[bonsi97] Fwd: A Soulful Relationship

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:49:14 -0700

Ps : practise english makes perfect, practising this might make our relationship better..
 
 

Note: forwarded message attached.

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Enjoy this touching article....
 

Oktarina Zulfah (Ririn)
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A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
 
If you're not married, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other
married couples and reflect on it.
 
An African proverb states, " Before you get
married, keep both eyes open, and after you
married, close one eye". Before you get involved
and make a commitment to someone, don't let
lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure
from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind
to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't
fool yourself that you can change someone or that
what you see as faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time
his other flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and
differences will become more obvious. If you love
your mate and want the relationship to grow and
evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not
let every little thing bother you. You and your mate
have many different expectations, emotional
needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.
 
You are two unique individual children of God who
have decided to share a life together. Neither of
you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with each other, or
do you compete, compare and control? What do
you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past
relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
 
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or
her. You can't make someone love you or make
someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual
discernment, and " a life", you won't find yourself
making someone else responsible for your
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking
status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship.
 
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor,
sharing household tasks, some get away time
(a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a
note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or
send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not
away from each other, giving each other space to
grow without feeling insecure. Allow you mate to
have outside interest. You can't always be
together. Give each other a sense of belonging and
assurances of commitment. Don't try to control
one another? Learn each other's family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.
 
Don't put pressure on each other for material
goods. Remember for richer or the poorer. If these
qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain replace the passion. The
difference between "United" and "Untied" is where
you put the "i"??.
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