Little Miss Muffett Sat on her tuffett Her knickers all tattered and torn It wasn't the spider That sat down beside her But little boy blue, with his horn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little skirt It was split right up the sides when she went out to tend her sheep The boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt It was split right up the front but she doesn't wear that one very often ;o) --------------------------------------------------------------------- Georgie Porgey, pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play He kissed them too, he's funny that way! --------------------------------------------------------------------- mary had a little lamb her father shot it dead now it goes to school with her between two chunks of bread. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb She bought it as a trinket She put it in the liquidizer So everyone could drink it --------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep When she woke from under a hedge She found them in the butcher's shop as chops served up with veg --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb She kept it in a bucket And every time the lamb jumped out She'd put it back again --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary Had a little bike she rode it back to front every time the wheel went round the spoke went up her nose ;o) --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had alittle lamb It's fleece was as black as ink everywhere that mary went it piddled in the sink --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb, His feet were as black as soot. And into Mary's bread and jam, His sooty foot he put. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb, She blamed it on the shepherd! -- Mary had a little lamb Her Dad went out and shot the ram. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little pig, She couldn't stop it gruntin', She took it up the garden path, And kicked it's little head in. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb, She also had a duck, She put them on the mantelpiece, To see if they would fall off. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Old mother hubbard Went to the cupboard To fetch the postman a letter But when she got there The cupboard was bare So they did it without - It was better --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon 10,000 volts shot up its leg And turned its wool to nylon --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb Full of fun and frolics She threw it up into the air And caught it by its back leg --------------------------------------------------------------------- Old mother hubbard Went to the cupboard To fetch her poor doggy a bone When she bent over Old Rover came over And gave her a bone of his own --------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey diddle diddle the cat did a piddle, all over the kitchen floor. The dog did laugh to see such fun so the cat did a little bit more. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey diddle diddle the cat did a piddle, all over the bathroom mat. The dog did laugh to see such fun and piddled all over the cat. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Miss Druggy Sat in her Buggy Smoking a pipe of weed Along came a spider That sat down beside her and skinned up with acid and speed. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little lamb She kept it in a bucket every time she left it outside the bulldog used to bring it back in. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Jack and Jill went up the hill For things they didn't ought'r Jill came down with half-a-crown But it wasn't for carrying water --------------------------------------------------------------------- <sing> Old MacDonald was dyslexic... P, J, Q, F, M !!!! -- Tim Blair ; online @ http://www.badpen.com/
