No sex please, we're daddy's little girls
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070322/lf_afp/afplifestyleussexchastity_070322082138
by Jocelyne Zablit Thu Mar 22, 4:21 AM ET
WASHINGTON (AFP) - It has all the ingredients of a wedding. The
proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines
and an exchange of vows.
But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride.
She's daddy's little girl, there to take a vow of chastity.
In what is becoming a trend among conservative Christians in the
United States, girls as young as nine are pledging to their
fathers to remain virgins until they wed, in elaborate ceremonies
dubbed "Purity Balls."
The gala affairs are intended to celebrate the father-daughter
relationship.
The highlight is when the fathers and daughters exchange vows,
with dad signing a covenant to protect his daughter's chastity by
living an unblemished life and the daughter promising not to have
sex until marriage.
Many fathers at the ceremonies also slip "purity rings" around
the finger of their misty-eyed daughters or offer them "chastity
bracelets" and other jewelry that the girls can entrust to their
husbands on their wedding night.
"The father makes a pledge that he is going to keep his mind pure
and be faithful to her mother and there is also a time when there
is a conversation about putting the right kinds of things in your
mind, such as the father not using pornography," Leslee Unruh,
founder of Abstinence Clearinghouse, a leader in the so-called
purity movement, told AFP in describing the balls.
She said some 1,400 Purity Balls were held across the United
States in 2006, mainly in the south and midwest, and double that
number were expected to take place this year.
Mike Parcha, who recently attended one of these balls with his
11-year-old daughter Lora in the western state of Colorado, said
the events reinforce his family's Christian beliefs.
"We realize that purity is a lifestyle, not an event, and this is
just a celebration of that lifestyle and of that relationship
that I have with my daughters," he said. "The ball is a
culmination of the relationship we have with God and with each
other."
He said his three daughters have looked forward to attending the
balls and have no qualms about pledging to remain virgins until
marriage.
"They are just all for it, they think it's the greatest thing,"
said Parcha, 43, who is a college math teacher. "We raise our
children as Christians, we share the same beliefs .... and we're
on the same page.
"It's not like there is a tug of war of any kind going on."
His two older daughters, aged 11 and 18, have attended the balls
while the youngest, aged 4, must wait a few years. The three
girls, along with their three brothers, are all home schooled.
Parcha's oldest daughter Christy, who recently graduated from
high school, is now working on a fictional book about "the
emotional purity of a young girl as she grows up."
The first Purity Ball in the United States was organized in 1998
by Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry based in
Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Randy Wilson, who runs the ministry with his wife, said the idea
was to create an event that celebrates the bonds between father
and daughter.
"We saw that in our culture there wasn't a place for the father
to work for a good relationship with his daughter," Wilson told
AFP. "So this (relationship) allows the daughter to become a
stronger person in her culture as she is bombarded with all the
sexual images that are out there."
Wilson, who has five daughters, said the balls have become so
popular over the years that there is now a waiting list for those
wishing to attend.
Enquiries are also pouring in from aboard with organizations or
churches in New Zealand, Britain and other countries asking for
guidance on how to organize such gatherings.
The popularity of the balls in the United States, especially
among evangelical Christians, mirrors the Bush administration's
support of abstinence education in US schools. The government's
funding for such initiatives has more than doubled in recent
years to 206 million dollars (150 million euros).
But critics say that while teaching abstinence to children may be
laudable, it is just as essential to make them aware of sexually
transmitted diseases and condom use.
They also point to studies showing that the majority of
adolescents who take purity pledges break them within a few
years, often by engaging in risky and unprotected sex.
One study conducted by researchers at the universities of
Columbia and Yale found that 88 percent of pledgers wind up
having sex before marriage.
"Unfortunately these young people tend, once they start to have
sex, to have more partners in a shorter period of time and to use
contraception much less than their non-pledging peers," said
Debra Hauser, executive vice president at Advocates for Youth, a
Washington-based non-profit organization.
"Teens may pledge with the best of intention... and then as they
break their pledges they are so shamed and embarrassed that it's
unlikely they will go for help."
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