Hi Avichal, You prefix your email id with “cool”)
Joking buddy) AT all, Pl. see the Australian documentary on the same issue. It unravels many aspect of the subject beautifully. ~Cheers On 7/7/13, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: > Should we also lobby for the same in India too? > What do you say Access Indians. > http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/05/world/europe/disabled-people-say-they-too-want-a-sex-life-and-seek-help-in-attaining-it.html?pagewanted=all > Seeking Sexual Surrogates: In France, sexual surrogates for disabled > people are not permitted, but some are pushing to make the practice > legal. > > By MAÏA de la BAUME > > GRENOBLE, France — In her sexual fantasies, she is a fit and impetuous > blonde who dominates her male partners. In real life, she is a virgin > who relies on an electric wheelchair, her body touched only by home > care aides and medical personnel. > > France Keyser for The New York Times > > Laetitia Rebord, receiving home care in Grenoble, is paralyzed. Her > disability has scared away many potential sexual partners. > > > “A disabled person is seen as a child,” said the woman in the > wheelchair, Laetitia Rebord, 31. “So inevitably, child and sex don’t > go together.” A translator and teacher, she has a genetic spinal > muscular atrophy that has left her entirely paralyzed, except for her > left thumb and her facial muscles. > > Ms. Rebord, who says she feels physical sensation acutely, has looked > for sexual relationships through friends of friends and men on dating > sites and even with male escorts. But her disability has scared many > away, and she says she is now ready to pay for sex in Switzerland or > Germany, where so-called sexual surrogates are legal. > > Stories like Ms. Rebord’s are far from unusual in France, where behind > a facade of sexual freedom, disabled people struggle to have a sex > life. But their desires are often disregarded, and while prostitution > is legal here, soliciting potential clients and serving as an > intermediary between prostitutes and clients are not. > > The issue of sexual surrogates came up in March, after the National > Ethics Committee, which advises the government on health issues, > issued a report criticizing the practice as the “unethical use of the > human body for commercial purposes.” The report, commissioned in 2011, > was approved by government officials, including Marie-Arlette > Carlotti, a junior minister responsible for issues involving those > with disabilities, who called sexual assistance for disabled people “a > form of prostitution.” > > But encouraged in part by the publicity around “The Sessions,” a 2012 > American movie about the sexual awakening of a disabled man by a > sexual surrogate, some legislators and associations of disabled people > are demanding the legalization of sexual surrogates. > > “Prostitution is a fake debate; the goals are different,” said Pascale > Ribes, who in 2011 founded the Disabilities and Sexualities Group, an > association defending sexual surrogates in France. > > “Sexual assistance is about allowing a disabled person who can’t > access sexuality in a satisfying way to reconnect with the body,” Ms. > Ribes said. > > Her association is lobbying for a change in the law to allow disabled > people, their parents, their friends or directors of approved > institutions to arrange meetings with sexual surrogates, who typically > charge around $130 a session. She speaks of the “sexual distress” of > many of France’s 1.8 million disabled people of working age, > especially women. > > Some need sexual assistance to recover their sexual drive after an > accident, Ms. Ribes said. Others are disabled couples who need help to > “share intimate moments together.” Many wish to explore their > sexuality to regain self-confidence, she said. Most sexual surrogates > are women, Ms. Ribes said, adding that “it is harder for disabled > women rather than men to ask for a sexual surrogate.” > > In France, the rarity of debate over the subject, the laws regulating > prostitution and the refusal to legalize sexual surrogates have > encouraged illegal practices. > > Aminata Gregory, 66, is Dutch. She retired as a supervisor in the > construction industry, and she has been performing sexual assistance > illegally in France for more than a year. She was trained as a sex > therapist in Switzerland, and her work mostly involves massages and > erotic games without kisses on the mouth or sex. > > “If someone is in a wheelchair, I start in the wheelchair,” Ms. > Gregory said. “I start playing the game of getting undressed on the > wheelchair. It becomes a little like a game.” > > Ms. Gregory’s clients find her through word of mouth. She has about 10 > disabled