1. Open blackberry battery cover 2. remove battery 3. find 2 pieces of wire 4. take blackberry and wire to nearest wall outlet 5. strip insulation off ends of wire 6. insert one end of each wire into wall outlet 7. touch other ends to battery contacts on blackberry. 8. If still conscious, replace battery and battery cover 9. take blackberry to your wireless providers nearest store 10. Tell them your phone doesn't work and you want an android boased phone instead 11. come back to the Beginners mailing list and ask "How do I install a .apk on my ANDROID phone".
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