Dear Ma’am, Thanks for your appreciation.
When I was confined at home and had to depend on others for my works, I used to think that I will never marry a blind girl. But, when I started to become independent, that thought vanished. Somehow, I could never get the feeling of love for a blind girl and thankfully a blind girl was saved! One cannot manage to fall in love, they say it just happens. I will not dare to ignore your question. Sincerely, Shadab PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com On 12/30/11, shalini khanna <shalinik...@yahoo.com> wrote: > Shadab...i loved the way you wrote it. Good writing skills too along with a > clean heart and good mind!...but why did you not think of marrying a blind > girl. If you dont like my question...u can ignore it. > > Regards > Shalini Khanna > Hony. Director > NAB, India -Centre for Blind Women > Consultant, GENPACT Sexual Harrassment Committee > L-25, Hauz Khas Enclave > New Delhi > Ph. no. 011- 41656266, 9811772499 > > > > ________________________________ > From: mahendra <gal...@chello.at> > To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in > Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 5:28 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > congratulations, you did right thing, i wish you both, > all the best for your future. > give my regards and love to your butyful wife. > > At 11:33 AM 12/10/2011, you wrote: >>Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >>There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for >>me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) >>be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness >>in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused >>blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further >>or politely tendered their refusals. >> >>My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it >>difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I >>will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful >>act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get >>disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until >>my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not >>caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, >>then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I >>used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. >> >>We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us >>often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to >>them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily >>telling us "What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know >>your son, he is our child, everything is settled." >> >>Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. >>Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that >>we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and >>blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had >>visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my >>blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her >>often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did >>not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue >>again as if it was hurting them. >> >>Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some >>uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want >>to take chances. >> >>We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight >>problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight >>to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on >>computers and move around the city and out of the city independently >>(at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But >>the astonishing thing was that they could not realise that in the >>course of time I have become blind. >> >>I told her mother point-blank: "I can only see light. I am looking >>towards your face because of your voice. I use screen reading >>technology to work on computers. And I use a cane when I walk alone. I >>cannot see." >> >>She gave a pause. That pause clearly expressed that she was broken. >>(Later, I came to know from my mother that her hands were shaking at >>that time.) Then I talked with the girl who had already known about >>the new condition I was in. She sounded perplexed and disinclined. >> >>Their reaction, though, was normal. Anyone would have reacted in a >>similar manner after knowing about my blindness. My marriage date was >>to be fixed, but now they needed time and told us that they were >>unaware that I had lost my sight. I thought that the game was over. >> >>But I was wrong. >> >>Days passed. One good evening, the mother of the >>girl-who-could-be-my-wife came to our home and started showering >>praises on me. She talked to me in a tearfully sympathetic tone, >>though I had not needed it. Apologising from her expressions and tone, >>she told us that her daughter was not willing to marry me. I was >>thankful because if this condition had disclosed after marriage, I >>would have been in great trouble. >> >>At my home, I gave a small party to my friends, and called it 'In the >>name of my cancelled marriage'! It was meant to truly celebrate life; >>it was not one of those Bollywood parties in which bottles are >>uncorked, there is false enjoyment all around, and the main character >>ineptly tries to forget his grief in the make-believe. Thankfully, we >>really enjoyed our party, and since my room is quite separated, we >>made a lot of noise until the early hours of the morning. >> >>Days passed. Wham! The mother of the girl-who-could-be-my-wife told >>us that her daughter wants to marry me! She was deeply moved by that >>honesty stuff. Earlier too, that delicate creature had cried and >>prayed for me a lot, on hearing that I have become blind. Her family >>members, too, had prayed and cried, and now the girl was willing to >>marry me. It was a U-turn! >> >>Can you even guess what happened after that? Celebrations, excitement, >>religious and cultural rituals... no, nothing of the sort. >> >>I was not very impressed with prayers and tears. (Though I always beg >>for God's mercy and crave for prayers of His creations.) I had earlier >>told my sister that they have the right to reject me, but acceptance >>after rejection will not affect me. >> >>I remained a bachelor. >> >>I started to train myself to lead an unmarried life. I found many >>people (including two blind men) who were very sufficiently leading a >>lonesome life and asked myself: "If they can do it, why cannot I?" >> >>Living alone is difficult, but not impossible. Loneliness humbles you, >>brings forth your good qualities and teaches you how to be happy in >>need. It is a lovely teacher which urges you to be independent of all >>except God. >> >>I was not pessimistic to adopt such an approach; I only tried to be >>practical. Had I been pessimistic, I would have told my family members >>not to search a bride for me because "I want to live alone." Besides, >>I have a small rule of life, which is to try to be happy in an >>unnatural or adverse situation, but never to willingly prolong or >>embrace it. True, bearing pain patiently brings forth our good >>qualities, but this does not mean that we don't take steps to >>eliminate it. >> >>I lived and enjoyed the present without caring about the future. I >>pursued my hobbies (reading, writing and travelling) and tried not to >>miss a chance to improve myself. >> >>Days passed. The final shot readers! One fine evening I was introduced >>to a girl by my mother and sister to whom I told each and everything >>about my sight. It is close to midnight now, and guess what....that >>girl is with me because thankfully she is my wife! >> >>----- >>Shadab Husain works as a receptionist at Chhatrapati Shahuji Maharaj >>Medical University, Lucknow. He has an MA in English literature, and >>has pursued a diploma in computer applications as well as a >>personality development course. He also writes a blog on personality >>development and improving English. To visit his blog, click >>PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com. >> >>http://retinaindia.blogspot.com/2011/11/of-disclosing-disability-before.html >> >>-- >>Develop your personality and English at >>http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ >> >> >>Search for old postings at: >>http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >>To unsubscribe send a message to >>accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>with the subject unsubscribe. >> >>To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other >>changes, please visit the list home page at >>http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > with warm regards > Mahendra Galani > window's live ID mahendragal...@hotmail.com skype ID chintu3886 > phone +4314943149 mobile +4369910366055, > address Herbst strasse 101.16.1 Vienna Austria Europe > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- Develop your personality and English at http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. 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