Hello Doctor jokes ( Read This Funny Jokes )




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                Hello Doctor jokes




































             





















































































              

















A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says,
"What happened to your ears?"


He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I
accidentally answered the iron."

The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your
other ear?"

He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!" 
**************



A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."

2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" 
************** 


A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived,
unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed
the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much 
as
a doctor!." 


The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor." 
**************


A doctor said to his car mechanic, "Your debit is several times more per
hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't 
changed
since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every
year." 

**************


The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play
doctor."

"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened,
honey?"

"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance
company." 

**************


"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill." 
**************


A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what 
he
had.

He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to
have a seat. 

A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to
wait in the examining room. 

Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told
him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. 

Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?" 

**************


A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a
patient is getting better."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's 
name
and room number?"

She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."


He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had 
two
full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the 
heart monitor
in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going
to send her home Tuesday."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's 
fantastic! That's
wonderful news!"

The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a
close family member or a very close friend!"


She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell 
me a
word!" 
**************


An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an 
infected
gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his
patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent
blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall
as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly
each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him. 

After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and
thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The
surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was
really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. "But
doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked 
in over

a year!"







 












































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