Hi all, 

Thank you for the careful edits.

Please see inline. I let my co-authors further comment as needed.

Cheers,
Med (as author)

PS: We will need to update Richard's contact info as he changed affiliation but 
I don't have yet his new @ address.

> -----Message d'origine-----
> De : [email protected] <[email protected]>
> Envoyé : vendredi 24 octobre 2025 02:03
> À : [email protected]; [email protected];
> [email protected]; BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET
> <[email protected]>;
> [email protected]
> Cc : [email protected]; [email protected]; teas-
> [email protected]; [email protected];
> [email protected]; [email protected]
> Objet : Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9889 <draft-ietf-teas-5g-ns-ip-mpls-
> 18> for your review
> 
> Authors,
> 
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as
> necessary) the following questions, which are also in the source
> file.
> 
> 1) <!-- [rfced] We updated the abbreviated title (only appears in
> the running header in the PDF output) as follows to more closely
> align with the document title. Please let us know if you prefer
> otherwise.
> 
> Original:
>   Implementing 5G Transport Slices
> 
> Updated:
>   Realization of Network Slices for 5G Networks
> -->

[Med] OK

> 
> 
> 2) <!-- [rfced] This is a question for Luis. How would you like
> for your initials to appear in the first-page header? For now, we
> have updated to "L. Contreras" per the format used in the most
> recent documents you have authored, but we see that some documents
> use "LM. Contreras" in the first-page header.
> 
> L. Contreras - RFCs 9543, 9439, 9013
> LM. Contreras - RFCs 8597, 8568, 8432, 7161, 7028
> -->
> 
> 
> 3) <!-- [rfced] How may we update these sentences to improve
> readability of "5G slicing connectivity service objectives" and
> "currently commonly"?
> 
> Original:
>    This document describes a Network Slice realization model for
> IP/MPLS
>    networks with a focus on the Transport Network fulfilling 5G
> slicing
>    connectivity service objectives.  The realization model reuses
> many
>    building blocks currently commonly used in service provider
> networks.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    This document describes a Network Slice realization model for
> IP/MPLS
>    networks with a focus on the Transport Network fulfilling the
> connectivity
>    service objectives for 5G slicing.  The realization model
> reuses many
>    building blocks commonly used in service provider networks at
> the current time.
> -->
> 

[Med] The proposed one works for me. Thanks. 

> 
> 4) <!-- [rfced] Section 1 of RFC 9543 notes the following:
> 
>    It is intended that the terms "IETF Network Slice" and "IETF
> Network
>    Slice Service" be used only in this document.  Other documents
> that
>    need to indicate the type of network slice or network slice
> service
>    described in this document can use the terms "RFC 9543 Network
> Slice"
>    and "RFC 9543 Network Slice Service".
> 
> Based on this, should "IETF Network Slice Service" and "IETF
> Network Slice" in the sentences below be updated to "RFC 9543
> Network Slice Service" and "RFC
> 9543 Network Slice", respectively?
> 

[Med] Yes, please.

> Original:
>    Mapping
>    considerations between 3GPP and IETF Network Slice Service
> (e.g.,
>    mapping of service parameters) are discussed, e.g., in
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-5g-network-slice-application].
>    ...
>    Data Confidentiality and Integrity of an IETF Network Slice:
> As desc
>       ribed in Section 5.1.2.1 of [RFC9543], the customer might
> request
>       a Service Level Expectation (SLE) that mandates encryption.
> -->
> 
> 
> 5) <!-- [rfced] We have a few questions about the sentence below
> (which is also mentioned in the question above).
> 
> a) How may we revise "Mapping considerations between 3GPP and IETF
> Network Slice Service" to improve clarity?
> 
> b) Is the second "e.g." needed?

[Med] Yes, this is to highlight that [NS-APP] is just an example of documents 
where that is discussed.

> 
> Original:
>    Mapping
>    considerations between 3GPP and IETF Network Slice Service
> (e.g.,
>    mapping of service parameters) are discussed, e.g., in
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-5g-network-slice-application].
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Considerations regarding the mapping between the 5G Network
> Slice Service
>    and RFC 9543 Network Slice Service (e.g., mapping of service
> parameters)
>    are discussed in [NS-APP].
> -->

[Med] The OLD is accurate. We may: s/ are discussed, e.g., in/ are discussed in 
documents such as

> 
> 
> 6) <!-- [rfced] Figure 4 contains "SW" and "RTR", which are not
> used elsewhere in the document. We believe these stand for
> "switch" and "router", respectively.
> May we update this sentence in one of the following ways to make
> this clear?
> 
> Original:
>    An example of distributed CE is the
>    realization of an interconnection using a L3VPN service based
> on a
>    distributed CE composed of a switch (Layer 2) and a router
> (Layer 3)
>    (Figure 4).
> 
> Perhaps:
>    An example of distributed CE is the
>    realization of an interconnection using an L3VPN service based
> on a
>    distributed CE composed of a switch (SW) in Layer 2 and a
> router (RTR)
>    in Layer 3, as shown in Figure 4.

[Med] This one is better. thanks

> 
> Or:
>    An example of distributed CE is the
>    realization of an interconnection using an L3VPN service based
> on a
>    distributed CE composed of a switch (Layer 2) and a router
> (Layer 3);
>    see SW and RTR in Figure 4.
> -->
> 
> 
> 7) <!-- [rfced] Are the two instances of "(AC)" needed here?
> 
> Original:
>    Examples of ACs are Virtual Local Area
>    Networks (VLANs) (AC) configured on a physical interface
> (bearer) or
>    an Overlay VXLAN EVI (AC) configured on an IP underlay
> (bearer).
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Examples of ACs are Virtual Local Area
>    Networks (VLANs) configured on a physical interface (bearer) or
>    an Overlay VXLAN EVI configured on an IP underlay (bearer).

