Horror Of Horrors..!
Robert Clements
Very few people in the country know about the nightmare our beloved Home Minister had the other night. It took the best of doctors and the strongest of sedatives to calm the minister after the horrible experience.
It happened like this:
The Home Minister looked out of his window at the stretch of land where Pakistan lay. There was no Pakistan there. All that existed was empty space.
"Where is Pakistan?" screamed the Home Minister to his P.A.
"Sir, Pakistan disappeared in the night Sir."
"It can�t be," screamed the Home Minister as the phone rang and the Prime Minister came onto the line.
"Advaniji, Pakistan has disappeared," shouted the Prime Minister jubilantly on the other end. "We can withdraw our troops! No more war! No more tension! No more beating up each other�s diplomats! Advanijee, Advanijee!"
"What are we going to do?" shouted the horrified Home Minister.
"No more cricket matches," shouted his P.A.
"No more bus rides to Karachi," shouted the Prime Minister.
"What am I going to do?" shouted the Home Minister. " Who can I blame now for violence in the cities? Who can I accuse for poverty in the villages? Who can I criticize for hatred in the country? What am I going to do? No foreign hand can I conjure up now. No ISI can I focus everything onto..!"
The telephone rang in the Home Minister�s dream and it was the Human Resources Minister at the other end.
"Advanijee, Advanijee, the minorities have disappeared."
"What..!" shouted the Home Minister in horror.
"Advanijee, no more Christians to forcibly convert us!"
"What are we going to do?" asked the Home Minister with horror.
"No more Muslims to stop us from building the temple..!
"What am I going to do?" screamed the Home Minister.
"Advanijee, Advanijee..!"
"What am I going to do?" screamed the Home Minister shrilly. "How will we ever win another election? Will I even win a seat again? With no yatra ride to get me votes. With no inflammatory speeches to make. What are we going to do?"
The Home Minister looked out of his window at the millions of people who stood outside.
"We want food!" they shouted.
"Water!"
"Give us law and order."
The doctors tried hard, the sedatives worked and the Home Minister was put to sleep. His night was restless and relatives say his tranquilized tongue cried out in agony. He woke up next day and walked to the window. He smiled as he saw the enemy flag waving, he grinned as he heard the church bells ringing. He laughed as he felt a mullah�s warm embrace.
"It was a terrible nightmare..!" said the Home Minister to the Prime Minister that evening, but said no more.
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