My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.



************

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.




************

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.




************




I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the
carburetor."



I asked her, "Where's the car?"



She replied, "In the lake."




************




The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.




************




I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.




************




My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.



So I got myself two girlfriends.




************




Man is incomplete until he is married.. Then he is finished.




************




A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"



The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."




************




A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."



The next day he received a hundred letters..



They all said the same: "You can have mine."


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