[Med] AC mentions are needed. Maybe s/(AC)/AC

> -->
> 
> 
> 8) <!-- [rfced] Is "End-to-End" intended to be part of the
> expansion for "5G NSO"?
> 
> Original:
>    In reference to Figure 6, a 5G End-to-End Network Slice
> Orchestrator
>    (5G NSO) is responsible for orchestrating 5G Network Slices
> end-to-
>    end.

[Med] This is accurate. This term is also used to ensure consistency with other 
docs

> 
> Perhaps:
>    In Figure 6, a 5G Network Slice Orchestrator
>    (5G NSO) is responsible for orchestrating 5G Network Slices
> end-to-
>    end.
> -->
> 
> 
> 9) <!-- [rfced] Should "various orchestration" in this sentence be
> updated to either "various orchestration domains" or "various
> orchestrations"? Also, is "e.g." needed in the sentence?
> 

[Med] Idem for a similar "e.g." comment above. That is to insist this is simply 
an example where that component can be found.

> Original:
>    The various orchestration depicted in Figure 6 encompass the
> 3GPP's
>    Network Slice Subnet Management Function (NSSMF) mentioned,
> e.g., in
>    Figure 5 of [I-D.ietf-teas-5g-network-slice-application].
> 
> Perhaps:
>    The various orchestration domains depicted in Figure 6
> encompass the 3GPP's
>    Network Slice Subnet Management Function (NSSMF) mentioned in
>    Figure 5 of [NS-APP].
> 
> Or:
>    The various orchestrations depicted in Figure 6 encompass the
> 3GPP's
>    Network Slice Subnet Management Function (NSSMF) mentioned in
>    Figure 5 of [NS-APP].

[Med] What about

NEW:
    The various orchestrations depicted in Figure 6 encompass the
    3GPP's Network Slice Subnet Management Function (NSSMF) mentioned for 
instance in
    Figure 5 of [NS-APP].

> -->
> 
> 
> 10) <!-- [rfced] Will readers understand the ">>" notation here?
> We see it defined as "bitwise right shift", "logical right shift",
> and "arithmetic right shift of the two's complement integer
> representation of M by N binary digits" in various RFCs.
> 
> Original:
>       In practice, for operational and scaling reasons, typically
> M to N
>       would be used, with M >> N.
> -->

[Med] This means "much greater than". We can say it explicitly in the text./

> 
> 
> 11) <!-- [rfced] Titles of figures
> 
> a) Should "Site" be plural in this title as Figure 3 shows two
> sites?
> 
> Original:
>   Figure 3: Reference Design with Customer Site and Provider
> Network
> 
> Perhaps:
>   Figure 3: Reference Design with Customer Sites and Provider
> Network

[Med] The proposed one is OK.

> 
> 
> b) Should the title of Figure 9 use "M" rather than "N"? We ask
> because "N to 1" is not included in the list above the figure. The
> list only includes
> "1 to N", "M to 1", and "M to N". Also, may revise the titles of
> Figures 8 and 9 in one of the following ways to improve
> readability?
> 
> Original:
>   Figure 8: 1 (5G Slice) to N (TN Slice) Mapping
>   Figure 9: N (5G Slice) to 1 (TN Slice) Mapping
> 
> Perhaps:
>   Figure 8: 1-to-N Mapping
>   Figure 9: M-to-1 Mapping
> 
> Or:
>   Figure 8: 1-to-N Mapping (Single 5G Slice to Multiple TN Slices)
>   Figure 9: M-to-1 Mapping (Multiple 5G Slices to Single TN Slice)

[Med] This one is better.

> 
> 
> c) FYI - We added "Example of" to the title of Figure 16 to align
> with the title of Figure 15.
> 
> Original:
>   Figure 15: Example of MPLS Hand-off with Option B
> 
>   Figure 16: MPLS Hand-off with Option C
> 
> Updated:
>   Figure 15: Example of MPLS Handoff with Option B
> 
>   Figure 16: Example of MPLS Handoff with Option C
> 

[Med] ACK

> 
> d) Is "Ingress" correct in the title of Figure 21, or should it be
> updated to "Egress"?

[Med] Ingress is correct here

 Also, is "Output" needed?

[Med] It is needed as this is about the output of the admission control at 
ingress

 We included the
> title of Figure 20 below for comparison.
> Original:
>    Figure 20: Ingress Slice Admission Control (5QI-unaware Model)
> 
>    Figure 21: Ingress Slice Admission control (5QI-unaware Model)
> - Output
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Figure 20: Ingress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Unaware Model)
> 
>    Figure 21: Egress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Unaware Model)
> 

[Med] I don't think a change is needed.

