I think there's a) a scam in the new shiny rules, but b) it probably doesn't quite work for unrelated reasons, and c) it'd do a lot of damage to the gamestate if it worked, and have amusing backfiring side effects if it didn't work. So I'm not going to attempt it myself, but I still want to prevent other people trying it. (I'm going to keep the details secret in case changes to the gamestate mean that it can work some time in the future.) As such:
For each of the following players, I cause that player to receive a Welcome Package: ais523, Aris, Murphy, o, Sprocklem, 天火狐, Zachary Watterson, Quazie, Publius Scribonius Scholasticus, tmanthe2nd, Gaelan, Ienpw III, Veggiekeks, omd, V.J. Rada, Bayushi, Ajay Kumar Raja, grok -- ais523