On Monday, March 17, 2003 5:05 PM, Jon Gabriel wrote:
> >From: "iaamoac" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2003 21:39:52 -0000
> > > At 15:11 17-03-03 -0600, Dan Minette wrote:
> > > Q.E.D.
> >
> >Uhhh..... I don't know how Dutch dictionaries work, but in English
> >dictionary definitions are *OR* propositions, not *AND* propositions.
>
> I looked it up, thinking John was wrong. He's not:
[...snip...]
> Back to the deuling dictionaries, I guess.
>
> Julia, would you mind posting the OED definition of "republic", please?
> :)
> Jon
I bet a lot of people on the list have friends that send them
"the joke of the day" email, at least I have a couple of those :-)
FORMS OF GOVERNMENT EXPLAINED USING COWS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FEUDALISM: You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows.
The government takes both,
hires you to take care of them,
and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows.
Your neighbors help you take care of them,
and you all share the milk.
APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows.
You have to take care of them,
but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you.
MILITARISM: You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
The government fines you for keeping two
unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to
give you two cows if you vote for it.
After the election, the president is impeached
for speculating in cow futures.
The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad.
The government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows.
At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them.
Then it pays you not to milk them.
After that it takes both, shoots one,
milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.
Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian
intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned
by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven
cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad fung shui.
FEMINISM: You have two cows.
they get married and adopt a calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are "associated with"
(the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric,
warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no
less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like...these two cows,
an. You have **got** to have some of this milk.
Cheers!
--
Han Tacoma
~ Artificial Intelligence is better than none! ~
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