Hi Alanna, all, Please see online for points not covered by Bo and Mahesh.
Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : [email protected] <[email protected]> > Envoyé : mardi 12 août 2025 07:47 > À : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET <[email protected]>; > [email protected]; [email protected]; > [email protected]; [email protected]; > [email protected] > Cc : [email protected]; [email protected]; opsawg- > [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected] > Objet : [AD] Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9833 <draft-ietf-opsawg-teas- > common-ac-15> for your review > > > Authors, AD, > > * Mahesh (as AD), please reply to #5. > > While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as > necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML > file. > > 1) <!--[rfced] To avoid back-to-back use of "For example", may we > update the second occurrence as follows? > > Original: > For example, a > server can be a network controller or a router in a provider > network. > > For example, a bearer request is first created using a name > which > is assigned by the client, but if this feature is supported, > the > request will also include a server-generated reference. > > Perhaps: > For example, a > server can be a network controller or a router in a provider > network. > > As another example, a bearer request is first created using a > name that > is assigned by the client, but if this feature is supported, > the > request will also include a server-generated reference. > --> [Med] The two "for example" are not targeting the same illustration purpose. I suggest the following: NEW: Typically, a server can be a network controller or a router in a provider network. For example, a bearer request is first created using a name .. > > > 2) <!--[rfced] To improve readability, may we update "to" to > "for"? > > Original: > * 'bw-per-site': The bandwidth is to all ACs that belong to > the > same site. > > Perhaps: > 'bw-per-site': The bandwidth is for all ACs that belong to the > same site. > --> [Med] WFM. > > > 3) <!-- [rfced] We note that the following reference is cited only > in the YANG module. In order to have a 1:1 matchup between the > references section and the text, may we add the following > reference entry to the Normative References and add it to the list > of citations preceding the YANG module? > > Original: > This module uses types defined in [RFC6991], [RFC8177], and > [RFC9181]. > > Perhaps: > This module uses types defined in [RFC6991], [RFC8177], > [RFC9181], and [IEEE_802.1Q]. > ... > [IEEE_802.1Q] > IEEE, "IEEE Standard for Local and Metropolitan Area > Networks-Bridges and Bridged Networks", IEEE Std > 802.1Q- > 2022, DOI 10.1109/IEEESTD.2022.10004498, December > 2022, > > <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2 > Fdoi.org%2F10.1109%2FIEEESTD.2022.10004498&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed. > boucadair%40orange.com%7Cb04d660620ba404f72a008ddd963a4c2%7C90c7a2 > 0af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638905744161907200%7CUnknown% > 7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJX > aW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ko7BKU > Ti7jOQ5pgcfpzygjwgl6E9GK8doLgc1QinxGY%3D&reserved=0>. > --> > > > 4) <!--[rfced] FYI, the YANG module has been updated per the > formatting option of pyang. Please let us know any concerns. > --> > > > 5) <!--[rfced] *AD - We note that there is some text in the > Security Considerations that differs from the template on > <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2 > Fwiki.ietf.org%2Fgroup%2Fops%2Fyang-security- > guidelines&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cb04d660 > 620ba404f72a008ddd963a4c2%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7 > C0%7C638905744161926989%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOn > RydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoy > fQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=p%2FvohFzoDuUWHt5BCx0K5FHquTjIDJpwXDha > Pu0b2QU%3D&reserved=0>. Please > review and let us know if the text is acceptable. Specifically: > > - Paragraph 5 matches the template except for the last sentence > is an addition. Paragraph 6 does not seem to correspond to the > template. > > - This sentence is not present, although the template says to > include it. > "There are no particularly sensitive RPC or action operations." > If it should be added, should it be at the end of the section? > --> > > > 6) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "type" attribute of each > sourcecode element > in the XML file to ensure correctness. If the current list of > preferred > values for "type" > (https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2 > Fwww.rfc-editor.org%2Frpc%2Fwiki%2Fdoku.php%3Fid%3Dsourcecode- > types&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cb04d660620ba > 404f72a008ddd963a4c2%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C > 638905744161945376%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWU > sIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D > %3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=%2Bl0h6cSW9rr33d4FpRLgrORQtKKYvv8OLlY5GH7lV > Kw%3D&reserved=0) > does not contain an applicable type, then feel free to let us > know. > Also, it is acceptable to leave the "type" attribute not set. > --> > > > 7) <!--[rfced] Abbreviation > > a) FYI - We have added expansions for the following abbreviation > per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review > each > expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness. > > Operations, Administration, and Maintenance (OAM) > > [Med] ACK. > b) Both the expansion and the acronym for the following terms are > used > throughout the document. Would you like to update to using the > expansion upon > first usage and the acronym for the rest of the document? > > Attachment Circuit (AC) > Service Function (SF) > --> > [Med] I think the changes you already made in the edited version are great. No further change is needed here. Thanks > > 8) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of > the online > Style Guide > <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2 > Fwww.rfc- > editor.org%2Fstyleguide%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language&data=05%7C > 02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cb04d660620ba404f72a008ddd963 > a4c2%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C6389057441619585 > 39%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDA > wMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C > &sdata=lDoWkEDPBYYu83IP3zA9A0fhnNnn%2BkIfx4uGSQsuA%2Fo%3D&reserved > =0> > and let us know if any changes are needed. 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Boucadair, R. Roberts, O. Gonzalez de Dios, > S. Barguil Giraldo, B. Wu > WG Chair(s) : Joe Clarke, Benoît Claise > Area Director(s) : Mohamed Boucadair, Mahesh Jethanandani > ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration, Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci. This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law; they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation. 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