with thanks to Tina
New Words for the 21st Century
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary: 
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed 
or a project failed, and who was responsible. 
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on 
everything, and then leaves. 
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and 
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. 
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to 
get screwed and die in the end. 
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. 
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, 
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. 
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. 
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn 
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with 
the kids. 
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney. 
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the 
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. 
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. 
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find 
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. 
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic 
device to get it to work again. 
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank 
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly 
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not 
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. 
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no 
matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. 
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've 
just made a BIG mistake. 
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks. 

 
Shafqat Ayaz


"Break the Rules, Forgive Quickly, Kiss Slowly, Love Truly, Laugh 
Uncontrollably, And Never Regret anything that made you Smile.." 


      
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