> 
> e) FYI - We included "Model" to the parenthetical in these figure
> titles.
> 
> Original:
>    Figure 25: Ingress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Aware) -
> Hierarchical
> 
>    Figure 26: Egress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Aware)
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Figure 25: Ingress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Aware Model) -
> Hierarchical
> 
>    Figure 26: Egress Slice Admission Control (5QI-Aware Model)
> 

[Med] OK

> 
> f) We revised the figure titles below as follows to avoid awkward
> hyphenation with "Mapping". For Figure 28, we also removed "PEs"
> for consistency with the title of Figure 29.
> 
> For the title of Figure 17, should "Slice" be updated to "Network
> Slice", or is the current okay?
> 
> Original:
>   Figure 17: Slice to TN QoS Mapping (5QI-Unaware Model)
>   Figure 22: Slice 5Q QoS to TN QoS Mapping (5QI-Aware Model)
>   Figure 28: Network Slice to PEs Underlay Transport Mapping (5QI-
> Unaware Model)
>   Figure 29: Network Slice to Underlay Transport Mapping (5QI-
> Aware Model)
> 
> Updated:
>   Figure 17: Mapping of Slice to TN QoS (5QI-Unaware Model)
>   Figure 22: Mapping of Slice 5Q QoS to TN QoS (5QI-Aware Model)
>   Figure 28: Mapping of Network Slice to Underlay Transport (5QI-
> Unaware Model)
>   Figure 29: Mapping of Network Slice to Underlay Transport (5QI-
> Aware Model)

[Med] ACK

> -->
> 
> 
> 12) <!-- [rfced] Is "to instruct" the correct word choice here? Or
> would "to determine" or something else be an improvement?
> 
> Original:
>    TN slice mapping policies can be enforced by an operator (e.g.,
>    provided to a TN Orchestration or 5G NSO) to instruct whether
>    existing TN slices can be reused for handling a new slice
> service
>    creation request.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    TN slice mapping policies can be enforced by an operator (e.g.,
>    provided to a TN Orchestration or 5G NSO) to determine whether
>    existing TN slices can be reused for handling a new slice
> service
>    creation request.

[Med] WFM. Thanks.

> -->
> 
> 
> 13) <!-- [rfced] This sentence may be difficult for readers to
> follow because of the many "to.." phrases. How may we update?
> 
> Original:
>       The methods used here can range from careful network
> planning, to
>       ensure a more or less equal traffic distribution (i.e.,
> equal cost
>       load balancing), to advanced TE techniques, with or without
>       bandwidth reservations, to force more consistent load
> distribution
>       even in non-ECMP friendly network topologies.
> 
> Perhaps:
>       The methods used here can range from careful network
> planning that
>       ensures a more or less equal traffic distribution (i.e.,
> equal-cost
>       load balancing) to advanced TE techniques, with or without
>       bandwidth reservations, that force more consistent load
> distribution,
>       even in non-ECMP-friendly network topologies.
> -->

[Med] This is better. Thanks./

> 
> 
> 14) <!-- [rfced] We do not see "F2" used elsewhere in the
> document. Will readers understand what this refers to?
> 
> Original:
>   Since the 5G
>   interfaces are IP-based interfaces (with an exception of the F2
>   fronthaul-interface, where eCPRI with Ethernet encapsulation is
>   used), this VLAN is typically not transported across the
> provider
>   network.
> -->

[Med] That's a well known RAN interface.

> 
> 
> 15) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that "compute" (noun) is the
> correct word choice here.

[Med] I ocnfirm.

> 
> Original:
>    These L3VPN service instances are instantiated in
>    the customer site which could be, for example, either on the
> compute
>    that hosts mobile NFs (Figure 15, left-hand side) or within the
> DC/
>    cloud infrastructure itself (e.g., on the top of the rack or
> leaf
>    switch within cloud IP fabric (Figure 15, right-hand side)).
> -->
> 
> 
> 16) <!-- [rfced] Should "COM-1" here be updated to "COM=1" to
> match the usage in Figure 15?

[Med] Good catch. 

> 
> Original:
>    For example, in Figure 15, for the slice identified with
>    COM-1, the PE advertises a dynamically allocated label A".
> 
> Perhaps:
>    For example, in Figure 15, for the slice identified with
>    COM=1, the PE advertises a dynamically allocated label A".

[Med] OK.

> -->
> 
> 
> 17) <!--[rfced] Please clarify "label swap forwarding entries" in
> this sentence.
> 
> Original:
>    Appropriate label swap forwarding entries
>    for IPv4/IPv6 labeled unicast labels are programmed in the data
>    plane.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Appropriate label swaps of forwarding entries
>    for IPv4/IPv6 labeled unicast labels are programmed in the data
>    plane.
> 
> Or:
>    Appropriate forwarding entries for label swaps
>    for IPv4/IPv6 labeled unicast labels are programmed in the data
>    plane.

[Med] This one is better.

> -->
> 
> 
> 18) <!-- [rfced] How does the text starting with "used as
> NEXT_HOP..." connect to the rest of the sentence?
> 
> Original:
>    This significantly lowers the scaling pressure on
>    PEs, as PEs need to program forwarding entries only for
> IPv4/IPv6
>    labeled unicast host routes, used as NEXT_HOP for service
> prefixes.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    This significantly lowers the scaling pressure on
>    PEs, as PEs need to program forwarding entries only for
> IPv4/IPv6
>    labeled unicast host routes, which are used as NEXT_HOP for
> service prefixes.

[Med] OK

> -->
> 
> 
> 19) <!-- [rfced] The sentence below uses "SRv6 encapsulation"
> while the title of Figure 19 uses "IPv6 Encapsulation". Should
> these be consistent?

