A very good one indeed.

If only we keep can keep an open mind, we wouldn't be in the mess we are.


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At 7:39 AM -0800 11/14/02, D Deka wrote:
>A beautiful article by Karan Thappar
>
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>Dil Deka
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>==========
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>I first met Father Terry three months before my marriage.  Nisha, a Goan
>Catholic, wanted a church wedding and although that was fine by me I
>bristled at the prospect of three formal �instructions� prior to the
>event. I suppose the terminology put me off. �I�m damned if my kids will
>be forced into Catholicism,� I would declare with misplaced passion. I
>can�t recall how Nisha assuaged my temper but when I met Father Terry for
>the first of these sessions I was irritable to say the least.
>
>
>
>He offered sherry. I was taken aback. It was six in the evening and
>although I�m not averse to a tot I had not expected it from him. Our
>conversation flowed, like a river in torrent, sometimes loud and forceful,
>sometimes full and serene, occasionally like the rapids, short, sharp and
>staccato. We covered a range of subjects but religion or Catholicism was
>not amongst them. I enjoyed myself. Father filled my glass frequently and
>I drank without care.
>
>
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>The hour passed swiftly and when we rose to leave Father asked if next
>month on the same date would be convenient. I nodded. We were almost out
>of the door when his voice stopped us.
>
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>
>�I�ve a question and I wonder if you would answer it next time,� he began.
>�Why aren�t the two of you living together?�
>
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>The fact was we were. We had lied when we gave Father Terry different
>addresses.  Both Nisha and I thought the truth best kept secret. After
>all, you don�t tell a Catholic priest you�re living in sin.
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>That was Father�s disarming way of telling us he knew, or had guessed or
>couldn�t care less. I�m not sure which it was.  But it sealed our
>friendship. I was still 26 and for me he became the most enlightened man
>in the world.
>
>
>
>Despite the fact Nisha was marrying a Hindu, Father agreed to a wedding
>with a full Catholic mass. At the time I didn�t appreciate how unusual
>this was. I even failed to grasp the significance of his suggestion I
>should choose from the Gita one of the two readings.  Not knowing the book
>I did not.  So he chose one from Khalil Gibran. I asked if this
>cross-cultural ecumenism was permitted by the Church. I can never forget
>his reply.
>
>
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>�It�s not where it comes from that matters,� he said. �It�s what it says
>that counts.�
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>
>Six years later when Nisha was dying and I struggled to do what she would
>want I knew I had the answer when I remembered Father Terry. After a month
>in coma with encephalitis the doctors had declared her brain-stem dead. I
>agreed they could switch off the machines at 5.00 p.m. on Sunday, the 22nd
>of April. As the painful last hours and minutes ticked by, it was a sombre
>group that gathered around her hospital bed.
>
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>I won�t say Father brought hope but when he walked in at 4.30 p.m. he
>brought a sense of light. The gloom lifted even if it did not dispel. He
>held Nisha�s hand as the machines wound down and her life ebbed away. 
>From the day we first met, drinking his sherry whilst hiding our secret,
>she had admired, respected and grown to like him.
>
>
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>Today I realise Father Terry�s Catholicism is different to the Pope�s. But
>he�s the only priest I�ve ever known. Perhaps there are more like him. May
>be they are all the same. Yet each time religion becomes a source of
>conflict � and God knows that happens all too often in our country � I
>think of him. It helps restore the balance.
>
>
>
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