http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm

An opening sentence containing a burrito, an angel and a shovel was 
judged appalling enough to win the annual Bulwer-Lytton literary 
parody prize on Tuesday.
Retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed 
winner of the contest, which challenges entrants to submit their worst 
opening sentence of an imaginary novel.

Guigli's winning entry read: "Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office 
studying the light from his one small window falling on his super 
burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said 
you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did 
exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and 
lick the shovel clean."

Guigli's powers of invention and his determination to succeed -- he 
submitted 60 different entries -- also won him a "dishonorable 
mention" in the historical fiction category.

"My motivation for entering the contest was to find a constructive 
outlet for my dementia," Guigli quipped.

The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest was started in 1982 by the English 
Department at San Jose State University to honor the Victorian 
novelist who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with what were to 
become the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night."

It began as a quiet campus affair and now attracts thousands of 
entries from around the world. But the grand prize winner receives 
only a pittance and other winners "must content themselves with 
becoming household names," organizers say.

The 2006 runner-up, Stuart Vasepuru from Scotland, played with one of 
the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie 
"Dirty Harry."

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new 
editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or 
only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this 
excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language 
in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, 
you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' --  
well do you, punk?"



xponent

Cribbed From Yahoo News Maru

rob


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