very very interesting love stories and good to give life to needy. On 8/10/14, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> wrote: > On a midsummer afternoon, a pleasant breeze blows across Fateh Sagar > Lake. Clear blue waters shimmer in the sun. Small waves lap against > the rocks, occasionally breaking the quiet of the place. The > Aravallis, made lush green by the monsoon, loom in a distance. > Thirty-eight-year-old Kamlesh Kumar Vaishnav sits on the wall that > rings the lake, holding his wife Geeta's hands. His black wheelchair, > folded neatly, is parked next to him. They have been coming here for > the last eight years, ever since they began dating. It was here that > he professed his love for her; here that they decided to marry > secretly and here that she broke the news of her pregnancy to him. > "This place has a lot of memories," says Vaishnav. > http://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/life-style/love-will-find-a-way-the-story-of-six-disabled-couples-who-never-thought-theyd-find-love/ > In Udaipur, a city with white havelis, palaces and forts set amidst > hills, where turbaned men sing love ballads to the sound of the iktara > on long boat rides, it is difficult not to fall in love. But Vaishnav > and Geeta's love story is unusual. "I first saw her at the hospital," > he says. > > Though crippled by polio since childhood, Vaishnav has never let > disability come in the way of life. Till Class V, his relatives would > drop him to school each day on a cycle. At the age of 11, his family > gave him a self-operated wheelchair. "That was independence," Vaishnav > says. In 2006, he began working at Narayan Sewa Sansthan, a charitable > organisation that runs hospitals for the disabled and performs > surgeries for those afflicted by polio free of cost. > > Vaishnav was an attendant at the reception of the Udaipur hospital, > preparing discharge papers of the patients. Geeta, who was crippled at > the age of one, underwent a corrective surgery for severe polio at the > hospital in 2008. "She had been admitted to the ward for a week. Her > right leg was plastered. Even in hospital clothes, she looked so > beautiful," Vaishnav says. For the next week, Vaishnav tried to talk > to Geeta, but her parents were always around. When she returned to the > hospital six months later to have her legs fixed with calipers, they > spoke for the first time. > > Kamlesh Vaishnav and Geeta at the Fateh Sagar Lake. > Geeta, who is 10 years younger, lived in Banswara village, 165 km > away, but she would travel for four hours in a bus every week to reach > Udaipur and meet Vaishnav. "I would lie to my parents that I was going > to see a friend or to the hospital for my check-up. We would meet at > Fateh Sagar and talk. Other couples would take boat rides and go to > Nehru Park (a small island in the middle of the lake). We could not, > it was impossible with the wheelchair and calipers. But we were > content to be with each other," she says. > > Narayan Sewa Sansthan, set up nearly three decades ago by retired > government servant Kailash Agarwal, now 80, to treat patients > suffering from polio and cerebral palsy, appears to be an unlikely > place for love stories. On a regular day, a vast crowd sits outside > the 1,100-bed hospital in Bari, on the outskirts of Udaipur city. They > are relatives of patients, who come from as far as Bihar, Punjab and > Karnataka for free treatment for their kin. Young men and women in > uniform, many of them disabled, stream in and out of the wards that > smell of disinfectant and illness. Agarwal's daughter-in-law, Vandana, > the Sansthan's director, says the youngsters were all patients at the > hospital once, who were treated and later employed there -- as nurses, > ward boys, receptionists, accountants and in other capacities. Those > who were not employed had the opportunity to attend classes in sewing, > mobile repairing, computers, and other vocational skills. > > The institute also encourages young men and women to mingle. "We try > to create an atmosphere where it is easy for them to find a life > partner. Many of them think of themselves as burdens. This is a place > where they meet new people and find a partner, a hamdard who > understands them," Vandana says. > > Eleven years ago, they started organising mass weddings when a few > patients approached them for "complete rehabilitation". Some told her > they were "lonely" in life. "That is when we thought: why not search > partners for them? We started talking to patients and families in the > hospital. Slowly, word spread. We do background checks of both the boy > and the girl: what kind of people they are, if the boy drinks or > smokes, and the family's social and economic status," she says. > > Many of the alliances are of those who met and fell in love at the > hospital. > > When couples face objections from the families, volunteers try to > counsel the parents. "There have been many instances where we > explained to the family that caste does not matter. Most often, love > wins," says Vandana. > > Manohar Singh and Mankunwar > at Juda village near Udaipur > In Juda village, 100 km from Udaipur, residents guide you towards a > row of