Re: Bye!
It's no longer strictly a personal attack. It's just an attack though. Generally we frown on people calling the group of us "whiny entitled little shits" or whatnot.
I'd like to present exhibit C of transphobia though.
Everyone's freaking the hell out that Haily, while going through an obviously difficult life phase and after facing a lot of unnecessary jerkishness from this forum as well as from goodness knows who and what and wherever else, lashed out at the community. When you say she shouldn't have done that, you're dead right.
But where were you when the literally hundreds of community attacks like this happened? From people who get mad at being caught forking? From people who get upset because someone won't help them? From people who just want to blow up for the sake of blowing up?
Rhetorical question, but why is it that Haily's mistakes are being highlighted so much and so strongly? Is it maybe, just maybe, that she has to be on a pedestal or else she's "not a good trans woman", or not allowed to use a Scottish accent? Is it maybe, just maybe, that all of her faults are being magnified because we've been systematically denying you the ability to target her in other ways here? Because for some of you, at least, that looks awfully likely. I can't be perfectly sure, but one thing is extremely clear. The sheer backlash from even one of her posts is far out of sync with equal posts from other users who aren't trans and aren't trying to adopt a different accent. Hell, I don't even think Sam and Mason got this much negative feedback, and even where they did (because some people were rather unkind, it's true) most of it was not quite so mean-spirited.
I just want some of you to really stare yourselves in the face right now. Okay, Haily went off the high side, said things she shouldn't have. Fine, you won't catch me saying that it's okay because it's not. But why is it an earth-shattering event when she does it, while only being annoying when others do it?? Why are you so upset, so incensed that you have to attack, snipe, make snide comments and generally pot-stir? What do you gain from it? Are you vindicated at kicking Haily when she's clearly struggling? Do you think she deserves it? Are you really, truly, actually hurt by her outburst, and if you aren't, then why are you acting hurt? Do you think you have some standard to uphold, something else to protect that means you need to be a jerk right back to someone who's done something they shouldn't? And most importantly, what does this apparently increased responsiveness and sensitivity in this situation say about you?
Really analyze that one. Because I will be. I pay attention to the way people say things, the choices they make when they speak or write, the picture they put across. Every time you make a post, you're making a deliberate decision, and it's being weighed in the landscape I form about each of you where it comes to the way I interact with you. Calling out Haily's behaviour is totally understandable. Calling out Haily herself in the way that's been done is not. Get over yourselves. Learn to think before you open your mouths, and to better manage the impressions you give people. Because in a case like this, those impressions will be a part of how I view you if I should feel the need to interact with you in my capacity as a staff member.
That's not intended as a threat, either. It's just a fact.
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