I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!
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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SCIENCE FICTION
http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml
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February 13, 2003
The Top 9 Valentine's Day Gifts for Science Fiction Fans
9> A box of chocolate Tribbles.
8> Matching Klingon forehead masks... okay, a single Klingon
forehead mask and a poster of Seven of Nine.
7> *One* ticket to the 12:01 Early Nerd showing of "Daredevil."
6> One Ring to rule you.
5> A time machine, so she can go back to the days where she could
actually *get away with* that Princess Leia gold bikini.
4> "Love. Monkey. Hot."
3> A flux-capacitor, a box of chocolates and a chance meeting
with your own mother.
2> Anything red... except a shirt.
and the Number 1 Valentine's Day Gift for a
Science Fiction Fan...
1> Oh, the usual for Valentine's Day: Gig upon gig of sweet,
sweet porn.
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Valentine's Day Gifts for Science Fiction Fans
RUNNERS UP list -- Two Light-Years' Salary
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An all expense paid holodeck vacation where your spouse will agree
with everything you say.
(Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)
Shakespearean sonnet book in the original Klingon.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
A demonstration of this ritual you Earth dwellers call "kissing."
(Steven Shehori, Toronto, Canada)
A cozy little cabana on the beautiful moon-drenched shores of
Transexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
Two tickets to the Whitesnake reunion concert. (Hey, nobody said it
was an *appropriate* gift.)
(Steven Shehori, Toronto, Canada)
John Carpenter's "The Thong."
(Steven Shehori, Toronto, Canada)
A fabulous three-day, twenty-night temporary marriage to the Long
family on Tertius.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
A red Kryptonite heart. Soon, you will be powerless to resist me.
BwaaHaHaaaa!!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
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Valentine's Day Gifts For Science Fiction Fans
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Simple, Yet Tasteless
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I'll whisk you away for a FULL WEEK of total-surround sensuality
in *various* decadent locations... all conveniently located
within Holodeck Two.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Just meeting an attractive member of the opposite sex would be
gift enough!
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Get real. Science fiction fans don't have spouses, girlfriends,
boyfriends, or even normal pets. To them, Valentine's Day is just
another Friday this year.
(Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)
Hayden Christiansen frozen in carbonite, with the little
de-freezing buttons busted out.
(Toby Click, Macon, GA)
Sharing a bottle of Spice wine.
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
Anatomically correct candy alien hearts with cute sayings in that
alien's native language.
(Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)
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