-----Original Message----- From: Hathaway, Stephen [mailto:StephenH@;south-west-water.co.uk] Sent: 22 October 2002 08:56 To: .Big Andy Hotmail; .Cat; .Ceri; .Ffion Work; .Lucy Subject: FW: surrogate father
> The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a > surrogate >father to start their family. On >the day the proxy father was > to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, >"I'm off. The man should be > here soon". > Half an hour later, just by chance, > >a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a > sale. >"Good morning madam. I've come to...." > >"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in. > >"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality of > >babies." > >"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." > >After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" > >"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the > >couch >and perhaps a couple on the bed. > >Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!" > >"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." > >"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we > try > >several different positions and I >shoot from six or seven angles, I'm > sure > you'll be pleased with the > >results." > >"My, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith. > >"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in > and > >out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." > >"Don't I know it.", Mrs. Smith said quietly. > >The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his > >baby >pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." > >"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. > >"And these twins turned out exceptionally well-when you consider their > >mother was so difficult to work with." > >"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. > >"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job > >done right. People were crowding around > >four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." > >"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. > >"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The > >mother was constantly squealing and >yelling - I could hardly > concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began >to rush my shots. > Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my > >equipment, I just packed it all in." > >Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, um.. > >equipment ?" > >"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that > >we > >can get to work." > >"Tripod??" > >"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big > for >me to hold very long... > >"Madam? Madam?..... > >Good Lord, she's fainted!" > > > > > > > The information and documents sent in this email are sent in confidence and are intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. Please note that the contents may contain privileged, personal and/or confidential information and are not to be disclosed to any person other than the addressee. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that any use, dissemination, distribution or copying of the information and documents contained in this email is strictly prohibited. Please advise us immediately if you have received this email in error and return this email and any copies to us as soon as possible.
