President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French
President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.
BATON ROUGE, LA. The White House announced
today that President Bush has successfully sold
the state of Louisiana back to the French at more
than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said
Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as
a result. I stand here today in unity with French
Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to
accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will
cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a
'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He and the French
people are quite prepared to pump out all that
water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live
again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But
Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."
The move has been met with incredulity from the
beleaguered residents of Louisiana.
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis
Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush?s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the
President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill
Frist. "Instead of spending billions and
billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the
state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News
analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the
flooding in our own budget, we've made money on
the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are
done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again."
The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is
expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.
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