[Med] SRv6 is an IPv6 encap, but agree we need to be consistent here. Can 
update the figure to use SRv6. Thanks


 If so, which form should be used?
> 
> Original:
>   This model is outlined in Figure 18 for MPLS
>   encapsulation, and in Figure 19 for SRv6 encapsulation.
>   ...
>   Figure 19: QoS with IPv6 Encapsulation
> -->
> 
> 
> 20) <!-- [rfced] Is the citation [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-
> slice-nbi-yang]
> correct here? We ask because we do not see "slice rate", "CIR", or
> "PIR"
> in that document.
> 
> Link to document:
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> datatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-
> nbi-
> yang%2F&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e79
> 1a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%
> 7C638968614111720449%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRyd
> WUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%
> 3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=6QEFo1%2FRuaxdWJCqJ4gUZVGxUxM8E8YtYmoUbol
> QiFM%3D&reserved=0
> 
> Original:
>    The slice rates can be characterized with following parameters
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang]:
> 
>    *  CIR: Committed Information Rate (i.e., guaranteed bandwidth)
> 
>    *  PIR: Peak Information Rate (i.e., maximum bandwidth)
> -->

[Med] I ocnfirm. Please see 

        |     +--rw incoming-qos-policy
        |     |  +--rw qos-policy-name?   string
        |     |  +--rw rate-limits   <==============================
        |     |     +--rw cir?       uint64 <=======================
        |     |     +--rw cbs?       uint64
        |     |     +--rw eir?       uint64
        |     |     +--rw ebs?       uint64
        |     |     +--rw pir?       uint64 <=======================
        |     |     +--rw pbs?       uint64
        |     |     +--rw classes
        |     |        +--rw cos* [cos-id]
        |     |           +--rw cos-id    uint8
        |     |           +--rw cir?      uint64
        |     |           +--rw cbs?      uint64
        |     |           +--rw eir?      uint64
        |     |           +--rw ebs?      uint64
        |     |           +--rw pir?      uint64
        |     |           +--rw pbs?      uint64

> 
> 
> 21) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that Section 2.3 of [RFC2475] is
> correct here. We do not see "1r2c", "color", or "single rate" in
> [RFC2475].
> 
> Original:
>    *  1r2c (single-rate two-color) rate limiter
> 
>       This is the most basic rate limiter, described in Section
> 2.3 of
>       [RFC2475].
> -->

[Med] There is no RFC that uses 1r2c per se, but basic are defined in that 
Section. I let my coauthor further comment on this as appropriate.

> 
> 
> 22) <!-- [rfced] We updated "provider" to "provider network" in
> the parenthetical in this sentence. Let us know if this is
> incorrect.
> 
> Original:
>    Inbound provider network edge enforcement model for 5QI-unaware
>    model, where all packets belonging to the slice are treated the
> same
>    way in the provider network (no 5Q QoS Class differentiation in
> the
>    provider) is outlined in Figure 20.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Inbound provider network edge enforcement for the 5QI-unaware
>    model, where all packets belonging to the slice are treated the
> same
>    way in the provider network (no 5Q QoS Class differentiation in
> the
>    provider network), is outlined in Figure 20.
> -->

[Med] OK

> 
> 
> 23) <!-- [rfced] Please clarify "most commonly up 4 or 8 traffic
> classes".
> (Also, we suggest removing "granular" as it's redundant with
> "fine-grained".)
> 
> Original:
>    In the 5QI-aware model, compared to the 5QI-unaware model,
> provider
>    network edge resources are controlled in an even more granular,
> fine-
>    grained manner, with dedicated resource allocation for each RFC
> 9543
>    Network Slice and dedicated resource allocation for number of
> traffic
>    classes (most commonly up 4 or 8 traffic classes, depending on
> the
>    Hardware capability of the equipment) within each RFC 9543
> Network
>    Slice.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    In the 5QI-aware model, compared to the 5QI-unaware model,
> provider
>    network edge resources are controlled in an even more fine-
> grained
>    manner, with dedicated resource allocation for each RFC 9543
>    Network Slice and for a number of traffic
>    classes (most commonly, 4 or 8 traffic classes, depending on
> the
>    hardware capability of the equipment) within each RFC 9543
> Network
>    Slice.
> 
> Or:
>    In the 5QI-aware model, compared to the 5QI-unaware model,
> provider
>    network edge resources are controlled in an even more fine-
> grained
>    manner, with dedicated resource allocation for each RFC 9543
>    Network Slice and for a number of traffic
>    classes (most commonly, up to 4 or 8 traffic classes, depending
> on the
>    hardware capability of the equipment) within each RFC 9543
> Network
>    Slice.
> -->

[Med] I like the second one.

> 
> 
> 24) <!-- [rfced] May we update "2024" as follows in these
> sentences?
> 
> Original:
>    However, such an approach is left out of the scope given the
> current
>    state of the technology (2024).
>    ...
>    it is not necessary (or indeed possible for
>    current SR-TE technology in 2024) to reserve bandwidth at the
> network
>    layer.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    However, such an approach is out of the scope given the current
>    state of the technology at the time of writing this document.
>    ...
>    it is not necessary (or indeed possible for
>    current SR-TE technology at the time of writing this document)
> to reserve
>    bandwidth at the network layer.

[Med] ACK.

> -->
> 
> 
> 25) <!-- [rfced] We updated "[I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-
> nbi-yang]" in these sentences to "the YANG data model defined in
> [NSSM]" for clarity. Let us know any concerns.
> 
> Original:
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang] can be used to
> convey all
>    of the information in the traffic matrix to an NSC.
>    ...
>    ...could be used instead of
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang], as they support
>    conveying the bandwidth information in the right-most column of
> the
>    traffic matrix.
>    ...
>    The 5G NSO can
>    use [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang] to request low-
>    latency transport for a given slice if required.
>    ...
>    For example,
>    [I-D.ietf-teas-ietf-network-slice-nbi-yang] exposes a set of
>    statistics per SDP, connectivity construct, and connection
> group.
> 
> Updated:
>    The YANG data model defined in [NSSM] can be used to convey all
> of
>    the information in the traffic matrix to an NSC.
>    ...
>    ...could be used instead of the YANG
>    data model defined in [NSSM], as they support conveying the
> bandwidth
>    information in the right-most column of the traffic matrix.
>    ...
>    The 5G NSO can
>    use the YANG data model defined in [NSSM] to request low-
> latency
>    transport for a given slice if required.
>    ...
>    For example, the YANG data model defined
>    in [NSSM] exposes a set of statistics per SDP, connectivity
>    construct, and connection group.
> -->

