Re: Girl I love
@Nocturnus, a beautiful post, thumbs up. I'm not sure how much I agree but rather than carping I'll just let it stand.
@Ishen, you say you love a girl and talk about respecting someone's feelings then you instantly go back on it by saying she's boring or says random things or you ask why she insists on things etc.
Would you say that about one of your guy friends? As I said, if you can't be friends, you can't love someone, indeed there are far too many bad mariages and bad relationships that start because two people are attracted physically and infatuated, but are not friends and have completely incompatible personalities.
Either A, you are friends with this girl in which case that friendship might lead to something else, or B, you arne't. or C, (as Afrim said), this girl sees you as just wanting a relationship and is avoiding you because your not being her friend.
After all, there are just as many unpleasant g
irls as there are guys and it's quite possible to not! like someone, or still worse, be physically attracted to someone who is a complete and total git, in which case, get far away and rethink your life.
@Afrim, The situation you describe with your friend is one I've been in many times at university and I have several extremely good friends who I met that way who are and have and will always be just friends. Indeed for some odd reason (I don't know why), girls are raather more prone to talk to me as a friend than guys, ---- though admitedly that might be just a case of interest and personality and the fact I don't run around drinking lots of beer and only ever thinking about football .
As I said, I originally just saw my lady as a friend and we interacted as friends online for several months with neither of us considering anything else, ----
actually she considered a little more than I did apparently, though not ever in a real overt sence or in any way I knew about.
What distinguishes love from friendship and the chemistry that works on it is a mysterious process indeed as Nocturnus said, but it definitely is something quite specific and you know when you find it.
The only thing I disagree about is that the girl will make her attentions known. Unfortunately that's one area where society is still rather backwards, since it's still! the guy who is expected, even among friends to make the first move most of the time, and this can be a killer for anyone who doesn't know how or isn't prepared to.
Even with my lady and I, that initial step was pretty painful and rather difficult and it still amazes me she feels towards me as she does.
@Ironcross, good advice. It's however precisely due to the fact that you need to be spending a huge amount of time with the person that you sho uld be friends first. My lady is my best friend, we spend a huge amount of time together, have similar interests, indeed it sometimes amazes me how easily things did! work out given both of us are usually intraverts and my flat where we are currently living is fairly small.
Communication really does matter, but if things work out that communication is on a variety of different levels, emotional, verbal, yes, physical and something I can only describe as spiritual. But your not going to find this with someone you don't even like or someone who just has long hair and clear skin .
_______________________________________________ Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
