Was wondering recently that if I wasn't so impressed and amazed with AR as a person....his cool personality, humility, simplicity, compassion, integrity, wit, etc. etc., would I still love his music as much as I do now? But, then again, I further thought that perhaps without those exceptional personal qualities, his music wouldn't be as pure, sincere, honest, potent, and overall likeable as we hear it now. When I hear Rahman's music, I also hear his personality, and all the good qualities I described above. Maybe because I'm so intensely interested in his life, his career......so devoted to him, that the man and music are one for me, not able to separate easily as 2 distinct entities. But, I also feel very strongly that Rahman is exceptionally talented in bringing the deep qualities of his inner self to the fore through his music, which is why his music is so emotionally concentrated and loved so widely. This is surely a type of emotional intelligence.
Surely, art.....and music being an art, is an expression of a person's most inner world......the imagination, creativity......all of that comes from the deepest of wells within an artist. When we see, feel, or hear an artistic expression, we are bearing witness at some level to a person's core self uninhibited by the masked persona that we all are so pressured to give out to the public world due to our various roles in life. Artistic expression is really the self in its pure, naked form, which surely invites some degree of stark exposure and vulnerability at some level. On the flip side, when I hear music from a composer who I don't particularly like as a person gathered from comments, interviews, remarks, etc. (the likes of Anu Malik, Ismail Durbar, Nadeem Saifi, Jagjit Singh, etc.).....you know......the arrogant, egotistical, loudmouthed, self aggrandizing types, it is unfortunate for me that those undesirable personal qualities do have an effect on to what extent I can truly enjoy their musical expressions, despite my best attempts to attune to the benefit of the doubt that these are not inherently "bad" people, and the fact that their beautiful creations are a sure testament to qualities of goodness contained. But, in the end, the taint is felt......something that I wish I could be ignorant about on some level. Recent example, after hearing Jagjit Singh's bitter tirade towards ARR's achievements, his ghazals simply did not sound as sweet as they used to be for me. And again, I admit that as something personal to me, not an objective stance. The package of AR Rahman binds so many shades and levels of him as a person and his artistic intentions. I feel completely grateful, on this end of the spectrum, to be able to be sensitive to this bound, all in one expression that combines the person and the creation within its symbiotic shell.
