-Caveat Lector-
>But some people argued that [Serbian] Internet access should be cut off.
>"Continuing to provide these services would be kind of like giving aid
>to the enemy," one person wrote.
LOS ANGELES (Dissociated Press, May 15, 2007) -- Facing its 806th day of
"protective containment" by Chinese, Greater Russian, and Kurdistani troops
operating under the auspices of the United Nations Peace Force, this "City of
the Angels" has begun to resemble, instead, one of the circles of Hell in
Dante's Inferno. The Peace Force's naval blockade of the Pacific Rim, plus
its satellite-controlled laser-mining of airspace over the three No-Fly Zones
on the city's northern, eastern, and southern borders, have in effect
surgically excised the region from the rest of Mexico del Norte and the
former "United States." Resisting rather than welcoming the humanitarian
peacekeepers securing its borders, the city's white male Euro-American elite
has continued to exercise dictatorial control over its abject multicultural
"underclass," holding hostage millions of ethnic Africans, Latin Americans,
and Asians, for whom any flight to freedom elsewhere has been made
impossible..
The Korean and Vietnamese populations have been decimated by the
atrocities already inflicted on ethnic Chinese campaign contributors by the
jackbooted Angeleno Gestapo, whose watchword in English translates as "All
Gooks Look Alike, Especially When They're Dead." The few surviving ethnic
Africans, now a minority, have had their ranks purged by being forbidden by
law from engaging in any occupation except four -- kitchen helper in
state-controlled "McDonald's" units, unarmed security guard (used as a human
shield when defending real estate owned by members of the ruling council),
"sports star" in a variety of brutal human cockfights conducted for the
amusement of sadistic white audiences, or "entertainer" performing on
Disney-owned G-MTV (Gospel Music Television for Obedient Christian Negroes) .
The "American" majority --those of Mexican and Central or South American
origin--
has fared somewhat better, but not by far, because the city's white ruling
class, after depriving them of "citizenship" back in 2002, early last year
began rounding them up in house-by-house "sweeps" and transporting everyone
without a Municipal Identity Card to an arid region on the eastern perimeter
of the City, there granting them "autonomy" -- in ghettos surrounded on all
sides by armed government patrols of Caucasian ethnicity.
In such a setting as this arose the liberty-loving Aztlan Liberation Army,
whose violent suppression by the Angeleno Gestapo in late 2004 so shocked the
world, signalling the beginning of regional outbreaks of "ethnic cleansing"
in the one-time "United States"
and requiring that the UN respond as did NATO in the Balkan Action of 1999 to
2002.
Much like NATO in those days, but now with greater sophistication thanks
to long and hard experience subsequently --e.g., in Panmunjom, United Korea
in 2000, in Bogota (headquarters of SATO) in 2002, and in old Istanbul (now
Jihadabad, capital of the Shi'ite League) from 2000 to 2004-- the United
Nations Peace Force has exercised its humanitarian authority in an
appropriately non-lethal fashion, targeting renegade Los Angeles'
infrastructure rather than threatening the lives of any of its citizens.
Accordingly, on the 60th day of ideological quarantine, LA's electrical
power was permanently shut down by UN use of perpetually cycling EMP
generators, and a month later (coincidentally, during the region's worst
winter since 1998), its oil pipelines and gas reserves were selectively
bombed -- cutting off the heat after turning out the lights.
75 days later, LA's telephone lines were cut, and its radio, television, and
alternative microwave communications signals blocked through continuous
electronic jamming.
After two months, due to the intransigence of the Angeleno oligarchy, it
became necessary to tighten the UN blockade's restrictions even further,
preventing the rebels from importing food and medicine (since neither could
now be FDA-approved).
Two years later, as Day 807 of the SoCal Crisis approaches, unconfirmed
sources have leaked that now, more extreme humanitarian measures will be
taken to teach the Angelenos the error of their ways. Fifteen B-52s
stationed at the Sitting Bull Air Force Base in Las Vegas are fueling up for
"Operation Yellow Snow" -- a special mission involving high-tech
"cloudbusting," aimed at making LA's water supply undrinkable.
Simultaneously, the HAARP-II facility in Fairbanks, Russia is firing up to
send a jet stream of air laced with neurotoxins into the Los Angeles basin,
and keep it there, for as long as it takes the rebels to realize that they
can't breathe their own smog anymore.
The Peace Force regrets the gravity of these last two steps necessitated
by the never-ending story called the SoCal Crisis, but the UN has run out of
humane options.
"Besides," UN Secretary General Theodore Turner told reporters yesterday,
"it's all
HIS fault, HE started it" -- referring of course to El Mejor of the Sovereign
County of Los Angeles, the Hon. Charleton Heston, "the second most evil man
in the world after Hitler Himself," in the words of presiding Chief Justice
of the World Court, William Gates.
UN humanitarian strategists are certain that they have chosen the right
course, despite slow progress in their peacemaking mission thus far.
(Generalissimo Heston has stubbornly held out for 806 days, already two days
longer than Milosevic in 2001.)
"But when all of his 10 million subjects are DEAD," UN ambassador
Reverend O.J. Simpson predicted, "Satan Incarnate Heston will have NO CHOICE
but to surrender to those who truly defend human rights -- because what's the
use of being evil anymore when there's no innocent victims LEFT to be evil
TO?"
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