Hehehe aya-2 wae joke tentang airline teh yah :D... dr milis sabeulah.

Very Low Cost & Low Safety airlines
Features, Facilities and Maintenance plus tips.

1. No brake - LION AIR
2. No Radar - ADAM AIR
3. No overweight - MANDALA AIRLINE
4. Fuel/Water mixed - BATAVIA AIR
5. Diving in Bengawan Solo included - GARUDA
6. Live Triple X video - MARIA EVA AIR

All Airlines may or may not include a thrill ride,
such as spinning or skidding on the runway.

Notes:
-- All of the above aircraft Engine are "New", made in
Cikarang.
-- The Airframe are check regularly (if not forgotten,
that is)
-- All the Tire are re-conditioned to TA (tanah abang)
spec.
-- All have "automatic" reclining seat and "ergonomic"
seat, fitted just for you, (it reclined whether you
want it or not and if you think the seat is too small
or too big, then obviously your body is abnormal)
-- All maintenance are carried out according to the
manufacture recommendation, provided that the manual
is available.
-- All yearly maintenance are carried out according to
the regulation, provided the authority is available to
enforce it.
-- All SB (Service Bulletin) are followed as
necessary, provided that the SB are read by the
mechanic or not hidden by the manager.
-- Everything about safety are checked and inspected
ANYTIME, as required by the authority (if there is no
authority around, then it might not be checked)

Note:
If before/during/after the flight, you find anything
that are not in order, such as, crack airframe, worn
out tire, break fluid or fuel leaking, etc. please do
nothing, because it is most likely that they keep it
that way as design features.

=======================
Incase of emergency - What To Do:

Engine Failure - on the ground:
1. Probably Nothing, you don't even know it, until
they tell you to move to another aircraft or your
flight has been delayed.

Engine Failure - on Take off
1. Probably NOTHING (by the time you realized it, you
already crashed)
2. If you survive, then try to get another ticket, so
you can continue travelling.
3. If you are injured, try to find a doctor.
4. If you are dead, then you are dead.

Engine Failure - on Landing Approach
1. Probably NOTHING (by the time you realized it, you
already crashed)
2. If you survive, then continue to your destination.
3. If you are injured, try to find a doctor.
4. If you are dead, then you are dead.

Engine Failure - on Flight, above Land:
1. PRAY
2. SCREAM LOUDLY
3. PANIC
4. Get all the blanket available, tied them together,
you might use it as paraglide.
5. Look for the Emergency Exit, Get out of the plane,
and find/wait another aircraft that passed by.
6. Fly to your destination.

Engine Failure - on Flight, above Ocean:
1. PRAY
2. SCREAM LOUDLY
3. PANIC
4. Grab the Life jacket under your seat, as many as
you can (just to be sure its not leak), and READ how
to use it!!

Broken Wing:
1. PRAY
2. SCREAM LOUDLY
3. PANIC
4. Ask for Antimo to prevent motion sickness (the
airplane will spinned)
5. Inflate all Life jacket and take all the pillows
and blankets available (think of it as an airbag)

AFTER THE CRASH - on the Ground:
1. PRAY
2. SCREAM LOUDLY
3. PANIC
4. If you survive, then try to get another ticket, so
you can continue travelling.
5. If you are injured, try to find a doctor.
6. If you are dead, then you are dead.

AFTER The Crash - on the Water:
1. PRAY
2. SCREAM LOUDLY
3. PANIC
4.If you are injured, try to find a doctor.
5. Swim in any direction, you will find dry land,
guaranteed!
6. If you choose to stay in the area, make sure you
are out of the plane (it will sink!!)
7. If you are dead, then you are dead.


Enjoy your flight.

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