The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of
the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
(A DC-9 captain trainee
attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320.)
"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." It only takes two things to
fly: airspeed and money.
The similarity between air
traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If
ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
It's better to break ground
and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.
The difference between flight
attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when
it gets to the gate.
A copilot is a knot head
until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it
sooner.
Without ammunition the USAF
would be just another expensive flying club.
If something hasn't broken on
your helicopter, it's about to.
I give that landing a 9 . . .
on the Richter scale.
Basic Flying
Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air. 2. Do not go near the edges of it. 3. The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there. Unknown landing signal
officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got
to land here son, this is where the food is."
***And a personal
favourite:
New FAA motto: "We're not happy, till you're not happy. |
- [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Peter Stephenson
- [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Peter Stephenson
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Mike Borgelt
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Rob & Colleen Moore
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Mike Borgelt
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jok... Brian Wade
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes David Lawley
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes glenn McLean
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Brian Wade
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jokes Mike Borgelt
- Re: [aus-soaring] Flying Jok... glenn McLean