[Med] OK

> 
> 
> 26) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that "the paths of one or more
> paths" is correct here.
> 
> Original:
>    In this
>    approach, when the actual traffic volume in the data plane on
> given
>    link exceeds a threshold, the controller, knowing how much
> actual
>    data plane traffic is currently traveling along each RSVP or
> SR-TE
>    path, can tune the paths of one or more paths using the link
> such
>    that they avoid that link.  This approach is similar to that
>    described in Section 4.3.1 of [RFC9522].
> 
> Perhaps:
>    In this
>    approach, when the actual traffic volume in the data plane on
> given
>    link exceeds a threshold, the controller, knowing how much
> actual
>    data plane traffic is currently traveling along each RSVP or
> SR-TE
>    path, can tune one or more paths using the link such
>    that they avoid that link.  This approach is similar to that
>    described in Section 4.3.1 of [RFC9522].

[Med] WFM. I let Julin further comment as needed.

> -->
> 
> 
> 27) <!-- [rfced] FYI - We updated this sentence as follows. Let us
> know any concerns.
> 
> Original:
>    For example, [RFC9375] can be used to report links' one-way
> delay,
>    one-way delay variation, etc.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    For example, the YANG data model in [RFC9375] can be used to
> report
>    the one-way delay and one-way delay variation of links.
> -->
> 

[Med] ACK

> 
> 28) <!-- [rfced] The top-level bullets in the list in Section 8
> are all complete sentences except for the items below. How may we
> revise these to create complete sentences?
> 
> Original:
>    *  Means to report a set of network performance metrics to
> assess
>       whether the agreed slice service objectives are honored.
>    ...
>    *  Means to report and expose observed performance metrics and
> other
>       OAM state to customer.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    *  Providers should provide the means to report a set of
> network
>       performance metrics to assess whether the agreed slice
> service objectives are honored.
>    ...
>    *  Providers should have the means to report and expose
> observed performance
>       metrics and other OAM state to customer.
> -->
> 

[Med] Agree, for consistency.

> 
> 29) <!-- [rfced] The last two sentences mention 1-to-1 mapping and
> N-to-1 mapping, but these are not listed in Section 3.5 (which
> only lists 1 to N, M to 1, and M to N). Please review and let us
> know if any updates are needed.  (The first two sentences are
> included for context.)
> 
> Original:
>    The mapping between 5G slice to TN slices (see Section 3.5) is
> a
>    design choice of service operators that may be a function of,
> e.g.,
>    the number of instantiated slices, requested services, or local
>    engineering capabilities and guidelines.  However, operators
> should
>    carefully consider means to ease slice migration strategies.
> For
>    example, a provider may initially adopt a 1-to-1 mapping if it
> has to
>    instantiate just a few Network Slices and accommodate the need
> of
>    only a few customers.  That provider may decide to move to an
> N-to-1
>    mapping for aggregation/scalability purposes if sustained
> increased
>    slice demand is observed.
> -->

[Med] 1-to-1 is correct as that is when M=1. No change is needed for that one.

We can s/N-to-1/M-to-1 for consistency.

> 
> 
> 30) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we updated the title for this reference to
> match the title at the URL. Please let us know if you prefer
> otherwise.

[Med] OK. Thanks/

> 
> Original:
>    [Book-5G]  Peterson, L., Sunay, O., and B. Davie, "5G Mobile
>               Networks: A Systems Approach", 2022,
> 
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> F5g.systemsapproach.org%2F&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40oran
> ge.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9
> 253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111746835%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8ey
> JFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoi
> TWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=2vt1KkaQdmgAQvCvAUqafN
> 9LIRYDS0LZyjSzZUD0NhE%3D&reserved=0>.
> 
> Current:
>    [Book-5G]  Peterson, L., Sunay, O., and B. Davie, "Private 5G:
> A
>               Systems Approach", 2023,
> 
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> F5g.systemsapproach.org%2F&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40oran
> ge.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9
> 253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111761091%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8ey
> JFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoi
> TWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=FTiPN6gray5gJP%2FoxcB2
> dvaiqIkzgJLwnMmgGTQeJ%2B0%3D&reserved=0>.
> -->
> 
> 
> 31) <!-- [rfced] Would it be helpful to point to specific versions
> of [TS-23.501] and [TS-28.530]? The original date for both
> references was 2024, but there are multiple versions across
> multiple releases from that year, and both also have new 2025
> versions.
> 
> Note that specific sections and figures in [TS-28.530] are
> mentioned in the text. We are not sure if these will be stable
> across versions.

[Med] These are stable. We can use the latest version.

