Germany enters Hitler's pet shop. Germany: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
Hitler: We're closin' for lunch. Germany: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Reich what I purchased not nine years ago from this very boutique. Hitler: Oh yes, the, uh, the Thousand Year Reich...What's, uh...What's wrong with it? Germany: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Hitler: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting. Germany: Look, matey, I know a dead Reich when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Hitler: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable Reich, the Thousand Year, idn'it, ay? Beautiful uniforms! Germany: The uniforms don't enter into it. It's stone dead. Hitler: Nononono, no, no! It's resting! Germany: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Thousand Year Reich! I've got a lovely world for you to rule if you show... (Hitler hits the cage) Hitler: There, it moved! Germany: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the cage! Hitler: I never!! Germany: Yes, you did! Hitler: I never, never did anything... Germany: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO REICHY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes Reich out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.) Germany: Now that's what I call a dead Reich. Hitler: No, no.....No, it's stunned! Germany: STUNNED?!? Hitler: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! Thousand Year Reichs stun easily, major. Germany: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Reich is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not nine years ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk. Hitler: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for Nuremburg. Germany: PININ' for NUREMBURG?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home? Hitler: The Thousand Year Reich prefers keepin' on its back! Remarkable Reich, id'nit, squire? Lovely uniforms! Germany: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Reich when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. (pause) Hitler: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that Reich down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Germany: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this Reich wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised! Hitler: No no! It's pining! Germany: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This Reich is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolic processes are now 'istory! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-REICH!! (pause) Hitler: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of Reichs. Germany: I see. I see, I get the picture. Hitler: I got a corporation. (pause) Germany: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it rule the world? Hitler: Nnnnot really. Germany: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!? Hitler: Look, if you go to my mate's pet shop in Italy, he'll replace the Reich for you. Germany: Italy, eh? Very well. (The customer leaves.) (The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a false moustache.) Germany: This is Italy, is it? Hitler: (with a fake mustache) No, it's Moscow. Germany: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you. --- Dale Lawrence <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > *sigh*... > > At 05:52 PM 5/22/01 -0000, you wrote: > >Hey all > >Can we please refrain from using the name of Hitler > in such a flagrant > >manner? It has, nor ever will be, a decent means of > putting to end a > >conversation or heated debate. All I'm asking is > that we *think twice* > >before bringing into our world that kind of > negativity. Language is > >powerful...please be careful with it. Flame on. > > > >MEK > >_________________________________________________________________ > >Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > http://explorer.msn.com > > > > > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >To unsubscribe, e-mail: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > >For additional commands, e-mail: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > To unsubscribe, e-mail: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > For additional commands, e-mail: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices http://auctions.yahoo.com/ --------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
