Check out today’s Bizarro. From: ch...@wbmfg.com Sent: Friday, August 12, 2016 2:15 PM To: af@afmug.com Subject: [AFMUG] OT Garrison Keillor
Todays column excerpt: So my friends in Copenhagen are asking, “What’s going on in America that you got so crazy so suddenly?” Danes take an interest in us because their country is flat and if our emissions melt Greenland, they’ll have to move to Norway where the vowels are different and the beer tastes fishy. I tell them: the Big Snapper is the result of a longstanding American dread of meetings. Liberals adore meetings and whenever there is uncertainty in the air — salmon or salad for dinner? The Woody Allen movie or the documentary on income inequality? — they plop down with their lattes and everyone has her or his say, which takes hours and results in a report that leads to a task force and then a twoyear study. The Snapper is not big on meetings. Short attention span and superior intelligence: Let’s go. Get her done. Move on. The second reason for his nomination is The Fascination of the Unthinkable: when the rational fails to satisfy, then why not the counterintuitive? If your car won’t start and you don’t know why, push it over a cliff and watch it blow up. If you’re tired of the same old same old in Washington, why not elect Bob Barker, host of “The Price Is Right”? It’s like having a walrus in church Sunday morning. The minister tries to explain the parable of the vineyard and the walrus says, “BLEAUGHHHHHH.” Which one do you remember for weeks afterward?
