Hi, While most of the friends have responded with a nod to positively disclose the disability, I believe the question doesn’t have a definite answer. The disability that we all happen to possess is physical and something that is either gifted to us by birth or a result of some accident. Important is the fact that we have all been able to overcome it in some form or other and are leading a dignified life.
Accepting it as a part of life goes a long way in coping up with such unthoughtful questions like the colour of someone’s dress, count of girls passing by, etc. Some people are too inquisitive and happen to ask irrational questions, they can be regarded as someone completely uninformed about the disability or someone who’s just attempting to collect gossip information. In my opinion, few of them may prove helpful upon understanding the situation. However, it cannot be determined up-front unless the person is a little known, the best way is to politely close such questions and see if the person is then showing any willingness to help. One should also keep in mind that we represent our disabled community at large. Thus, should attempt being confident, polite and cheerful to strangers as far as possible but not at the cost of one's dignity. I have personal experiences where some stranger tells me that I’m on the correct route on my way home from the railway station to which I simply assert and move on. In some other experiences, someone at the Metro asks me if I’m comfortable with the escalator even after seeing that I have climbed it and half way through to which I just tell him that ‘seeing is believing and you’re seeing me do so. My friend, accept the disability for yourself and acceptance of the same for others will not be so difficult. As rightly said in an earlier email, start LIVING rather than pretending! On 4/8/18, Rohiet A. Patil <patil_ro...@dataone.in> wrote: > Most importantly, it is not the requirement of that perticular communication > that you need to disclose your dissability. Positive or nigative image is a > completely different thing. > > -----Original Message----- > From: Aravind R > Sent: Sunday, April 08, 2018 3:23 PM > To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning > the disabled. > Subject: Re: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment > > i will hide my disability only during banking profession while > speaking to customers on phone. because, if i declare my disability > initially, customer's usual negative expectation on disabled people > will make them not believe my knowledge and commitments on their > banking service expectations. So, during email and phone > conversations, i will try not to show my disability which will create > positive image on us whenever they meet us in person in future. > > On 4/8/18, turab chimthanawala <turab...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Hi Alvesh, >> Well my experience regarding disclosing or not disclosing my >> disability is as under: >> As I have partial blindness, in the initial years of my life, I tried >> to behave as far as possible like a sighted person, trying to do >> things their way, greatly hesitating to ask for reasonable >> accomodations and most importantly trying to conceal my disability. >> The upshot of this was lack of confidence, loneliness, mental stress >> and greater dependence. In the last few years when I have internalised >> my disability, life has become much more interesting. It relieves a >> lot of mental and physical stress as there is no unnecessarily >> compulsion to appear 'normal'. As regards others, the moment we accept >> ourselves, it would not take long for others to accept us. And if >> people have a problem, better not have them in our lives. Also, the >> moment I have decided to accept my disability, people instead of >> alienating me, respect and admire me even more for being able to >> overcome my disability and take keen interest as to how I perform >> routine tasks in my unique way. As regards repeated questions >> regarding some sensitive issues, there is always an option to politely >> request to pass the question. Moreover, however hard you try, >> ultimately people will become aware of your condition as you are bound >> to struggle at some or the other point. >> Hence, like others, I also suggest to disclose rather than conceal >> your disability. I feel the white stick is an excellent tool to >> discretely let people know of our blindness. Hence, you could start >> using your stick, if you have not already. >> Best >> Turab >> >> On 4/7/18, Umesh <umeshkasa...