On Wed, Jan 15, 2020 at 17:39 ToddAndMargo via perl6-users < perl6-us...@perl.org> wrote:
> On 2020-01-15 14:18, Elizabeth Mattijsen wrote: > > Thank you Richard for this long and thoughtful answer. > > > > I have already given up on Todd, I'm glad to see others haven't (yet). > What will follow is probably a response that is either: a. everybody is > against me, b. the Raku community won't listen, c. the various variations > on those themes. I sincerely hope that I'm wrong. > > > > Liz > > Hi Liz, > > Richard has not liked me for a long time. There > is really not anything I can do about it but > maybe wait him out. I can say the sky is a lovely > shade of blue and he would find something offensive > in the remark. And there’s another example of exactly the sort of things Richard brought up. How about: “I feel like Richard has not liked me for a long time, and that there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel like I could say almost anything and he would find something offensive about it.” If you feel you must make such statements, frame them from their correct perspective—as coming from your feelings, not as objective fact—and drop the hyperbole (“I can say the sky is a lovely shade of blue”) and gamesmanship (“not anything I can do... but maybe wait him out”). > > "a. everybody is against me, b. the Raku > community won't listen, c. the various variations > on those themes" > > Uhhhh. I complain about the documentation and the > difficulty in try to get it fixed. The rest of Raku, > I absolute adore and have said so, so many times > that I fear I am being tiresome. > > And the "everybody is against me" remark is in your > head. I have NEVER said anything like this. Complaining > about the state of the documentation is not complaining > that everyone is against me. Again, you seem to be missing the matter of perspective. Stating, as objective fact, that the documentation is in a poor state, is written badly, “seems designed to confuse”, etc., can only be heard, by its authors, as a judgment of them—the documentation did not just appear on GitHub one day from nowhere. > And I even like you too. You help me with things > and you don't even like me. That is a good character > trait on your part. I will wear you down eventually. A statement like this, in this context, does not appear magnanimous as it seems you meant it to be. It can only be so if you show some modicum of contrition first, which you have not—you’ve simply stated as fact that you have done nothing wrong. I have not devoted the time or energy this time into pulling down and grepping your emails as I did once before (since a data-based approach didn’t appear to help then, why should I go to the effort?), but I’d in general observe that you seem to: a) consistently state as bald fact your impressions of the internal states of other people, and b) consistently state as bald fact your own opinions without marking them as even potentially wrong. A few “I think that...”, “I’ve noticed that...”, “From reading X it seems like...” would do a world of good here. Coming to grips with what IS simple fact—that none of us have direct access to others’ mental states—and adjusting your statements about others accordingly would do another world of good. No, I’m not talking about artificially puffing up your language; that would help no more than your artificially-hyperbolized reference to JJ helped anything after previously calling him a dog. I’m talking about a perspective shift in your writing, thinking about the source of knowledge and opinions you (believe) you have and stating that knowledge or opinion acknowledging that basis, rather than writing yourself as the omniscient narrator in all things. Trey