> 
> Current:
>    [TS-23.501]
>               3GPP, "System architecture for the 5G System (5GS)",
> 3GPP
>               TS 23.501,
> 
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fportal.3gpp.org%2Fdesktopmodules%2FSpecifications%2F&data=05%7C02
> %7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919f
> f3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111774898
> %7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwM
> CIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&s
> data=S4974p94h%2FSUJddE8seGot%2B01k81IUbE3HNX3dY96A8%3D&reserved=0
>               SpecificationDetails.aspx?specificationId=3144>.
>    ...
> 
>    [TS-28.530]
>               3GPP, "Management and orchestration; Concepts, use
> cases
>               and requirements", 3GPP TS 28.530,
> 
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fportal.3gpp.org%2Fdesktopmodules%2FSpecifications%2F&data=05%7C02
> %7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919f
> f3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111789256
> %7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwM
> CIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&s
> data=0pB3%2FfLqJux%2Bk6Ga9wnLs5hFrPKSAN1VMtnSdwf%2BriQ%3D&reserved
> =0
>               SpecificationDetails.aspx?specificationId=3273>.
> -->
> 
> 
> 32) <!-- [rfced] The current URL for this reference
> (https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fwww.o-
> ran.org%2Fspecifications&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange
> .com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b925
> 3b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111802916%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJF
> bXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTW
> FpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=k6rrGZv2X6%2Fkj96YzGOcpy
> xwwNzMYAfAsFxJM%2BJtyuw%3D&reserved=0) goes to a page titled "O-
> RAN Specifications". We were able to find a list of O-RAN
> specifications here:
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> specifications.o-
> ran.org%2Fspecifications&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange
> .com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b925
> 3b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111816661%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJF
> bXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTW
> FpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ANRkUOKc0zSE1yWl%2BVf9mr
> FHfSx8QcXuskdnad2NfAA%3D&reserved=0.
> 
> We were unable to find Version 04.00 of the O-RAN specification.
> It appears that this page only has the most recent version -
> Version
> 08.00 - published in June 2024. May we update this reference
> accordingly to point to this version?

[Med] Yes, please.

> 
> Original:
>    [O-RAN.WG9.XPSAAS]
>               O-RAN Alliance, "O-RAN.WG9.XPSAAS: O-RAN WG9 Xhaul
> Packet
>               Switched Architectures and Solutions Version 04.00",
> March
>               2023,
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fwww.o-
> ran.org%2Fspecifications&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange
> .com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b925
> 3b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111831186%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJF
> bXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTW
> FpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ohScqBntKHF%2FTbjUQL4jmQ
> CRoTM71JYrWSNswutf%2BC4%3D&reserved=0>.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    [O-RAN.WG9.XPSAAS]
>               O-RAN Alliance, "Xhaul Packet Switched Architectures
> and
>               Solutions", O-RAN.WG9.XPSAAS, Version 08.00, June
> 2024,
> 
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fspecifications.o-
> ran.org%2Fspecifications&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange
> .com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b925
> 3b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111844409%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJF
> bXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTW
> FpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=iLAFI3%2FZKvMqovzIytRabR
> lE%2B%2BgV6BDi8BKF61egAd0%3D&reserved=0>.
> -->
> 
> 
> 33) <!-- [rfced] Will readers understand what "the above approach"
> is in this sentence? Does this refer to the approach described in
> Section 4.2 or in this document in general?
> 
> Original:
>    Different IPv6 address allocation schemes following the above
>    approach may be used, with one example allocation shown in
> Figure 31.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Different IPv6 address allocation schemes following the
>    approach in this document may be used, with one example
> allocation shown
>    in Figure 31.
> 
> Or:
>    Different IPv6 address allocation schemes following the
>    approach in Section 4.2 may be used, with one example
> allocation shown
>    in Figure 31.

[Med] This one is better. 

> -->
> 
> 
> 34) <!-- [rfced] We see some differences in the terms below in
> text in Appendix A and Figure 32. Please review and let us know if
> updates are needed.
> 
> 2001:db8:b:0::/96

[Med] Please change this one to 2001:db8:b::/96

> 2001:db8:b::/96
> 
> 2001:db8:a:0::/96
[Med] Please change this one to 2001:db8:a::/96

> 2001:db8:a::/96
> 
> SST-01
> SST=1

[Med] We can use SST=1

> 
> SST-03
> SST=3

[Med] SST=3

> -->
> 
> 
> 35) <!-- [rfced] Abbreviations. (To view the updates to this
> section, which was moved to Section 2.2, we suggest using the
> alternative diff file:
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889-alt-
> diff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e
> 791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C
> 0%7C638968614111857703%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnR
> ydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyf
> Q%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ZtRL0Of3lJ8n4NqIRVAScs2Q4oP5Ua5SHUQneSa
> iBsg%3D&reserved=0)
> 

[Med] OK

> a) FYI, we updated the expansion of GPRS to use "General" rather
> than "Generic".
> 
> Original:
>   Generic Packet Radio Service
> 
> Updated:
>   General Packet Radio Service
> 

[Med] Thanks. This is indeed what is used by 3GPP

> 
> b) FYI, this entry appeared in the original, but it was not used
> elsewhere in the document, so it has been removed.
> 
> UE:  User Equipment
> 

[Med] Please delete it.

> 
> c) The abbreviation "DM" appears in Figure 7 but not elsewhere in
> the document. Will readers know this abbreviation (perhaps "data
> model")? May we add the expansion to the list of abbreviations in
> Section 2.2?

[Med] We can add Data Model (DM) as legend to the figure.

> 
> 
> d) "AMF" appears in Figure 8 but not elsewhere in the document.
> How should this be expanded?

[Med] We can mention "Access & Mobility Management Function (AMF)" as a legend 
to the figure

> 
> 
> e) Will readers understand "LxVPN"? It only appears once in the
> document. May we update for clarity as follows?
> 
> Original:
>    The correlation between an LxVPN instance
>    and a Network Slice Service is maintained using "parent-
> service-
>    id" attribute (Section 7.3 of [RFC9182]).
> 
> Perhaps:
>    The correlation between an L3VPN/L2VPN instance
>    and a Network Slice Service is maintained using "parent-
> service-
>    id" attribute (Section 7.3 of [RFC9182]).
> 

[Med] OK

> 
> f) FYI, we have added expansions for the following abbreviations
> per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review
> each expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness.
> 
> MACsec: Media Access Control Security
> MNO: Mobile Network Operator
> -->

[Med] OK

> 
> 
> 36) <!-- [rfced] Terminology
> 
> a) "DC1" and "DC2" (no space) are used in the text in Section 7,
> but "DC 1" and "DC 2" (with space) are used in Figure 30 and
> Tables 1 and 2. Should these be consistent? If so, let us know
> which form is preferred.