clients in France and charges them through her company in the > Netherlands. Her sessions cost about $130 and often take place in her > clients’ houses. They begin with background checks and discussions > about the clients’ needs. > > “During the session, I can be a friend, the lover, whoever they want,” > Ms. Gregory said. “They can dream, they can speak, they can ask what > they want, and I give them as much as possible.” > > Ms. Gregory finds France’s attitude on sexual assistance intolerant. > “In Holland, we have integrity over our body,” she said. “In France, > the law always decides for the individual, and not in his favor.” > > On a recent Saturday, Ms. Gregory went to Vedène, in southern France, > to meet one of her clients, Daniel Doriguzzi, 49, a town hall > employee. Mr. Doriguzzi has a rare genetic disease called Friedreich’s > ataxia, a condition that is making him gradually lose physical > coordination and the ability to speak fluently. > > “With a prostitute, there is sex and it’s over,” said Mr. Doriguzzi, > speaking from the veranda of his modest ground-floor apartment. “It > lasts for a limited time and nothing else.” > > With Ms. Gregory, he said, “we put ourselves in a bubble and become a > normal couple. We talk to each other. We do whatever we want. We ask > each other whatever we want. At the end of the session, we break the > bubble.” > > Sexual surrogates are legal in most countries that allow prostitution, > like Switzerland, Germany and Denmark. In Switzerland, several > associations offer training for sexual surrogates. > > In 2008, Catherine Agthe Diserens, a Swiss-German educator, started a > six-month training program with former prostitutes, nurses and > physiotherapists. It included classes about disabilities, internships > in institutions, collaborations with sex workers and practical courses > exploring what Mrs. Agthe Diserens called “body skills.” > > “It is a totally atypical and extremely specialized training,” she > said in an interview from her home near Geneva. “It requires a lot of > preparation beforehand, and it is extremely intense.” She plans to set > up a second training session in the fall and bring more prostitutes to > train, she said. > > In France, offering such training would be unthinkable. For many > French feminists, who associate undesired sex with violence, sexual > assistance is humiliating both for the woman involved and for disabled > people. > > “It’s like telling disabled people that since they will never have a > sex or love life, we’ll prescribe them sexual assistance as a > palliative,” said Anne-Cécile Mailfert, a member of Osez le Féminisme > (Dare to be feminist). > > For Ms. Mailfert, sexual assistance can also create dangerous > emotional dependency between those who practice it and their clients. > The central question, she said, is less about sexuality than about > teaching medical professionals to understand the sexual needs of > disabled people and to help them meet other people. > > But many disabled people, including Ms. Rebord, believe that they have > a right to sexual assistance, a psychological and physical means to > overcome their inhibitions and empower them to find love. > > Marcel Nuss, a severely disabled father of two who breathes with an > artificial respirator, is the author of “I Want to Make Love.” The > book describes his personal fulfillment through love with his former > wife and a sex life with escorts. His experiences, he said, persuaded > him to support the use of sexual surrogates. > > “Someone like me can’t do anything on his own,” said Mr. Nuss, who > runs a consulting firm specializing in helping disabled people. “Sex > helps the disabled to reincarnate themselves and recover their human > aspect.” > > Ms. Rebord shares Mr. Nuss’s optimism and openness about sex. She > lives in a tidy, modern apartment, has a decent paycheck, a Facebook > account and a taste for “Sons of Anarchy,” an American television > series featuring a group of tattooed bikers. > > She believes that a conservative society like France moves slowly, as > it did before finally legalizing abortion. In time, she said, France > will legalize sexual surrogates, too, although she was not holding her > breath. “I hope,” she said with a laugh, “I’ll still be alive to see > it.” > > > > > Stefania Rousselle contributed reporting from Vedène, France. > > > -- > Avinash Shahi > MPhil Research Scholar > Centre for the Study of Law and Governance > Jawaharlal Nehru University > New Delhi India > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > -- "Security is a superstition. Avoiding danger is no safer than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." - Ms. Helen Keller Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
