Quotes of the Week
I love you all!
"He'll be getting a hug and a kiss from me - maybe even two!"
Sir Alex Ferguson plans to give special thanks to Sam Allardyce after Bolton
held Chelsea. So that's why Big Sam left the Premiership in a hurry.
"Lampsy, I reckon. The girls like him a little bit. If I was that way I'd see
something in him."
Chelsea captain John Terry when asked by the club's TV station to name the
best-looking player in the squad.
"There's a few ugly ones. Carlo is probably the best looking."
Lampard plumps for Carlo Cudicini.
"I didn't know it was against the rules."
Cabofriense defender Cleberson after being booked for kissing the referee
during a 3-1 defeat by Botafogo at the Maracana.
"I can see where the referee was getting confused - he does look like so many
of my players."
Reading manager Steve Coppell after their giant lion mascot, Kingsley - who
wears the club colours - was ordered from the touchline during the Newcastle
game because he was confusing the officials.
"Liverpool are favourites because in the year 2007, we've played 27 matches and
Liverpool play three or four."
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho cranks up the pressure ahead of the Champions
League semi-final second leg.
"If you're not a big club, you choose one competition and you fight in that
competition and forget the others. Big clubs - we cannot do this."
Mourinho again.
"Three years without a Premiership title? I don't think I would still be in a
job."
And one more for luck.
"When a player knows he is a slave he'll never give his employer his heart."
Liverpool keeper Jerzy Dudek plans to emancipate himself.
"A lesser man wouldn't have been able to hold those two people off and get a
shot in, he is so strong. He's the ox in the box!"
Plymouth manager Ian Holloway on veteran striker Barry Hayles.
"If Brian Ashton had any hair left, he would be pulling it out."
England captain Phil Vickery's reaction to the news he and a large number of
his side will not be allowed to play in the first Test against South Africa
because of European club commitments.
"Fulham gave us a kick in the you-know-whats and we responded."
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger on the 3-1 victory over Fulham.
"I told him he was a jammy b****** and he thanked me for the goal!"
Everton's Phil Neville reveals what he said to Paul Scholes after scoring an
own goal against his former club.
Paranoid? Moi?
"We kicked him a lot."
Mourinho reveals how he has got the best out of Mikel John Obi.
"It looks like there is a rule in football that it is forbidden to give a
penalty against Manchester United. One rule is not to allow penalties against
Man United and another says none in favour of Chelsea."
Guess who?
"Big Trev will be missed when he goes back to Peterborough. He's a funny
character to have around and a big strong lad - reminds me of an elephant seal!"
Richard Money, Walsall manager, paying tribute to Trevor Benjamin in his
programme notes for the match against Bury. (David Knight, Walsall).
"Next time I go to the theatre, I'm going to let some thespians have it. It
might make me feel better and then I will claim I pay their wages when I leave."
Stuart Pearce wants to give out some stick for a change. (The Raven, UK).
What about me?!
"And there is Milan's Ronaldo: Kaka."
David Pleat, forgetting about Milan's other Ronaldo - Ronaldo. (Benjamin
Richardson, UK).
"If you had our Ronaldo in attack, and Kaka and Cristiano behind, then you
could calmly go to the cinema and, without worry, ask how Milan got on."
AC Milan President Adriano Galliani on the prospect of Cristiano Ronaldo
playing for Milan. (Jeremy, England).
"2-2 to Tottenham."
Graham Taylor on Five Live during the north london derby after Jermaine Jenas
equalised against Arsenal. (Tom, England).
"He's the first Roman to enter Newcastle since Hadrian's Wall was built."
Commentator talking about Roman Abramovich during the Chelsea v Newcastle game.
(Emily, England).
"Leeds United, relegated to the third tier of English football for the first
time in centuries."
Spoony on 606 phone-in. He must be referring to those dark days of the 16th
Century, when Leeds were last relegated. (Benjamin Clarkson, England).
"I don't think you can blame a player for missing a penalty. I don't think we
missed a penalty individually, I think we missed it collectively."
Stuart Pearce puts the blame on all 11 players for missing a penalty! (David
Bedlow, England).
"He's a Spaniard who has come from Spain."
Phil Neville on Everton team-mate Mikel Arteta. (Graeme Smith, England).
"I'm sure that experienced defenders aren't supposed to be as handsome as Paolo
Maldini. But then you look at Gattuso and you realise who's been doing all his
dirty work over the years!"
ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley on Man Utd v Milan. (Henry, England).
"Behind every succesful man is a pushy wife!"
Tyldesley on why Paolo Maldini's career just keeps on going. (Kwaku Afrifa,
England).
"It's the first half of a four-half tie."
David Pleat during Man U v AC Milan. (Matt Jackson, England).
I wish I was in Blackburn
"Charlton's next game is against Blackpool."
Lee Dixon on Match of The Day getting confused between Blackburn and Blackpool.
(Daniel Matcham, England) That might be their first game of next season - Ed.
"If things don't change, then they'll stay the same."
Words of wisdom from the Eurosport commentator on the Joe Swail-Mark Williams
first round match. (Chris Jackson, England).
"Bayern may be fourth but we are the best team in Germany."
Owen Hargreaves finds it hard to admit Bayern may not be top dogs in Germany
any more. (Richard Lewis, Wales).
CHANTS OF THE WEEK
"You're not famous any more!"
Northampton fans to Oldham. This surprised most Oldham fans as we didn't
realise that we'd ever been famous! (Peter Howard, UK).
"You're not rapping any more!"
Bristol City fans to a Carlisle steward who was a dead ringer for Eminem.
(Chris Giles, Bristol).
"You're not champions any more."
Newcastle fans singing to the Chelsea fans after holding them to a 0-0 draw.
(Michael Carr, England).
"We won it 2 times, we won it 2 ti-iimes, Auto Windscreens we won it 2 times!"
Wigan fans respond to Liverpool's "We won it 5 times" chants. (Richard,
Ireland).
All aboard for Exeter
"You're going home in a combine Harvester."
Stevenage fans to their Exeter Counterparts. (Matt, UK).
"Who needs Mourinho, we've got Dave Brindleyoo."
Vine Inn Utd players to manager David Brindley after winning the Gainsborough
League on Sunday. (Richard Perry, England).
"You're going down with the Latics!"
Shouted by Wigan Warriors fans at the bottom-placed Salford v Wigan match. The
Latics being Wigan FC. (Kate, England).
"We hate Cockneys and we hate Cockneys...."
Middlesbrough fans to their Manchester United counterparts at Old Trafford.
(Anon).
"Wise, Wise, whatever have you done? You've taken Leeds to Division One. You
won't win a cup, you won't win a shield, your biggest game will be
Huddersfield."
To the tune of Lord of the Dance. Barnsley fans v Leicester City. (Tom Knowles,
England).
"You're not fit to wash his car!"
Stoke fans to a Colchester player during Saturday's match at the Britannia. Lee
Hendrie allegedly asked a Colchester player if he would like to wash his
Ferrari in the two sides' meeting earlier in the season. (Dave, England).
"You're just a bus stop in Aston."
Wolves fan to Birmingham fans at Sunday's game. (David G, England).
PLACARD OF THE WEEK
"Vaughan would make a good all rounder, if he could bat!"
A West Indian supporter held up this sign during England's game against them in
the Cricket World Cup. (Eoghan, England).
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