[Med] We can use "DC 1" and "DC 2".

> 
> 
> b) Please review the names of domains and let us know if any
> updates are needed for consistency. Some examples:
> 
>   Provider Orchestration Domain (Figure 3)
>   provider orchestration domain
>   Provider Network Orchestration domain

[Med] I suggest we mention

Provider Network Orchestration Domain (simply referred to as Provider 
Orchestration Domain).

And then use "Provider Orchestration Domain".

> 
>   Customer Orchestration Domain (Figure 3)
>   Customer Site Orchestration domain
> 

[Med] Customer Site Orchestration Domain (simply referred to as Customer 
Orchestration Domain).

>   3GPP orchestration domain

[Med] Can change that occurrences to "3GPP orchestration"

>   3GPP domains Orchestration (Figure 6)

[Med] We can keep this one.

> 
>   provider and customer TN domains
>   customer and provider orchestration domains

[Med] We can keep both

> 
> 
> c) We note capitalization inconsistencies in the terms below
> throughout the text. Should these be uniform? If so, please let us
> know which form is preferred.
> 
> transport network
> Transport Network

[Med] I suggest to use "Transport Network"

> 
> mobile network
> Mobile Network

[Med] We can use Mobile Network

> 
> 
> d) We see a few instances of "5Q QoS". Should these be updated to
> "5G QoS"?

[Med] Yes, please.

> 
> 
> e) Should "Slice Services" (uppercase) in these sentences be
> updated to "slice services" (lowercase)? It seems that "slice
> service" is lowercase in general text and capitalized in the terms
> "Network Slice Service" and "5G Slice Service".

[Med] Only capitlize in these terms.

> 
> Original:
>    The objective of Transport Network Slicing is to isolate,
> guarantee,
>    or prioritize Transport Network resources for Slice Services.
>    ...
>    Putting in place adequate automation means to realize Network
> Slices
>    (including the adjustment of Slice Services to Network Slices
>    mapping) would ease slice migration operations.
> 
> 
> f) Should "slice" be lowercase or uppercase in these contexts?
> 
> Transport Network Slice
> TN slice

[Med] We can use Transport Network Slice

> 
> 5G Network Slice
> 5G slice

[Med] We can use 5G Network Slice

> 
> 
> g) In general text, we see both "Network Slice" (uppercase) and
> "network slice" (lowercase). We suggest using the lowercase form
> when used on its own (the capitalized form is used consistently in
> the terms "RFC 9543 Network Slice", "Network Slice Service", and
> "5G Network Slice"). 

[Med] Agree.

This seems to follow the usage in RFC 9543.
> Let us know your thoughts. Some examples are below.
> 
> Examples of uppercase "Network Slice":
>    A TN slice might be considered as a variant of horizontal
> composition
>    of Network Slices mentioned in Appendix A.6 of [RFC9543].
>    ...
>    The use of VPNs for realizing Network Slices is briefly
> described
>    in Appendix A.4 of [RFC9543].
> 
> Examples of lowercase "network slice":
>    The document is not
>    intended to be a BCP and does not claim to specify mandatory
>    mechanisms to realize network slices.
>    ...
>    *  Providers may want to enable differentiated failure detect
> and
>       repair features for a subset of network slices.
> -->
> 
> 
> 37) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of
> the online Style Guide
> <https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fwww.rfc-
> editor.org%2Fstyleguide%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language&data=05%7C
> 02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de1291
> 9ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C6389686141118709
> 24%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDA
> wMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C
> &sdata=WylpPfQ%2FlTppZbn6L0BHYVVhLTT0ADOqHPhe48s4w94%3D&reserved=0
> >
> and let us know if any changes are needed. Updates of this nature
> typically result in more precise language, which is helpful for
> readers.
> 
> Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but
> this should still be reviewed as a best practice.

[Med] None from our side as well. We

> -->
> 
> 
> 38) <!-- [rfced] We made the following changes regarding the
> <aside> element.
> The <aside> element is defined as "a container for content that is
> semantically less important or tangential to the content that
> surrounds it"
> (https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fauthors.ietf.org%2Fen%2Frfcxml-
> vocabulary%23aside&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7
> Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d
> 20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111884374%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU
> 1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIs
> IldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=pFORth2IAr2DVlxLkY8WA7%2BMvPAK
> SZhv%2F%2Fmhg1YHZQo%3D&reserved=0).
> 
> a) We placed the following note in Section 5.2.2 in the <aside>
> element.
> 
> Original:
>    Note:  The numbers indicated in Figure 23 (S-NSSAI, 5QI, DSCP,
> queue,
>       etc.) are provided for illustration purposes only and should
> not
>       be considered as deployment guidance.
> 
> Updated:
>       |  Note: The numbers indicated in Figure 23 (S-NSSAI, 5QI,
> DSCP,
>       |  queue, etc.) are provided for illustration purposes only
> and
>       |  should not be considered as deployment guidance.
> 
> 
> b) The following text in Section 3.3.5 appears in the <aside>
> element. We added "Note:".
> 
> Original:
>       |  In order to keep the figures simple, only one AC and
> single-
>       |  homed CEs are represented.  Also, the underlying bearers
> are
>       |  not represented in most of the figures.  However, this
> document
>       |  does not exclude the instantiation of multiple ACs
> between a CE
>       |  and a PE nor the presence of CEs that are attached to
> more than
>       |  one PE.
> 
> Updated:
>       |  Note: In order to keep the figures simple, only one AC
> and single-
>       |  homed CEs are represented.  Also, the underlying bearers
> are
>       |  not represented in most of the figures.  However, this
> document
>       |  does not exclude the instantiation of multiple ACs
> between a CE
>       |  and a PE nor the presence of CEs that are attached to
> more than
>       |  one PE.
> -->

