>>I have done some decoding on Mr. Schwump's name and I think I may have hit on something. When I unscrambled the name Schwump, I came up with W.S. Chump. Maybe this is his real name and the writers of TAGS scrambled it to hide his true identity. Ken Anderson.<<
Ken, you seem to be asking questions about some of my favorite subjects lately. I had a theory about where the name came from. I wrote this 2-3 years ago when a new guy named Randy came to the Digest. He asked about our favorite topic of late, Mr. Schwamp. Here's what I said then, and I stand by the theory. Obviously I'm on the side of keeping the mystery. As I've said before, and someone said yesterday, he is our "old Sam" If you can't tell, this is in the spirit of "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus". (Just one note on the spelling. It was spelled with an A in the script, according to one of the book authors, so that's why I spell with an A.) Well Randy, Welcome to the club, in more than one way. Welcome to all the new members who have joined. Looks like some right nice folks, and awesome Andy fans. Those are the kind of members we got here at our Esquire Clu...I mean at the Digest. Randy, your question caught my eye, because with your first question, you have hit upon the holy grail of Mayberry mysteries. You might as well have asked what Opie's mother looked like. You are as likely to get an answer to that as you are to what Sarah looked like with a pinch of snuff in her cheek. You're more likely to find a photograph of the spirit of Count Istvan Telecky. Why you might as well wonder if Barney's Juanita at the Diner was a blonde from a bottle or how Gomer mysteriously only knew about gas oil air and water one day, and was a genius mechanic the next. Yes Randy, there is a Santa Claus...er I mean there is a Schwamp and he is real. There is no actor behind the man as far as any of us knows. Now don't get me wrong, this is a right smart bunch of people and there are a whole bunch of "trained noticer's" Why they can tell you how many times Barney's hair went from combed to mussed up and back again while he was reciting the preamble to the constitution. They can tell you when the film negative got turned around and Andy's hair appeared parted on the wrong side. They can name every girlfriend seen and unseen that Andy or Barney ever had. They can name Background Actors from Bob McQuain to Mary Lansing to Allan Melvin, to Joe Hamilton, Tom Jacobs and on down the list except.....Mr. Schwamp and Hazel the pianist. Now maybe just maybe there is somebody out there the knows...but if there is, they ain't sayin. We've give 'em the Barney Fife "Peter Pipe nose-pinching, one-leg hoppin, ruler slappin, spotlight staring, dream-talking, intercom listenin' checker playin, fingerprintin' interrogation test..but their lips are as sealed as Schwamp himself..they aint talkin, they ain't talkin' the more we ask, the more their balkin...but in reality, Nobody Knows!!! I'm a leading conspiracy theorist on the Schwamp mystery. The annuls and archives of this Digest will document my theories that Schwamp was a) a party animal who was known to drink a little too much Root Beer, and b) that his occupation was that of the local funeral director (but more on that later) Your question has prompted me to offer yet another Schwamp hypothesis. One day, on the set of the Andy Griffith show, a producer says to a casting director. We need a smiling child-like homely winsome affable meek person to play the part of a memorable reappearing Extra. They need to be ready for the Mrs. Wiley party scene of the upcoming "My Fairest Ernest T Bass" episode. The casting director went through dozens of applicants, and hundreds of photos trying to find the right person, with no luck. That night, on the way home, the casting director stopped in a restaurant for a cup of coffee. As he was pondering the tough assignment, another customer sitting alone in a booth, lowered his newspaper and smiled and nodded at the exhausted casting director. The details of what happened next are not totally known, but the story goes that the unassuming restaurant customer had such a stuttering problem that the interview took hours. The next day the casting director walked proudly into the Producer's office with his discovery. The smallish man was dressed in a new suit, but wore his own bad hair piece. Around his neck the casting director had hung a sign that said "smiling child-like homely winsome affable meek person". The Producer read the sign aloud "Smiling Child-like Homely Winsome Affable Meek Person" (S.C.H.W.A.M.P.) He smiled. The casting director grinned broadly and repeated "Smiling Child-like Homely Winsome Affable Meek Person" They laughed together and repeated aloud together "Smiling Child-like Homely Winsome Affable Meek Person" while the mystery guest just smiled and nodded. Then the producer stopped laughing and asked, "what will we call him?" ...and the rest as they say is history The Untrained Voice Sgt. at Arms-Scwhamp Fan Club and Hair Loss Support Group -- _______________________________________________ WBMUTBB mailing list WBMUTBB@wbmutbb.com http://www.mayberry.com/tagsrwc/wbmutbb/
