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To All of Paris, especially those of Military
Command, and All Engaged in the Conflict with Spain
Sirs, I have managed to acquire what may be the
last sheet of parchment and a quill from those brave and sacrificial heroes that
comprise the E-troop of the illustrious Grand Duke Max Dragoons, currently under
my immediate command, as a desperate situation demands that I correspond with
military command in Paris. Though a novice at military affairs, I have
however learnt of a tragic incident, from which I believe important strategic
lessons must be learnt.
Names in the following report have been omitted, to
protect the identities of the idiotic. I considered omitting the name of the
regiment involved, but since anyone with any nous wuld obviously realise that
such a mistake could only take place within that band of men who go by the name
of the Archduke Leopold Cuirassiers, I decided not to bother.
Report begins:
The French cavalry of the Grand Duke Max
Dragoons then smashed into the Spanish right flank, causing the utmost
confusion, just as the 27th Musketeers
launched their deadly volleys from the opposite side. Faced with such a brave and cunning assault, the cowardly Spanish immediately surrendered. Eager to defeat more of the cowardly foes of France, the GDMD and 27M pressed on further into enemy territory, leaving the prisoners of war in the custody of Major ---, whose Archduke Leopold Cuirassiers had (unsurprisingly) only just arrived at the battle scene, just as the fighting was over. Major --- had the Spaniards herded into a
nearby farmhouse. The despicable Spaniards feared some attrocity would ensue,
before they realised that the noble French are far above such things.
Unfortunately, the Major did not properly examine the farmhouse that was to
serve as the temporary gaol for these prisoners of war. As he moved the
petrified masses towards the rear of the building, he failed to notice a small,
partially concealed doorway in that wall. After vacating the premises, to make
sure food and drink were available for the undeserving enemy, he returned, only
to find that all the Spaniards had fled, souring the previous delight of the
Grand Duke Max Dragoons' glorious victory.
Report ends.
My dear comrades-in-arms, I believe that we must learn a vital lesson from this tragic episode. I therefore urge you, in the name of God, and for the glory of France .... don't put all your Basques in one exit! Yours, for the glory of France
Captain Henri Serf-Edly (HSE), Grand Duke Max
Dragoons
[OOC: Having just discovered En Garde, I've
joined three games in the last 5 or 6 weeks, and must admit to posting a very
similar report in one of the other games. However, I think only one or two of
the Banana players would have had an opportunity to see this, so I thought I'd
share it with everyone else. Hope that's okay with everyone.
Peter].
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