Re: randomly generated complaints about AGNet admins.
My complaint about Mr. Santa Claus
This is an open letter, which you are welcome to use as you wish. I want as many people as possible to know that Mr. Santa Claus likes the sound of his own voice. First and foremost, Santa keeps saying that society is supposed to be lenient towards disingenuous carpetbaggers of one sort or another. This is exemplary of the nonsensical rhetoric and scaremongering that typifies the language of insolent trolls and other unprincipled loudmouths. His entourage appears to be growing in number. I truly pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that it wasn't so long ago that people like you and me were free to put his diversivolent subliminal psywar campaigns to the question. Recently, that's become a lot harder to do. What happened that changed things so much? To put it briefly, Santa Claus happened. By arresting and detaining his critics indefinitely without charge, without trial, and without access to legal counsel, Santa has managed to weave his dimwitted traits, inerudite screeds, and ophidian jeers into a rich tapestry that is sure to instill resentment, divide society, and destroy self-reliance.
I have frequently criticized Santa's unspoken plan to move increasingly towards the establishment of a totalitarian Earth. He usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of insurrectionism, negativism, child molestation, and halitosis. Santa hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that seizing control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others is a mug's game. The only reason he does things like that is because he should stop bombarding us with his politically incorrect glaikery. In this context, the opposite of political incorrectness is not political correctness but rather an objective quest for knowledge. As we all know, most ill-tempered, irritating boneheads lack any knowledge about how there's long been a specter of antagonism floating throughout our society. However, no one has ever given it a national megaphone—until now. In particular, by establishing a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that exploit public sympathy in order to bolster support for his amoral, headstrong excuses, Santa has made it perfectly clear that if he is going to supplant one form of injustice with another, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, his circulars are somewhere between a scam and a sham. And second, he truly believes that his decisions are based on reason. I hope you realize that that's just a coprophagous pipe dream from a bad-tempered pipe and that in the real world, Santa ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:
Fact: An axiom among Santa's admirers is that Santa can override nature.
Fact: This whole discussion has turned into a war of words between a few people.
Fact: Santa's fixation with sordid spielers is inarticulate.
In addition, Santa emphatically denounces all of my evidence that his hypocrisy has reached a new low. He does so in a manner strongly reminiscent of the denunciation sessions once held in the Soviet Union and Communist China for those who deviated from the ideological line of those who held power. What's scary about that is that Santa is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Santa is careerism. Why? Personally, I don't believe the answer has anything to do with warlordism. Rather, I believe it involves Santa's tendency to redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with.
Santa plans to tap into the national resurgence of overt expansionism. I don't know if Santa's surrogates are complicit in that scheme or are merely clueless. I do know, however, that there is an alternative to lying down passively for the executioner. The alternative is to provide ordinary people with the theoretical and methodological tools needed to critically analyze Santa's obiter dicta from a sociological perspective. In particular, Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that Santa's list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that he refers to almost everyone he dislikes as “ugly”. Consequently, when I made some disparaging remarks about Santa's ipse dixits, the choicest word Santa found for me was—wait for it—"ugly". My purpose in telling you this is not to highlight Santa's limited vocabulary but rather to remind you that Santa's suggestions are unrealistic. But the problems with Santa's offhand remarks don't end there. The bottom line is very simple: Mr. Santa Claus's anecdotes will have consequences, intended and otherwise.
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