At 18:58 98/11/30 EST, you wrote:
> THE FAMILY BED
>
> Should you bring your baby to bed with you?
> Here William Sears, MD, and Martha Sears, RN, the authors of Nighttime
> Parenting and The Baby Book, parents of eight, explain why they think sharing
> bed with baby is worth a try.
>
> Why is so controversial?
> Deciding whether or not to bring your baby into your bed is not controversial,
> it is INDIVIDUAL.
> We believe there is no "right" or "wrong" place for infants to sleep and every
> family needs to formulate a nighttime arrangement that works for them.
> Sleep-sharing certainly not for everyone, many babies sleep just fine on their
> own from the start, others need the security of sleeping with their parents.
> The point is, wherever parents and babies get the best night's sleep is the
> right place for them.
>
> What are the benefits of sleeping with baby?
>
> - It promotes bonding. Three actions encourage the mother-child bond: sleeping
> nearby, touching the baby, and breastfeeding. By bringing the baby to bed with
> her, a mother takes advantage of all three. Sleep-sharing is particularly
> valuable for a mother-baby pair who had a slow start due to the baby's
> prematurity or a medical condition that requires separating them after birth.
>
> - It helps babies go to sleep easier. In the early months, a baby needs to be
> parented to sleep, not just put down to sleep. This relaxes the baby more
> easily, and less traumatically than leaving the baby alone or letting the baby
> cry. It also creates a healthy attitude toward sleep.
>
> - It helps many babies sleep better. It's a myth that young infants can be
> "trained" to sleep through the night. In the first six months, babies wakes up
> several times, regardless of where they sleep. For many babies, it's difficult
> to resettle after this period of night waking. If the baby sleep next to his
> mother, her very presence conveys that it's safe to go back to sleep.
>
> - It helps many parents sleep better. Some parent found sleep-sharing to be a
> lifesaver. After a bit of practice, the mother can develop a wonderful level
> of nighttime harmony with the baby. Often without waking up herself, she'd lay
> a comforting hand on the baby's back when she or he started to squirm and help
> the baby drift back to sleep. Night feeding also became much less of a chore.
> The separate sleeper on the other hand, will wake up alone and behind bars.
> Anxiety sets in and baby cries. By the time the mother reaches him/her, the
> baby is wide-awake and agitated, and the mother wide-awake and exhausted. It
> takes longer to settle a crying and angry baby than a half-asleep baby, and by
> the time the baby falls asleep again, the mother may have trouble getting back
> to sleep herself.
>
> - It helps working parents reconnect with baby. For mother and babies who are
> separated during the day, sleep-sharing allows them to be reunited at night.
> It's also particularly beneficial for a mother who want to continue
> breastfeeding after returning to work. Frequent nighttime nursing will keep up
> her milk supply.
>
> - It helps babies thrive. In fact, one of the oldest treatments for a newborn
> who is not gaining weight fast enough is taking him to bed and nursing him.
> Now that sleep-sharing studies are being conducted at several universities,
> science is beginning to confirm what experienced baby watcher have long
> suspected: Something good and healthful happens when babies sleep with their
> parents.
>
>
> But won't sleeping with a baby make him overly dependent?
> The push for solo sleep in previous generations was prompted by great American
> desire for independence, however, both experience and research have shown that
> the more attached infants are to their parents, the more they learn to trust.
> In the first years of life, your child is a little person with the big needs.
> He trust that you'll meet his needs at night just as you do during the day.
> The trust, in turn, fosters healthy independence.
>
> In which situations won't sleep-sharing work?
> First, it should never be practiced reluctantly. Second, both parent have to
> wholeheartedly agree to it.
> Some babies and parents have a critical sleeping distance, having another body
> too close increases their nighttime waking, and some older babies kick, squirm
> and turn 360s during the night, frequently disturbing the parents.
>
> Safe Sleep-sharing precautions:
>
> Do:
> Place the baby on his back to sleep (to avoid SIDS)
> Prevent him from rolling out of bed.
> Keep baby away from pillows and heavy blankets.
>
> Don't:
> Don't sleep with your baby if you're used alcohol or medications that dull
> your sensitivity to his presence.
> Don't bring him to bed if either parent smokes in the bedroom.
> Don't allow fathers or older barother/sisters sleep next to infant under 9
> months old (neither one has a keen awareness of tiny babies).
> Don't wear hairspray, perfumes or other spray that can irritate baby's nasal
> passages.
>
> Meanwhile, remember this, The time your child spends in your arms and in your
> bed will be over before you know it, yet the memories of love and trust will
> last you both a lifetime.
>
>
>
> William Sears and Martha Sears.
>
>
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