@gmail.com> wrote: >>> Hi >>> >>> Though it is not particularly necessary for me to comment on the topic >>> As many notable personalities have already provided their brilliant >>> suggestions, still I’d love to contribute to the discussion to the >>> best of my understanding >>> >>> Persons with not-so-obvious visibility of disability generally go >>> through the dilemma that you are facing(primarily speaking from my own >>> experience). Frankly agreeing with you, both options(hiding and >>> not-hiding of disability) do have their pros and cons. But we are best >>> served only if we are able to make the better suitable course of >>> action. >>> We can tackle this situation by employing two simple thumb-rules. >>> First is lesser harm thesis which would suggest to choose the lesser >>> evil. This reasoning would lead us to the path of not-hiding the >>> disability. Second, not going for a rigid pattern. It is to suggest >>> that in the case where you feel that you can be cheated if the >>> person(s) interacting with your is/are likely to use your disability >>> as an exploitable point, you can rightly choose to hide your >>> disability. For example, while travelling alone you can choose this >>> path. >>> >>> To help you decide you can also ponder over the emotional loss that >>> this adopted approach of hiding the disability is causing to your >>> existence. It is doing damage on various levels. First, it is >>> effectively alienating you from your being. Second, it hinders you >>> from being the best coppy of yourself. Third, it forces you to live a >>> life of perpetual dilemma! The loss may vary according to your >>> specifications. >>> >>> I’ll sign out by recording that hiding or not-hiding should not be a >>> deliberate thing in the sense that one tries one’s best to do either >>> of the two. If it is natural; then it is not a problem. The problem >>> creaps in when one materialises the hiding or otherwise by a special >>> effort. Exception to the rule holds that the deliberate hiding is >>> allowed only if it saves you from some foreseeable ordeal. >>> >>> I hope it helps >>> >>> Wishing you, and many other like you, all the best. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> On 4/7/18, Nagababu Arepalli <nagababu...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> Hi, >>>> please do not look for small benefits. you may need to face bigger >>>> problems in future if, you hide your disability. >>>> there is nothing rong in disclosing your disability. >>>> you will be recognised with your character, atitude and your >>>> qualificationsa. >>>> and all humanbeeings will have some diffect in there body. so, no need >>>> to hide disability. >>>> this is my opinion do not take it otherwise. >>>> >>>> On 4/7/18, Alvesh Shokeen <alveshshok...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> Some time there are benefits of not disclosing the disability, and >>>>> behaving as you were a sighted guy. For example, no one can cheat us >>>>> if he is not getting the clue that I am a vision impaired guy, and >>>>> people will not ask unnecessary questions! >>>>> As I have faced some aukward situations, asking for help people asked >>>>> me uncumfirtable questions, like your eyes are looking quite ok, are >>>>> you telling lie? How much can you see, can you identify which colour >>>>> shirt I am wearing? can you see the girls coming and going? Therefore >>>>> I deliberetly avoid to disclose my disability to avoid these >>>>> unwelcomed and aukward situations. But I can say, I am losing more by >>>>> hiding my disability, as people don't get the clue what kind of help I >>>>> require? And people think I am avoiding them by not greeding them with >>>>> hi and goodmorning etc. The other embarrassing situation I face at the >>>>> time of shaking the hands meeting someone. As sometime I can not >>>>> figure out that he has raised his hand to shake? >>>>> And also I am not visually impaired for long, I have a hard time to >>>>> distinguish the people by their voice. By the way, guide me for >>>>> getting good counseling material to learn with my disability. >>>>> >>>>> On 4/6/18, Sandeep Singh <sandeepsingh...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> And believe me, friend, George sir is a most respected personality >>>>>> applauded by all sections of the society despite his blindness. We >>>>>> have lots of people on our list, Ms Kanchan and Ms Priti, Mr Pranay >>>>>> and Mr Prashant, and so many veterans and youngsters who have a >>>>>> special place in the society and are loved and respected by all. You >>>>>> are a capable person, don't hide your disability, sensitize people >>>>>> instead. I recently organized a program where I asked a young lady >>>>>> doing Engineering to wear a blindfold and identify currency notes. I >>>>>> asked people to do activities pretending they were disabled of some >>>>>> kind and they understood how much we can do despite our physical >>>>>> limitations. >>>>>> So, go ahead and enjoy life, don't mind those who don't accept you, >>>>>> make merry with those who accept you and love you. >>>>>> Best regards >>>>>> Sandeep >>>>>> >>>>>> On 4/6/18, George Abraham <geo...