Drug dealers: o Refer to their clients as "users". o "The first one's free!" o Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). o Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E". o Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. o Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes. o Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. o Their product causes unhealthy addictions. o Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.
Software developers: o Refer to their clients as "users". o "Download a free trial version..." o Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). o Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM" o Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. o Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines. o Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. o Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. o Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! -----Original Message----- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Darrell Reading Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 9:08 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Friday Humor I always wondered why that one store always needed those dividers replenished... Darrell Reading Systems Engineer Phone 479.204.5739 dere...@wal-mart.com Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 805 Moberly Lane, MS-0560-68 Bentonville, AR 72716 Save Money. Live Better -----Original Message----- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 07:37 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT:Friday Humor Subject: FW: The Future for Laid off Employees After a company gets rid of all its bloated staff, this is what they will have to choose from at their new Wal-Mart pay scales. ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true...) TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.' (keep shuddering!!) FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....' PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!! FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. Brunette, by the way!! SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!' Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services christopher.pru...@hp.com<mailto:mary.jo...@hp.com> www.hp.com<http://www.hp.com/> Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ________________________________________________________________________ _______ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are" ----------------------------------------- ********************************************************************** This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error destroy it immediately. ********************************************************************** Wal-Mart Confidential ********************************************************************** _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are" _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"
