I think that this question needs to be looked at in the new light of brain differences between males and females. I'm not talking about differences in size but in the documented differences in cognitive patterns and perception. Woemn are more able to catch on to the subtle signs of flirting than men. We need to look at it in terms of the different mating strategies and needs taken by men and women. I would venture to say, from an evolutionary perspective, a man's verbal or emotional ability would be low on the list of priorities for women seeking mates. What they would look at in that respect would be the ability to lead, agressiveness to a proper degree, and also ability or other desireable traits. The male's verbal ability or tact would only be needed to sufficiently bring these desireable traits to the female's attention. I know that females throw subtle signs, but if the man is desirable enough, she will make the hints more obvious. Desireable males will have more successful experiences and will therefore also be at an advantage to pick up on these signals or get more "second chances."
In terms of mating, we tend to equate it with "love" or "relationship" but we ignore the fact that this is not necessarily the case in primitive or animal domains. Mating could take place with "enemies" or "rival tribes." It would be in the female's interest to survival to not "show all her cards" regardless of her desire to "court" or "mate." Just imagine if your best friend's girlfriend or wife is flirting with you. Would she openly say, "I'm attracted to you," or "I want to have sex with you"? She would want the option of pretending there was nothing she was hinting at, in case you didn't bite the bait and also want the option of claiming that she wasn't the one to "initiate" it or that "it just happened."
I think the issue is that courting signals are complex and not amibiguous.
Sam Baron
Edward Dodson wrote:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]">Ed Dodson responding..
Francois-Rene Rideau wrote:On Wed, Nov 29, 2000 at 07:59:35AM -0700, Chris Rasch wrote:I think that one purpose flirting serves is to separate the verbally fluent,
socially adept males from their clumsier brethren. Verbally fluent,
socially adept males are more likely to succeed at [...]Yes, but this skill is only interesting to the female if she can
assume it will be used for her (and her offspring's) benefit rather
than detriment. Thus, whatever criteria will be used must be more complex.
Ed Dodson here:
I wonder whether observation of women who are highly educated, engaged in some
type of professional work and essentially economically self-sufficient would yield
results unique to women with this set of "assets." Flirtation may be consciously
avoided as a non-productive use of time. College students, on the other hand, are
more likely to be in receptive to non-productive uses of time, so that flirtations
that result in casual physical relationships -- with minimal emotional demands --
fulfill their particular needs at that particular time in life.