@eyeway.org> wrote: >>>>>>> I have been through the same situation. Thought the World would >>>>>>> reject >>>>>>> me. >>>>>>> Life was lived under great tension. But friend, the day I stopped >>>>>>> pretending, I discovered a whole new life of freedom and fun. Life is >>>>>>> determined by who you are, what you think and how you carry yourself. >>>>>>> It >>>>>>> becomes very dangerous when you try to mould your life basis the >>>>>>> World's >>>>>>> expectation of you. So "Stop pretending and start living." >>>>>>> >>>>>>> -----Original Message----- >>>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On >>>>>>> Behalf >>>>>>> Of Alvesh Shokeen >>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 6, 2018 11:46 AM >>>>>>> To: accessindia >>>>>>> Subject: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Hey list members, I am a partially blind person, I can manage most of >>>>>>> the >>>>>>> chores at my own. People don't get easily that I am visually impaired >>>>>>> person. But this is true that I hide my disability, for instance, on >>>>>>> the >>>>>>> dining table I pretent that I don't like sweets in order to avoid the >>>>>>> embarrassment of asking where is the sweet kept on the table. I avoid >>>>>>> social >>>>>>> functions just to make sure that no one is knowing the magnitude of >>>>>>> my >>>>>>> vision condition. I am unable to become very social, thinking that >>>>>>> people >>>>>>> will not like me on the account of my disability. >>>>>>> In order to hide my disability, I have to secrify a lot! I hide my >>>>>>> disability just because of the matter of the fact that in my society >>>>>>> disabled people are looked with pity, and no one will respect me and >>>>>>> my >>>>>>> parants after knowing that I am disabled person. Though I am central >>>>>>> government employee, still people will doubt on my ability and >>>>>>> education, >>>>>>> they will say that he got the job under quota reserved for >>>>>>> handicapped >>>>>>> persons. Therefore till now, I am hiding my disability wherever >>>>>>> possible. >>>>>>> Kindly suggest me how to live a good life with the disability with >>>>>>> full >>>>>>> confidence. . I always think that why it happened to me, while whole >>>>>>> world >>>>>>> is enjoying with their sight. When I think of future married life, I >>>>>>> am >>>>>>> clueless that how will I manage children and all, their education and >>>>>>> then >>>>>>> their marriage etc. I feel life is useless with out sight. >>>>>>> Kindly help me in coming out from this liquidating attitude. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>>>> >>>>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>>>> please >>>>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>>>> of >>>>>>> the >>>>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>>>> veracity; >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>>>> mails >>>>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>>>> >>>>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>>>> please >>>>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>>>> of >>>>>>> the >>>>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>>>> veracity; >>>>>>> >>>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>>>> mails >>>>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>>> >>>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>>> >>>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>>> please >>>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>>> of >>>>>> the >>>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>>> veracity; >>>>>> >>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>>> mails >>>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please >>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>> of >>>>> the >>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>> veracity; >>>>> >>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>> mails >>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> [Sincerely,] >>>> Nagababu Arepalli national law university odisha, >>>> cuttack >>>> B.A,LL.B >>>> PH: +919000963966>+918688071288 >>>> mail ID: >>>> nagababu...@gmail.com >>>> nagababuna...@gmail.com >>>> 11ba...@nluo.ac.in >>>> Skype: >>>> nagababuarepalli >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>> please >>>> visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Disclaimer: >>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>>> the >>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>>> >>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>> mails >>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Umesh Kumar >>> M.Phil Research Scholar, CPS, JNU. >>> Mobile: +91 88-946 54-469 >>> 9868606199 >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> > > > -- > nothing is difficult unless you make it appear so. > > r. aravind, > > Assistant manager > Department of sales > bank of baroda specialised mortgage store, Chennai. > mobile no: +91 9940369593, 9710945613. > email id : aravind_...@yahoo.com, aravind.andhrab...@gmail.com. > > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > > > > > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > -- Best Regards, Zujar... An optimist laughs to forget, whereas a pessimist forgets to laugh! Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