thatched-roof houses near the peepal tree where "langda" lives. > Affected by polio when he was one, Manohar Singh was operated at the > Udaipur hospital in 2008. At one of the check-ups after his surgery, > he saw Mankunwar Kirad, 22, who was operated in 2010. "Our marriage > was arranged by the Sansthan," Singh says. But, later, as his mother > steps out to make tea, he hastily adds, covering his mouth with his > hand to hide his wide, ear-to-ear grin, "It was the mole under her lip > that I lost my heart to." > > The playfulness between them is evident. A few nights ago, while Singh > was asleep, Mankunwar painted his hand with henna: his palm is now a > deep orange. "We are very different. She is jovial and chatty. I am > the quiet type," he says. The couple married in June this year along > with 91 others at a mass wedding at Ramlila Maidan in Delhi. > > Pramila Meena and Vijay Singh Chauhan saw each other at the hospital > seven years ago. She was a 15-year-old from Dungarpur in Rajasthan, > undergoing a corrective surgery for polio. Chauhan was a 19-year-old > ward boy, who had been struck by polio when he was two. Even though > Pramila kept coming to the hospital for annual check-ups, they spoke > only in September last year, when she joined sewing classes organised > by the Sansthan. > > "I had seen him around and was impressed by his good looks, but never > had the courage to talk to him," says Pramila, now 22. Recalling their > first "meeting", Chauhan says she was in a black salwar suit, with > kohl-lined eyes when she stepped inside the hospital: "I really liked > her, but how could I talk?" Chauhan spoke to a volunteer and asked for > help. "For about a month, she refused to talk as she was scared of a > backlash from her family. Eventually, she gave in," says Chauhan, with > a grin. > > The way forward was not easy for the young lovers. In a state where > caste divisions are stark, the fact that Pramila belongs to the Meena > community, while Chauhan is an "upper-caste" Rajput was a big hurdle. > Pramila's family was bitterly opposed to the match. "I was affected by > polio when I was just four months old. My parents died soon after. My > grandparents raised me. They are old-fashioned and were very unhappy > about my wish to marry outside our caste. Moreover, I had been > rejected by many suitors because of my disability. So, my grandparents > have always been very protective of me. But when they met Vijay, they > really liked his politeness. They also realised that he was ready to > accept me, even though his disability was far less than mine. I use > crutches to walk. His family accepted me whole-heartedly. Eventually, > my family also agreed," Pramila says, when we meet her at her one-room > flat near the hospital. They married in June this year. > > Vaishnav and Geeta decided to marry in secret after almost two years > of courtship. "Had we told our parents about it, we would never have > been able to marry. I am a Brahmin and she is from a Scheduled Tribe. > We thought our families would have killed us for even thinking about > such a match. So, we quietly registered our marriage at the court and > continued living at our respective homes. Weekly meetings in Udaipur > continued as usual," he says. > > Two years later, when Geeta broke the news of her pregnancy to him, > they had to reveal all. "We had no choice. I told my father he could > give us any punishment he deemed fit. But he was happy. Neither he nor > I had thought I would marry or have a family. For some months, my > mother boycotted us. But everyone came around after our son's birth. > He is three now and lives with my parents in Mawli village," Vaishnav > says. > > Even though Vaishnav and Geeta were always encouraged by their > families to pursue their education, they feel love has completely > changed their lives. When he first proposed to her, she says she was > surprised. "I had never imagined that I too would be a wife and a > mother some day. When he told me about his feelings, I broke down. I > had never thought someone could love me. He was frank about his > disability, because I walk fine with calipers while he moves around on > his wheelchair. But by then, our love had crossed all boundaries. It > eclipsed everything else: our age gap, caste barriers, and the > difference in the extent of disabilities." > > The love stories have inspired hope in other young patients who come > to the hospital. Sukhpal Singh, a 25-year-old with polio, has arrived > at the institute from Sangrur in Punjab. He has recently completed his > BCA and is about to start looking for a job, but he tells us about > battling mocking stares all his life. His mother, Labh Kaur, recalls > how someone from their village was operated at the institute, and > encouraged Sukhpal to "give it a try". > > As she hears the stories of love marriages arranged at the hospital, > Kaur says, "I do not know what destiny has planned. But if those > couples found love, surely my son will find a partner too. If he likes > a girl here, I will agree. Even if she is not a Punjabi." > > -- > Avinash Shahi > Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. >
Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
