wash your hair once more with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo >> with 83 >> added vitamins. >> 10. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced >> with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. >> 11. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes >> until red raw. >> 12. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. >> 13. Complain bitterly when you realize that your boyfriend/husband has >> once again been eating your Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. >> 14. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as >> you must make sure that it has all come off). >> 15. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be >> bothered, and anyway the hair helps keep you warm. >> 16. Slick hair back and pretend you're like Bo Derek in 10. >> 17. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you >> get a rush of cold water. >> 18. Turn hot water on full and rinse off. >> 19. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country. >> 20. Check entire body for the remotest sign of an out-of-place hair. >> Attack with nails/tweezers if found. >> 21. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If >> you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh >> immediately, ignore his juvenile turban gags and then rush to bedroom. >> >> How To Shower Like a Man: >> >> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them >> in a pile on the floor. >> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your girlfriend/wife >> along the way, flash her. >> 3. Try to find a dry place to put your towel, as your girlfriend/wife >> had her shower before you. >> 4. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see >> if you have pecs. (no) >> 5. Turn on the water. >> 6. Check for pecs again. (no) >> 7. Get in the shower. >> 8. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one) >> 9. Wash your face. >> 10. Wash your armpits. >> 11. Wash your dick and surrounding area. >> 12. Wash your ass. >> 13. Eat some of your girlfriend/wifes Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body >> wash! >> 14. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner) >> 15. Make a shampoo Mohawk. >> 16. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror. >> 17. Pee >> 18. Rinse off and get out of the shower. >> 19. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your >> girlfriend/wife, flash her. >
