SIBLING RIVALRY
------------------------------------------------------------
Children prefer to have their parents' love and attention
all to themselves, and they often display jealous feelings
when a younger sibling is born. Find out whether your child
is likely to act in this way and what you can do to ensure
your family remains a happy one.
------------------------------------------------------------
Jealousy
Some children are the jealous type and have more problems
sharing your affections with a brother or sister, while
others find easy.
The age gap between children is thought to have an effect
on the strength of sibling rivalry. It's been found that a
two to four-year gap often produces the worst jealousy,
while there seems to be less of a problem if the gap's
larger (more than five years) or smaller (less than 18
months).
Sometimes the oldest child displays the most jealousy -
probably because they had you all to themselves for a
period of time.
However, each child is an individual and their behaviour
will have its unique characteristics.
Even though some jealousy is normal, it can make children
insecure or unhappy and might spoil the relationship
between siblings. It makes sense for you to try to manage
rivalry whenever possible.
Preparing your child for a new baby
While you and your partner are thrilled to be expecting
again, your child may be less than happy. This isn't
inevitable, though. Some may be as pleased, or more so,
than you!
There are things you can do to reduce jealous feelings
before the birth:
* Explain in advance - tell your child you're pregnant
and that another baby will soon join the family. Nine
months can seem like an eternity to a small child so
there's no need to tell her too soon, but you don't
want her to find out from someone else either.
* Reassure her - give plenty of comfort to a child who
seems worried or upset. Explain you'll always love her.
* Be honest - explain that babies can't do anything for
themselves and need a lot of time and attention. Also
explain that they tend to cry a lot and it's their
way of communicating.
* Involve your child - where possible, get your child
to help in preparing for the baby. This may be getting
the nursery ready or going shopping for clothes for
the baby.
* Avoid change - try to avoid making changes to her
routine close to the birth.
Reading books together about having a new baby can also help
your child come to terms with any changes that may be around
the corner. Both boys and girls can enjoy having a doll to
practise with, too.
By the time your child reaches two or three, she'll know
that your affections can be shared. Before this, however,
you should explain that you won't use all your love up on
the baby.
After the birth
Once the baby has arrived, it's perfectly normal for your
child to feel angry and upset. Try this tips to help her
accept her new brother or sister.
* Encourage her to help with the baby. She could help
find a nappy or a bath toy, for example. Never insist
on this if she isn't interested.
* Make sure you keep an eye on her and only allow gentle
touching of the baby with you supervising.
'Over-loving' - hugging too tight or kissing too hard
- is common and demonstrates confusion and the love-
hate feelings she might have for the baby.
* Point out that the baby seems to like her, perhaps
when he smiles.
* Some children are thrilled by receiving a gift from
the new baby.
As well as anger and confusion, you may also witness some
regressive behaviour in your older child after the birth.
For example:
* wanting a bottle or to breastfeed
* going back on toilet teaching
* wanting to be carried or dressed by you
* wanting sleep in a cot
* wanting a dummy
Stay calm, never get angry and allow your older child time
to adjust.
Time share
Although you're busy with a new baby, it's important to
spend time with your older child too. Here are some tips:
* Give your older child special time and attention,
perhaps when the baby's asleep. Read or play together,
for example.
* Let your older child have some special 'big kid'
privileges - being able to stay up an extra ten
minutes or choosing her own clothes, for example.
Stress that the baby isn't lucky enough to have these
privileges.
* Ask friends and family to show affection to your older
child as well as the baby.
Growing up together
Sibling rivalry sometimes increases with age. Older children
may only begin to show annoyance when the baby starts to be
mobile and snatches their toys or interfering with their
games. And a younger child may be jealous when her big
brother or sister starts school.
You may find your children go through stages - they may be
great friends at one age, then fall out all the time at
another. This is quite normal.
If you think your children will never get along, it's better
not to force them together. It might be better to let them
have separate friends and activities.
If at all possible each child in a family should have
somewhere that is all her own. If space is tight, this could
be a drawer or a box - somewhere to keep private treasures.
Avoid making comparisons between your children, especially
if one is receiving a lot of praise. This favouritism can
make them too competitive, and may cause distress to one
child if the other is constantly held up as an example.
------------------------------------------------------------
From: BBC - Parenting - Toddler & Pre-School
URL: http://tinyurl.com/4nde4
------------------------------------------------------------
Rgds.,
Erik
--[ Safe E-mail ]-------------------------------------------
Don't reply to e-mail asking for personal information. Don't
buy anything from a spam mail. Never contribute to a charity
from spam mail. Think twice before opening attachments, even
if you know the sender. Don't forward chain e-mail messages.
------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------
DUKUNG situs Balita-Anda.Com sebagai Situs Terbaik Wanita & Anak 2004-2005
versi Majalah Komputer Aktif, dengan ketik: POLL ST WAN 2
ke nomor 8811, selama 16 Okt sd. 30 Nov. 2004.
Raih sebuah ponsel SonyEricsson K500i, dua buah ponsel Nokia 3100 dan 10 paket
merchandise komputerakt!f bagi para peserta polling yang beruntung. Satu nomor
ponsel hanya berhak memberikan satu suara dukungan untuk tiap kategorinya.
Polling ini berlaku untuk pelanggan Telkomsel, Indosat maupun Excelcom dengan
tarif Rp 1.500.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> Kirim bunga, buket balon atau cake, klik,http://www.indokado.com/
>> Info balita, http://www.balita-anda.com
>> Stop berlangganan, e-mail ke: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