[Med] WFM

> 
> 
> 39) <!-- [rfced] Please review all the SVG figures in the HTML/PDF
> outputs to ensure that they convey the same information as the
> ascii-art in the TXT output. We have included some notes below
> about particular figures.
> If changes are needed, please either update the SVG in the XML
> file directly or provide updated SVG for the affected figure(s).
> 

[Med] Will double check those and will come back to you if any issue is found.


> a) Note that "===" appears as a solid double line in the SVG in
> the HTML and PDF outputs. Are any updates needed for this sentence
> in Section 3.3.5?
> 
> Original:
>    For example,
>    the bearer is illustrated with "===" in Figures 4 and 5.
> 
> 
> b) Figure 4: Do the boxes labeled "SW" and "PE" appear correctly
> in the SVG?
> 
> 
> c) Figure 5: Do the boxes labeled "CE", "Mngd CE", and "DC GW"
> appear correctly in the SVG?
> 
> 
> d) Figures 12, 15, and 16:
> 
> - In the SVG, the lines do not extend all the way to the boxes
> labeled "PE".
> 
> - The "+" signs that appear in the ascii-art do not appear in the
> SVG. Note that Figure 12 has a legend that includes "+", but "+"
> does not appear in the SVG.
> 
> - Figure 12: Please consider changing each asterisk to a different
> character and running aasvg again to get new SVG. It seems "+*"
> together does not appear as you intended in the SVG. Please see
> issue #20 for aasvg
> (https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2
> Fgithub.com%2Fmartinthomson%2Faasvg%2Fissues%2F20&data=05%7C02%7Cm
> ohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7
> C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638968614111897834%7CU
> nknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsI
> lAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata
> =VIMPoNQ2huSGOpNo9SJfuDiMGcU4EVnSh7wpEfjNW4Q%3D&reserved=0) where
> using a Unicode character is a suggested workaround.
> 
> 
> e) Figure 23:
> 
> - The boxes in the SVG that contain "5QI=", "DSCP=", and "TN QoS
> Class" are not closed in the SVG. Will these be confusing for
> readers?
> 
> - In the "NF-A" box, a pipe character is spaced over. We can fix
> it in the ascii-art, but we are unable to fix it in the SVG.
> 
> 
> f) Figures 24 and 25:
> 
> - Do the boxes for Slice 1, Slice 2, and Slice 3 look okay in the
> SVG? They are missing some corners.
> 
> - Do the boxes under "Slice Policer" in Figure 25 look as expected
> in the SVG?
> 
> 
> g) Figure 26:
> 
> - The bottom right of the figure looks off, i.e., "/|\" in the txt
> output. Should it be moved over one space to the left? We can fix
> this in the ascii-art if needed, but we are unable to fix the SVG.
> 
> - The "..." in the txt output does not seem to be reflected in the
> SVG output. There is a solid line with ".." in the SVG.
> 
> 
> h) Figure 27: Does the ">>" in the ascii-art appear as expected in
> the SVG?
> 
> 
> i) Figure 30: The filled-in dot in the SVG overlaps letters in the
> PE boxes.
> This should be updated. Please see the note above regarding Figure
> 12 for more information, assuming this SVG was created using
> aasvg.
> 
> j) Figure 32:
> 
> - Does the arrow "v" above the "^" above "MIot (SST=3)" look as
> expected in the SVG?
> 
> - Do the PE and NF boxes look okay in the SVG?
> -->
> 
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Rebecca VanRheenen and Alice Russo
> RFC Production Center
> 
> On Oct 23, 2025, [email protected] wrote:
> 
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> Updated 2025/10/23
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> www.rfc-
> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889.xml&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadai
> r%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40
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> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-
> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889.html&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucada
> ir%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b4
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> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-
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> r%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40
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> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-
> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889.txt&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadai
> r%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e791a47780b3808de12919ff3%7C90c7a20af34b40
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> 
> Diff file of the text:
> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889-
> diff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee292e
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> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889-
> rfcdiff.html&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee2
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> 6rLClHUVzaY%3D&reserved=0 (side by side)
> 
> Diff of the XML:
> 
> https://fra01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2F
> www.rfc-editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9889-
> xmldiff1.html&data=05%7C02%7Cmohamed.boucadair%40orange.com%7Cbdee
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> B18zgwDSb%2BBQ%3D&reserved=0
> 
> 
> Tracking progress
> -----------------
> 
> The details of the AUTH48 status of your document are here:
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> 
> Please let us know if you have any questions.
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> Thank you for your cooperation,
> 
> RFC Editor
> 
> --------------------------------------
> RFC9889 (draft-ietf-teas-5g-ns-ip-mpls-18)
> 
> Title            : A Realization of Network Slices for 5G Networks
> Using Current IP/MPLS Technologies
> Author(s)        : K. Szarkowicz, Ed., R. Roberts, Ed., J. Lucek,
> M. Boucadair, Ed., L. Contreras
> WG Chair(s)      : Oscar Gonzalez de Dios, Vishnu Pavan Beeram
> Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, Ketan Talaulikar, Gunter Van de
> Velde

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