Re: I need help eliminating visual schizophrenia and synesthesia
I apologize if I post too much in this topic. If I get a spam warn, I understand why. The reason I have been ignoring that fact that I haven’t accepted blindness is because I’ve been holding on to the less than 1% chance of getting it back. My optic nerve is damaged, and glaucoma detached my retinas, so there is no hope in getting my sight back. But I have held on to that less than 1%, and that is causing my whole life to spiral out of control. I need to abandon it.
I have heard many stories of people who have lost their sight, and when the technology came available, they preferred not to have it. I always disagreed with them, because look at how many societal problems we face! BUt I never considered the personal damage they experienced. Maybe they held onto that 1%. Maybe they were afraid they would gain their vision and then lose it again, just to have the scale of damage double or triple. Maybe they could only get a tiny speck of sight back, which would probably be my case.
The question in the end is: is it really worth it to damage my whole personal life with a 1% dream that might only recover the smallest bit of light, not enough to make a difference? Maybe I would heal alll the way, but that is not likely with detached retinas and damage to the optic nerve. I have been trying to ignore everyone’s warnings.
But even after all of this, it feels wrong to give up the 1%. It has destroyed my life, but somehow it makes me feel like I gave up on getting sight back. How can I accept it, and live with that acceptance? Can I have everyone’s story please?
-- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
